Conceptual Planet: Part 1

Chapter 1: Introductions to Set a Scene

Standing in the center of a flurry. A flurry of electricity, colors, whirling, static, and the black nothingness. A feeling of flickering evasiveness. A tech phenomenon. A biological neural glitch. Maybe both.

She felt her arm reach out to feel, but feeling nothing. How her arm reached. Everything feeling foreign. A small voice, which recognizing as her own, asking "Is anyone there?". She trembled, but not out of fear. Her body betrayed her.

An unexplained energy, loss of control, and a eerie feeling of being watched. A Piaget nightmare, next thing she knew she was on the ground, waking, staring at the ceiling. This had happened since childhood. Although, now it followed a predictable pattern unlike in childhood.

She was a piece in whatever this was. Her understanding extending past what she felt was normal understanding. Often even speculating that she was a tool in some others creative process. Recently the parameters changing and shifting as they do every six years or so. Similar to a phone update that causes more problems than good. A power dynamic not fully understood by her, but in existence from around six years old.

Her biological glitch as well as other strange occurrences gave her a strong belief in a particle theory. Not exactly the same as string theory, but with some similarities.

Research in to A.I. starting with Turing and explanations of the Turing machine left her with a variety of theories scattered around in her brain as constant what ifs. Many she hoped to bounce off an expert some day. The main theory she always settled on used the key ideas of A.I., tech, particles and a minds eye.

Every humans eyes code. Eyes code every situation. These codes are internalized and transformed to another form of code, language, when we write or speak to others. In simple terms a situation is a point of experience and the text or speech is a line connecting it to others. All using biological codes starting with sensory input. This forms a network. A network of physical particles connecting to a neural network that can be seen even when the eyes are closed through picturing it, thinking of it, remembering or dreaming sometimes even with different events or outcomes. A universally shared coding system spanning all of our species. The eyes spanning all species that have them. Language a symbolic code for our other sensory codes.

It all started with a feeling. One of searching, or needing to search for something. Hints in all media watched, all materials read, all pages opened online. A force refusing to be ignored, although I would try. I remember thinking one day while listening to the radio I wish I wish I could hear a specific song and it played, I thought wow weird coincidence. Then I thought I knew the next song, and it played. I turned the radio off. This happened more than once. Little things not wanting to be ignored and showing me things it could do. When I read, clues emphasized or highlighted or further added to by some unknown entity.

As a child I remember ignoring it a few times. Then one day while in a car with my family driving to my grandparents house a pitchfork flew at our car off a truck. My dad didn't have time to swerve so it went under his little car, a Saturn. Something literally yelled at me in my mind, "Lift your feet now", I lifted my feet right as the pitchfork came through the bottom of the car floor. The tip of the pitchfork touching the bottom of my foot, but not breaking the skin. If I had waited even just a second longer, the pitchfork most likely would have gone into the center of my feet. I always listened a little more after that. I later would step on a nail while helping a friend work on an abandoned house her dad was fixing up and thought this must be the universes way of balancing the help I had received in the other scenario. It made me think, maybe the entity that provides the help must even it in some way to avoid problems in the accounting system. The nail I stepped on went through my shoe, but wasn't that bad.
It didnt stop me from throwing my hands up and looking at the sky, like where was my help on that one. I was also in my teens for that one, not the 8yr old child shoeless in a car, trapped, as in the first scenario. Maybe the "voice of god" felt sympathy for a child. So, for every kind mysterious help I received inevitably I had a similar opposite event that was slightly less detrimental, but the pattern still showed itself.

This is why ignoring the advice was also sometimes a thing. For example, my sister and I went to a friends house and we were all being watched by a baby sitter while our parents went out together. We were told by the babysitter not to leave the house. I was the youngest and usually the most inclined to follow the rules. The group decided we were sneaking out. I obviously had to go with them, it was decided, the majority of the group won out. I was not the majority. As we gathered the flashlights. The voice entered my thoughts again. It said, "Don't! You will get caught before you get outside. Not worth it." I ignored this, except saying to the group "I think we are going to get caught maybe lets just stay in". The voice made me see how we would get caught. The best way I can explain the voice, which isn't like a real voice, Its like jumping in a pool of knowing. You don't know why you know what it wants you to know, you just understand or absorb the knowing. All I know is that night it happened exactly how I knew it would. Complete deja vu. I was officially freaked out. I was 10 or 11 and scared of some unknown force that could communicate with in me.

