Charting a Purpose

"I'll never be as big as I am right now."

"What are you taking about."

She extends her arms out wide infront of her and then washes them all over herself.

"This, all this. I'll never be as big as I am right now."

"I think you need to stop drinking this."

"I'm not that drunk. I mean, as I get older I'm going to be less of a force in the world. Everything I'm doing is as big as I'll ever be."

"So, we are pretty small in the world in those terms"

"I know, but not as small as I was or will be. And nothing, just a point I'm making"

"I have no point, I just live. You philosophize too much. What are we doing out here anyways?"

She laid back on the desert sand and closed her eyes. The sun tanning her exposed skin, but no visible sweat on her skin. She was made for the desert. Heat was where she thrived. She could just as easily sit in an air-conditioned room too. She embraced her surroundings. Always making her place in it, until it seemed the place needed her. I was covered in sweat, praying I don't stink. Knowing most likely I do.

She places a hat over her face. Her collar bone a perfect line. She always wears the posture of a ballerina.

"We are escaping. What, would you rather be inside watching the same shows we always watch?"

"Yes, what's wrong with watching the same shows. They're like best friends, except they require nothing from you to be there."

"Jesus, and I thought I was dark. Did you just hear yourself. *A bit depressing no?!" (*She says in her best british accent)

I never understood her thought process in switching into British or Australian accents, but it always made me smile.

"Fuck you, you know what I'm saying. And you trying to make me feel dumb doesn't make it any less true. My shows don't require me to be out here sweating my balls off, drinking, getting dehydrated to escape something I'm not knowing I need to escape."

"Sorry, than go. I'm bored, bored with it. We are escaping time and priorities and responsibilities. For an afternoon.

"I have to go soon anyways, Mazie will be back in an hour or so. I told her about us, but she doesn't quite get it or feel comfortable with it yet."

"I figured."

"Go, I'll see you tomorrow."

I lay on the ground next to her.

"Maybe we can escape are size for 15 more minutes."

"You get it, Thank You!"(She kisses him on the cheek)

We both lay giggling saying nothing. The sky is a beautiful clear color swatch of sky blue. There are no birds in sight.

"Hey, Mazie played me this song. It's by Bob Moses."

"Trippy, that song made me feel more out of it  than I think I am."

"No I think the heat and alcohol combined are making you more drunk than you usually would be."

"Potato Patato, it's definitely the song. You and Mazie pop any pills when you listen to this stuff."

"No, shut up."

"Keep it on, I'm not talking shit. Leave it, I like it."

"You are just jealous you can't take pills."

"So you do, HA, I knew it. No, not jealous I never needed pills. You know. You can vouch for that, be my reference."

"We can't make jokes like that any more, okay?."

"Okay, okay, I know."

"What is this song called?"

"Far from the tree, It's said a billion times in the song. So you wont forget."

"Ahhhh, that's good marketing. Could you imagine if it was something random and unrelated. Like, pumpkin."

"Why would it ever be called Pumpkin?"

"Exactly, it would be so confusing. Other artists do things like that. I probably will remember this. Thanks for sharing. You want the rest of the candy bar?"

"Sure I'm not driving."

"Such a nerd. I'm not either, can I finish our drink?"

"Yeah"

(They both finish their treats)

I stand up and extend a hand, using my best accent saying, "My lady..."

She takes my hand and pulls herself up.

It's a ten minute walk to my apartment and the lyft I got her. She only lives about 10 minutes drive from me, but it's hot. It's not like during winter when we ride bikes. We both worked at a bed and breakfast near my apartment, until recently. I guess she still works there, but in the security department so I no longer work with her. She even works remotely some days. It doesn't seem like the most responsible thing to have her on security, but the world is full of contradictions and she was always really good at her job.

"Hey want to listen to Meat puppets on the walk?"

"Meat Puppets?"

"Next you'll be telling me you don't like Nirvana."

"What? I like Nirvana."

"I know. I don't know why I asked. So tomorrow you hanging out with your old familiar friends or you want to do something for a couple hours again?"

"We can't, I can't. Not everyday, not every other day. You know?

"But if I was a guy.... Anyways, okay I'm not a guy sooooo. No need to say more. I got it. I get it. I'd be the same way. I blame you. Couldn't you just be single forever.

"Sorry, you can vouch I would never pass up a good thing."

She gives me a half smile in recognition of my trying to be cute, funny and sweet.

"Hey, you ever think about those cows they find that are mutilated?", she says changing our focus.

"Ummm, not really, but why?"

"No, I didn't think you would, but I have been researching. I can never find info about the actual cows or the people raising the cows. Like info if the cow had a virus or was born with a disease. I want a chart, you know. A chart that has the age of the cows, what vaccines they had, what vet they saw, Food they ate, etc. Then I could look for patterns. What gender were they? If female did they give birth? What year and month did it happen? You know, like a detailed inclusive chart. I bet there is some pattern or something."

"What if there is none? after all of that?"

"Well at least it would be ruled out in a systematic way. What if there is a pattern tho?"

"Drunk and you think of things I would never come close to thinking of."

"Again, I'm not that drunk. I've thought about researching this. Trying to get a chart going. Maybe put it on the web for others to add to, help the cattle people. I wrote some people."

"Yeah, really? How far you get?"

"I just started. You think it's dumb?"

"Not dumb, but do you really want attention from the person doing those things."

"Never thought of that really"

"Smartest dumb person"

"Shut up, I kind of thought of it, but thought they might respect my process and not really care because obviously beyond my knowledge and skill. But, might be flattered in a way."

"A killer flattered, that's what you are going for?!"

"Want to help me or not, Mazie could get in on it too?"

"Sure, I'm good at charts. Plus better with all of us. Keep you roped in a little."

"Thanks, I've been thinking and researching a lot. It means a lot to me. I'll see you tomorrow, same time."

With that she kisses me and runs to her lyft. I'm a little dazed at what just happened and somewhat excited about what we were endeavoring to do.





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