Compassion Over Adversity

The last conversation that we had played over in my head like a broken record. He stood before me looking off into the wasteland we now call home and said, "Jack, I didn't expect for you to grow up this way."

I can tell the idea weighed heavy on my father as he examined the harsh world of now. After the nuclear disaster, all of the warnings science gave about the changes in our world seemed to move so quickly, faster than we saw coming.

Now, the ones who survived live in badlands, dry and pitiless. Our resources are scarce, and there is no governing law. The very instinct of survival is nearly the only order we have. Most of us form groups to help us survive.

As I sit overlooking a world so desolate and brutal- I remember a place much different from the one bestowed upon my gaze. The atomic disaster we all thought was a false threat; it ignited the process we had heard about for years.

I am young but old enough to remember sitting in a science class, excited when the teacher put on a movie instead of assigning just another worksheet. The entire room was goofing off, and flickering over the old screen was something I had seen a million times; the polar ice caps collapsing into the surrounding ocean. The narrator was so dramatic compared to our mischievous, ill-mannered jokes. It was like we thought that moment in our lives would last forever- well, it didn't.

The group I'm in is a piece of the life I knew. Our group is a bunch of ragtag old friends with some we found after what we call "The Break." Keeping ourselves small and close is the best way to survive- or at least that's what our lead, Tyler, tells us. It was he and my father who put us together after the total collapse.

Tyler is an old friend from my father's military days. I've known him my whole life, even before the end of the world as we knew it. Both are trained heroes with different ideas. Tyler and my dad never see eye to eye, but we are still all more family than friends. My dad wanted more, to help more, to provide, and to rebuild. Tyler focuses on the survival of the fittest.

I remember wanting to go with my father on that last scavenge for supplies. But the last time I saw him, he mustered a smile and tried his best to remind me that there was still something left in this terrible new world.

He turned to me and said, "We can get to a better place. We all just need to find a way to trust again."

It is a statement that lives within me, a constant reminder of how different the world became but how my father's heart remained. Who he was has lasted through the end of the world; hero, leader, father, and friend.

Now, everything and everyone is different. There is little fresh water, and the lands are covered in radiation- scavengeing is all that's left. Now, life is more about taking what others have to survive than anything else. There is no order or rule; just survive.

After a deep breath, I sit watching over the vast drylands just outside of where our group stays. Its shanty appearance is enough to make you think there is nothing left despite that last hope my father left with me. All I have are memories.

I remember when he and Tyler came across a box to bring back to us. It was at the very beginning. We all sat hoping for some canned food, weapons… truly anything that could get us by another day. I remember their disappointment. They peeled off the boxes untampered tape to reveal a bunch of stupid heart-shaped locket necklaces, like the ones you see school kids wearing as sentiment in the past world. Tyler kicked over the box with profanity, and my dad kneeled to scoop up a few necklaces. Even the silliest trinket can be helpful.

They decided to give a necklace to each of us, keeping enough to represent each member of our group. For each chain, we have enough resources for the person that wears it- them alone. Those necklaces were one of the few things my father and Tyler agreed. The lockets are a symbol of what we have to give, and even though my father wanted to help more, we all knew we must stay within the simple guidelines of the heart-shaped lockets. We have as many lockets as we do resources. When someone dies, we can welcome another in but never exceed the number of lockets we have.

Laced between the fond memories are the ones that hurt. Like the day my dad died. He might have been the last person on this earth to believe there is good left in the world. This man had so much to give, a decorated war hero who raised his son all on his own. Nothing could keep him down, and yet a rival faction killed him for nearly nothing.

The rival faction, the ones who unite through a tattoo of an eagle etched on their left wrist- they took him from us. My father approached a few of them. He laid down his weapon and raised his hands to communicate when they attacked. They killed a man who offered alliance for less than 8 ounces of fresh water hanging from an old canister on his hip.

I sigh and draw my eyes across the vast deserted wasteland as little footsteps come up behind me. Tabitha Peters, Tyler's daughter, is nothing like her father. Instead, she is sweet and gentle. I'm honestly unsure if Tabitha remembers anything other than this forsaken world; she's too young. Tabitha is like my little sister; our families close before the world ended, and now one of the only people I have to call family.

Tabitha asks, "Jack? What are you doing out here all by yourself?"