Two hours had passed since the last time I checked my phone clock. Not sleeping, as I should be, but instead mentally preparing for work and reminiscing about the unexplainable. The dread quietly stomping around in my head. Work is not that bad, but work when my sleeping is not cooperating, is. My mind is a time keeper each day, not quite to the extent of Hugh Grant in about a boy, to give you a comparative example, but similar. Each days time broken into segments. Segments of labor, work, consumption of time and deadlines. Raised on the idea that usefulness was not to be wasted and idleness wrong and abhorred. My mind always wonders to the unexplainable facts that always are with me.

The Beginning

Sitting in front of my computer at a small table I used as a desk more often than my actual desk, I flutter tapped my keys with my fingers. In typing form, but unsure of what to type first.

"Where to start". Opening word I made a list. First bullet point and typed the following list:

-Dark Web

-Turing & Turing Machine

-Darwin

-A.I. & machine Learning

-Social security numbers

-First Novel and Movie ever made

-1st Web/ history of the internet and computers

-Materials (what the first computer was made from/of

-Classification Systems

-String theory/Particle Theory

-Dyson sphere

-Folklore (Annunaki-sky people)

-Religion & the Occult

-Egypt

-History of Medicine (key players/ideas)

-China

-Oil/water/carbon

-Paper

-1st insurance companies

-Brain & eye anatomy

The list typed in no particular order of importance since it was just a rough draft. At first glance it may seem like a confused list, but I could explain, if asked, why all bullets were important. I could research this list, but for any in depth knowledge I would need experts.

"I need experts on stuff", exclaiming to the empty room and my small laptop. Lifting my head and ignoring the irrational thoughts of self pity for myself and the world I got back to work.

Dropping my fingers I began typing. I searched college websites and reputable journals. I was searching for names of expert individuals, leaders in areas of study that related to my research. I would follow any promising lead. This time I'm determined.

Glowing Orbs & Shadows

Rubbing my eyes then reopening them wide, still confused by what I saw. While on a walk, I noticed a glint out of the corner of my eye. A little light glimmered catching my attention. It followed me around the whole block. I looked at my wrist, no watch today. I put a hand to my chest, no necklace today. No jewelry or accessories, no sun glasses. My eyes searched from window to window, no child with a little mirror playing tricks. In fact no one was around. However, there it was a little white light or ball of light floating weightless just hovering above my head on the left side. A baffling and mesmerizing curiosity. A light so bright it shown as a mini star. My own private tinker bell, I thought. What a fun trick. When it floated along the walk with me, the unexplainable nature of it caused me to go inside and end my walk. I couldn't help but wonder where it went when it was gone. Did somebody already possess an alphabet, a system, an A.I. that was able to hack anyone at anytime. Was what I saw really there are just a trick of my eyes. There was no one for me to ask. Nothing for me to research in except maybe occult books or hacking stories.

Science is rigorous in separating the observer from the observed and the observed from the observer. Science trains to distinguish to separate perception and reality. Then to study, atomizing all, to its smallest components to fully understand the whole. I couldn't help but think this is what someone was doing to me. Could science be trying to separate the human from the human being? The observer usually holds more power. It mattered how this was possible. If it was a trick, than who? In science if the observed and observer weren't emotionally separated empathy or sympathy could taint results. If no relationship existed than there could be a lack of care for the individual as a human being. It seemed to me this entity was doing something outside of true science, something with a more human quality of observing reaction. Or simply showing me I'm not completely alone ever.

The second time was blue orbs that turned a shiny white as they flew off erratically in different directions. This event occurred in my bedroom while I was sitting in bed watching T.V. alone. There were three, each different sizes, each disappearing as quickly as they had arrived. Thoughts of a tumor in my brain crossed my mind, possibly pressing on my occipital lobe or optic nerve. Although again I was fairly certain they had physically been in the room. transiently levitating to the right of my T.V. in-front of the side wall seeming to disappear into it. The fact that the occurrence happened again when I was alone seemed a cruel joke by whatever entity was having its fun with me.

The next thing I immediately did was research online. Pax 6 genes were noteworthy in my search. A protein used in the development of embryos and on. Genes have the power to turn on and off other genes or make other organs produce hormones. Could it be a malfunction. Or maybe it was more a problem with the nucleus accumbens in the brain after years of stress. A problem with the vagal nerve. Could I be battling actual strange occurrences or her own biological problems or both.

Eyes often lie and have a history of doing so. Language has hints to this with words like optical illusion, mirage, hallucination, apparition, phantasmagoria. Could her neural network be hacked and her eyes be made to deceive her?

The next scare came from a blackness that crossed my eyes, blocking my vision, while they were wide open watching T.V. As if a blindfold had covered my eyes. A shadow covering my eyes for a brief moment. A partial outline of a person as if made from the air just visible due to a darker tint making me aware of it. It had to be technology involved and hacking in some way. Finding what is possible was now my greatest desire. Waiting for answers to be given to from an unknown entity didn't seem realistic. If I wanted answers, I would have to find them. How far down the rabbit hole I was willing to go wasn't even clear to me yet. Im living in my head. Getting trapped in avenues of thoughts that lead me too many places. I'm tired before making any sense of it.

The Strangeness

After this point the strangeness began. Things would go missing, disappear or be moved to places I knew I had not put them. Birthday gifts gone before I could even use them. As a child I made believe it was magical. Kids always trying to romanticize the world. After the third wallet or money, I knew it most likely was not magical, but just unexplainable. Some items I suspected a family member took or gave away. The truly unexplainable, I saw, I made up scientific reasons for or my being tired.

As a teen I knew it was not magical, but evil. Events rarely in my favor. The things I needed rarely there when I could have needed them, but I did usually have luck in bad situations. Is that even still luck I often wondered. It is or was as if something was saying nothing is yours, not even yourself. But, than how did this entity exists or any other human or person for that matter. My life always had the appearance of being "charmed" to the judgy outside onlooker. At times, I almost believed it myself. However, the bad and difficult always outshined the good.

My first year of college was the first time I wondered how science and technology could be linked and hacked. This first year I 'lost' my car keys one day. I always kept them in the same place. I had a strange airy feeling, as I do when something disappears. I went to a very small college my first year. I checked every trash, every inch of my bag, retraced every place I had been. The keys were never found. I ended up having to call my mom because she had a spare. I once had an entire school notebook disappear on the day it was due and going to be checked, but luckily I had done many of the sheets in front of the teacher so he knew I did them. The others I redid. I got credit, but an entire binder!

This with fainting during presentations made school a dreaded experience. Strange occurrences mixed with my own being human and on gaurd almost anticipating strangeness, things were anything but normal or easy. My brain was hacked, it seemed, and the one who could see always made my life harder, less enjoyable.

Once a chap stick even flung off of a side table to the corner of the room. A water bottle I threw out switched with the one I still had. I new it switched because the one I threw out was warped by being accidentally placed in the dish washer. I had kept the non dented one. The one sitting on the counter was now warped. No trace of the non warped one, disappearing and replaced with the one I threw out. Every time a strange occurrence happens, an airy feeling exists for a moment in my head, which is how I know something happened. Then I search, recount my steps, to figure out what has changed or gone missing. Accepting this is hard, knowing something can toy with a less powerful individual in this way, defeating. I often wondered why it left me aware of the change or if that was a mistake or flaw on their part. Maybe a flaw in the system much like how they were treating me.

The strangest occurrence, that gave proof to my tech theory, happened while I was using my moms apple computer to complete school work. All of a sudden a screen popped up. It had a simple structure. It had three lines with fill in areas and a drop down menu. One spot said Title of work to be changed and page number, edition, etc. Then next a drop down that said change just on page, just on my devices, or everywhere. I tried to get rid of the box. There was no x to close it out. I tried task manager and turning off the computer. Nothing worked. I dont know why I did it, I felt compelled. I entered my text book, a word and just in my text. I watched it literally change on the book page. How is this possible?! I did another word, watched the words change in physical print. WTF! The third word I got scared, I entered the same word as it was printed in the text and said change everywhere. So it changed I assume, but to its already existing form so no noticeable change is visible. I just am the one who changed it or typed it. After the third word the pop up spun, zooming off the screen to a dot on the screen. Then it was gone. I barely could comprehend how this happened or was possible. I now believe who ever does this stuff, does it to give people something to be interested in. Problem is, again it was more defeating to know something like this exists, and I would have to try to solve this alone with no real ability to do it since computers always malfunctioned. AND, it was unexplainable and for most practical purposes, not possible. Plus I am not interested in hacking or computers, so solving this would be extra brutal. So it is a frustrating confusing situation.