"I could ask you the same," I say as she gazes back with wide eyes, somehow full of childlike hope regardless of our circumstances.

"My dad told me to come to get you." She admits.

"I just needed space."

"He says you're his responsibility."

I roll my eyes as the child takes a seat next to me. She watches as I twirl my dad's old heart-shaped locket in my fingers.

Tabitha questions, "Is that yours?"

"No," I answer as I pull my locket out of my shirt, "This one was my dad's."

I can tell that even though she is young, she understands. Her Uncle Paul meant the world to her too. He was the kindness, the strength that we all needed. None of us know how to survive without him…

"Come on, let's go back and see if there is anything we can help with."

Just as the words fall from my lips, I hear a scream. It's gut-wrenching and too close for comfort. I jump up and point towards our camp, "Go back and get help!"

With one glance, I send Tabitha running back to our faction. The screams fill the air once more, and I give them my full attention. As I run, the sound happens over and over until I am close enough to understand precisely where the noise is.

A woman leans behind a boulder covered in her own blood. Her eyes are barely focused, but they are scared as I approach. In a second, I notice her round belly. She is having a baby.

I kneel beside her and ask if she is okay. She is in so much pain it's impossible for her to respond. I rip the sleeve off of my shirt and say, "Put this in your mouth and bite down as hard as you can. You have to keep quiet."

She listens as I do everything I can to comfort her. I take my canister and hand it to her. In a few long seconds, we hear the rewarding squeal of a newborn baby. The mother begins to catch her breath as I pull the baby up out of the sand.

The mother reaches her arms toward me to take the child when I notice a familiar engraving on her wrist. A tattoo of an eagle comes towards the child, and I hand the baby to her. I feel my heart start pounding deep and heavy. My mind flashes to my father, imagining him with his hands in the air- then to me cradling his lifeless body.

"You're," I mutter, "You're one of them?"

I watch as the mom, scared, alone, and nearly broken, shakes her head, "No," She uses some of her last strength to cover the bird on her wrist, "Not anymore they left me to die. Me- my baby, it was too much."

I nod, unable to tell if she is telling me the truth. "How am I supposed to believe that?"

"Please, I have nowhere, I have nothing..." She begs with swollen eyelids, "I just want to raise my daughter, to go somewhere safe. Please don't kill us. We don't have anything."

I feel sick with guilt as I watch this woman, in this condition, beg.

"I'm not going to kill you," I announce.

"It's been a while since…."

"Since what?"

"Since anyone's shown me kindness."

I breathe deep and look towards my hand that's covered in her blood. Still laced between my fingertips is my dad's heart-shaped locket. I look at her and give her the token.

"What is this?" She asks.

"It's a locket; everyone in our group has to have one."

"Do you mean?" She says, bewildered.

"Yeah- we can't stay here."

I help lift her off of the ground as she clenched her newborn tight. She can barely walk, but together we make our way back towards camp.

Our group is waiting as we arrive. Tyler stands with his arm around Tabitha's back as we draw near. I notice him studying the three of us as I help the new mother towards our group.

Tyler raises his hand to stop us, "Jack, who is this?"

"I don't know her name. I just found her and the baby." I trip over my words as I try to explain.

"You know the deal," I watch as he judges the woman angered by noticing her hand, "We don't have enough resources."

I aid with helping the woman raise her free arm to reveal my father's old locket.

Tyler shakes his head and steps out of the way. A few of our other group members assist the woman and the baby through our gates. He announces, "Tabitha, get the baby the last locket."

Tabitha chases after the crew. Soon it is just our leader and me standing face to face. I am covered in the woman's blood as he looks at me.

"She was one of them," He comments on the tattoo on her hand.

"Yes, they abandoned her because of the baby."

"How do you know that?" He is horse.

"I don't."

"You need to be careful." He instructs.

"I'm sorry." I answer, "She just needed help… Are you mad?"

Tyler shakes his head, "No."

"No?" I question. "How come?"

"It's exactly what your dad would have done." Tyler lets a smile halfway creep across his face as we both reminisce.

I can feel emotions boil up into my stomach and overtake my expression. Tyler places his hand on my back and leads me inside our gates.

As we walk, I look at him and say, "We can get to a better place. We all just need to find a way to trust again."