Life, losing its magic quickly. Some how at the same time I had been told everything the one I loved had done wrong in our relationship, the magic was gone except for a curiosity in the unexplainable. I wasn't supposed to know all of these things, or at least not without being shown so I wasn't sure how much I should hold against him, but I couldn't help it, I did. He was not who I believed him to be and it just seemed to unfair and mean. Was the entity trying to distract me, or make me sad so I wouldn't be motivated to try and solve any of this. I officially feel like I am losing my mind.

The Work Each Day

I had, had my nose in the books for hours. So much for getting caught up on household things on my day off. I dusted some rogue crumbs from my t-shirt. It had been light out, early afternoon when I started down this rabbit hole again, now it was dark, the moon out and an owl was even heard hooting outside. Crickets sounded.

"I'm hungry, what's for dinner", my husband asked as he walked in.

I'd known him for more than half my life. I couldn't imagine a life without him.

"Pasta or casserole", asking in a tone that didn't allow for further bargaining.

"Pasta", he responded.

"Pasta it is", I got up and made my way to the kitchen freezer. Luckily, I had made a few meals on my last day off, meals for days like today. A day where I became consumed and forgot about dinner until right at the point we were both hungry. I began heating the pasta and preparing the silverware and plates, grabbing drinks for our inevitable dinner to be eaten in bed watching television.

"Busy day?", I asked.

"Not more than usual, but this guy at work keeps trying to bullshit me on timelines for a project. Keeps giving me a thousand reasons why certain portions arent getting done. None of that matters, I'm home and you are my refuge. He grabs me and hugs me, putting his face in near her neck, taking deep breaths and giving her light kisses. He was breathing me in and giving back on exhale.

"I'm glad your back too", she said.

Grabbing his food I went to the living room. "Here or in the bedroom?"

"Livingroom is fine", he responded.

"You look beautiful, but a little tired, have you been researching and thinking all day?", the worry present in his voice.

No use lying. "Yes and Yes. To be home sitting down with my food before me I was exhausted and not even very hungry.

"Well what did you find today?"

I briefly recounted some data gathered, some theories. I couldn't ignore him, I turned to him saying "I know, I know, you are my break. Don't worry, I'll figure it out and its all going to unfold as it should".

"Okay, I get it. But I'd like for us to both be able to live in reality together, escaping to it, instead of away from it".

"One day, that's what I'm working on for both of us, for everyone.

"Lets sleep now", he laid sideways on the bed spreading out so he took up the entire mattress.

"Oh, lets sleep", I said as I jumped on top of him saying steam engine and rolling back and forth on him until he grabbed me and pulled me in.

I forgot everything in the warmth of his arms as I blacked out to sleep or exhaustion.

The Theory

I woke up with my theory as an alarm in my brain. This theory was a culmination of everything that was, is, my life. A long shot, in being able to provide enough proof to move my idea from a hypothesis to a concrete theory. Proof that not only substantiated a theory, but provided me with all I ever wanted; A life with a real chance of happiness. A chance at understanding all events, an understanding that hopefully didn't kill the 'magic' of life, but in all probability would. I wanted the world to feel like a magical splendid place, the place I was sure existed as a child. A place where bureaucratic politics weren't the only creation allowed space for existence. Taking a break I moved to where Micah, my husband, was sitting on the couch. I held his arm in my hands, pulling my finger nails lightly in streams up and down his arm until working my hands up to his face. "Love should be all reason", I speculated. "You and me, we defy reason. Can that still be love?" He looked frustrated at my statement. Taking my hands down from his face, he patted my hands. "That's not....., he trailed off. (no response) (Leaves room) (Comes back in) He was uttering, "A lot of things don't make sense a defy reason. A-LOT, but they still exist". I asked, "examples being what?". Gravity, dark matter, and (laughing) Annie Hwkins-Turner". "Exactly", he agreed, or that God-Particle that helped organize everything. "You mean the God-damn particle, its not a God particle like the name implies". "Oh", he said surprised. He was referring to the Higgs Boson, otherwise known as the God particle. This particle supposedly gives mass to all elementary particles that have mass. Named after Peter Ware Higgs, although others speculated on it at the time. It is a highly unstable particle and is said to "decay into other particles" almost instantaneously, according to CERN 2012 who proved its existence. Formulation of stories and characters has always derived from men and women equally. Knowledge in any form coming from men and women of all backgrounds. Stories such as those found in the Bible, was and still is the most vastly dispersed publication world wide. It has taught, inspired and led men, women and creations of all ranks and backgrounds. Some scholars, such as Dr.Panin and others (Browne,Grant, Bullinger), have argued that there is a mathematical structure to the bible. A pattern of numerical organization even associated with the Greek and Hebrew lettering. Imagery from the bible is widely taught in literature classes and its depictions found through out most publications and media displays. Later classification systems, such as Browne's, would create a numerical letter form that is used in outlines and syllabi still to this day. All with origins to previous ideas. This is not to say that spontaneous thought or true inventiveness can not happen, but well I guess I am saying that, in my opinion it cant really exist. Because without language, how would it be shared? Without numbers, how would it be proved? So at a basic level its the 5 W's & H: who, when, where, why and how did you learn numbers, letters, and language. Even the development of computers finds its roots with both males and females. Ada Lovelace, in the early times of 1848, was the first person to write an algorithm. Although her experience stems from the work of Charles Babbage and his Analytical Engine, she heavily elaborated on it. She has become known as the first computer programmer. From this point his ideas along with her annotations would teach countless others creating an endless web expanding out in all directions with various connection points, but unlike a spiders web, it is multi-dimensional. The first form of computers, were mechanical calculators. It has been noted that "Pascal made one in 1642" and there were even some earlier. However, the first idea for computers, as we used them, came from Joseph Marie Jacquard in 1801. He devised a loom that punched wooden cards to automatically weave fabric. Other systems such as Herman Hollerith and Alan Turing would come later along with time card punch systems such as ICT. The earliest forms would all influence later productions: John Vincent Atanasoff who built the first solely electric computer that did not make use of "gears, cams, belts or shafts" or the ABC which was the first computer able to store information to memory and complete a task every 15 seconds, then 1945 saw the creation of ENIAC. My point being, that much like the earliest classification systems there were invisible links between individuals, information, materials, numbers, words, techniques of building etc. being formed creating a grid spanning layers with shared points. Even artifacts from Mesopotamia, it seems symbols for numbers, letters or some combo has been in existence with even the first civilizations. Many of the sites displaying architecture or art from past civilizations point to the existence of some form of math and language. This pattern has survived, lived on and progressed with society and civilizations. It is no coincidence that computers are based on a numerical code as well as one based in the alphabet. These symbols being further utilized in other computer languages such as Python, Java Script, HTML, CSS, etc. 0 and 1's of particular importance to computers, but also fractions or decimal parts.

As I already mentioned previously media has 3 modes one predictive and one that copies and one that recreates with various details changed. This again links to imagery in the bible; the prophet, the messiah, the people who implemented the information. People directly used in creation of characters or events in works that are widely distributed are credited in the unseen accounting system. In one layer you have the actual creators being paid, the writers, developers, or actors/actresses. In that same layer the people who inspired characters or events etc. if not compensated, are still connected and compensated through this unseen accounting system transferred through the collective if the piece is popular. In another layer acting similar to a Turing machine. The Turing machine asked yes/no questions and shifted up or to the left etc. in response to what it was being asked. Essentially writing a response. With media you have names, character appearances, events, places, etc. that are divvied out following a pattern of predictive, copied, or recreated attributes in the existing population, I believe acting similar to a Turing machine using probabilities and information from this unseen accounting system that is part of the 'grid'. What ever is used, a percentage is calculated for how much influence or impact it really had on whatever is being learned or development. Some times the why can trump all other accountings for an individual. This is where it gets interesting, this is the almighty force. This is where my story lives. Something that see's all or knows all, that accounts for transfers and all points in all layers that using the information understands the individuals position. How to account. Sometimes this individual receives what seems like 'prophetic' help or 'magic'. A test to see if it changes the perspective while also trying to decipher its accounting and transfers that are deserved or not. If the position in life is directly correlated to a high percentage of unknown or unseen events a different science exists, trying to provide an outcome that is best. However, this science is still based in this system existing in the unseen web of connections spanning the grid. Eventually, if we could devise a symbolic alphabet and use it to write code having the ability to break everything down to quarks or gluons, nothing could be outside the reach of manipulation. There would be symbols representing a layer maybe tech machine, energy, biological, etc. Then a symbol for device or location. Then one for material, Another for action to be taken. The next location. Another for time. As well as others. Then a sentence or code could be written with this symbolic alphabet entering data for each part as a subscript to the symbol. Making a unique code that attaches this abstract form to real functions in the physical world.

We are far from this, but I have a plan. A way to figure out what is possible.