Chapter 9: The Proposal

"That has to be the stupidest idea I have ever heard!"

Jacob tried not to wince at War's declaration. "What makes it stupid?"

"War on Drugs? Seriously?" War laughed in derision. "I don't fight wars I can't win."

"I thought you won every war you ever fought in." Jacob said slowly.

War cocked his head and spoke in a slow measured tone. "I have. That is because I don't start one I can't win."

"It's about as dumb as Hunger for Knowledge." Famine added in his high whiny voice. He cast a glance at Pestilence. "Or End the plague of Inequality. The first has been done by libraries with mediocre results, the second one is little more than an unsuccessful ad campaign run by liberals."

"Inequality is a real problem." Racheal objected.

"Just not ours." The conqueror interrupted. He held up his hand to stave off additional protests. "Look, these are all very noble causes, but they are outside the realm of our responsibility."

Racheal crossed her arms. "If you conquer a people, you have a responsibility toward them."

"Yes." The conqueror agreed.

"Then you are shirking your responsibilities."

The conqueror's eyes narrowed. "You're forgetting something. We haven't conquered anyone yet."

"But you intend to..."

"Actually, we intend to wipe out the world, not conquer it." Pestilence corrected her.

"Which you can't do until your brother, um, PC gets here." Jacob pointed out.

"So what? You want us to fix everything first, then wipe it out?" Pestilence laughed heartily. "Yeah, no."

"I don't understand what the problem is, you have nothing else to do." Racheal demanded.

"If we fix everything, what would be the point of wiping it all out?" War asked.

Jacob had an idea. "So you're saying that if people were able to fix the problems in this world, the apocalypse wouldn't have to happen?"

Pestilence broke out in a fresh bout of laughter, causing flakes of skin to drop from his cheeks. "Oh that's a good one."

"As if." Famine's whiny voice held mirth.

Racheal turned red. "You don't think people have the capacity to make this world a better place?"

"They do." The conqueror said soothingly. "History is filled with individuals who make positive contributions to society and the betterment of the planet. Unfortunately, history also shows that society tends to discredit most people who try to institute any change, no matter how much to the good it might be."

"Suppose this time is different." Jacob suggested.

"The outcome would likely be different." The conqueror conceded.

"You wouldn't have to wipe out everyone and everything?" Racheal asked hopefully.

"There is a lot of change people would have to implement and it would all have to be before our campaign started." The conqueror said carefully. "Once the campaign starts, there is no stopping the succession of events."

Racheal leveled a look at the tall man. "Then we are going to make those changes happen!"

"Good luck with that." War shook his head.

"Are we done here?" Pestilence asked.

“Yes, I believe we are finished.” Conqueror replied. “Unless there is anything either of you would like to add…”

Jacob shook his head. “No, I think we have said all we had to say. Thank you for listening.”

The Conqueror smiled generously. “We are always willing to listen.”

Pestilence rolled his eyes. Famine pushed his chair back. “Hey Pesty, did you want to join me for a little fishing?”

“Sure. I could use a little fresh air.”

The two brothers departed, leaving the rest of the party sitting at the conference room table. War cleared his throat and addressed his son Alex who unlike the rest, stood at the back of the room. “I need you to put together a garrison and patrol the countryside this afternoon. It’s been a few days and the horses need to get some exercise.”

“Yes sir.” Alex responded. “I’ll get right on it.”

“Good.” War turned to the conqueror. “If you’re free, there are some drawings I would like to go over with you.”

“Sure. I’ll meet you in the drafting room in about ten. Work for you?”

“Works for me.” War smiled at his brother. “See you ten.”

The two broad shouldered men headed out the door. Alex crossed the room to Racheal and leaned down to give her a kiss on the cheek. “I gotta get going, but I’ll see you later.”

“Sure.” Racheal responded half heartedly.

“Hey, it went better than I thought it would.” Alex tried to offer comfort.

“We failed.”

“Don’t give up so easily. I’m sure you’ll think of something.” Alex smiled as he left the room.

“He’s right, we shouldn’t give up.” Jacob began straightening out the papers in front of him.

Rachael turned to him in disbelief. “You’re kidding me, right? Where do we go from here? Conqueror flat out told us they weren’t going to do anything to help.”

“That’s not exactly what he said.”

“I seemed to recall his words were: society’s problems were outside their realm of responsibility.”

“He said the problems we presented weren’t their responsibility because they hadn’t conquered anyone.” Jacob corrected her.

“What are you suggesting? They conquer the planet?”

“Not a bad idea.”

“Sounds like a terrible idea.” Racheal retorted.

“No, just think, if they conquer the planet, they have to take care of society and all its problems.” Jacob smiled. “Our problems become their problems.”

“Except for one small problem.”

“What’s that?”

“They don’t intend to conquer anything. Their goal is to destroy everything.”

Jacob’s grin widened. “Unless we force their hand.”

Racheal’s eyebrows shot up. “Are you suggesting we start a war?”

“Why not?”

“Are you nuts?”

“No, really.” Jacob said patiently. “We don’t have to actually go to war, just kinda give them a nudge so that they are forced to take over.”

“This could go wrong in so many ways. I shudder to think of what might happen if Pestilence is unleashed on the population. Add Famine to the mix and you have a disaster in the making before War even moves a single trebuchet. Millions of people could die of disease alone.”

“Millions of people already die of disease every year.”

“Well, millions more. Do you really want that on your conscience?”

“So we don’t give them reason to unleash those two.”

“Just War and Conqueror then.” Racheal pouted. “Because that is so much better.”

“Hopefully we can prevent them from firing a single shot.”

“Just how do you plan on pulling that off? We couldn’t even convince four guys to even think about the ideas we pitched to them.”

“I didn’t actually expect them to agree with anything we presented.” Jacob said tartly.

“Well, you had better have a damn good plan.” Rachael eyed him critically.

“Not me.” Jacob said with a grin. “I’m leaving it to the politicians to come up with something to provoke the riders without starting a war.”

Racheal snorted. “The house of lords and the house of commons can’t even agree on where to put a stop sign, let alone make any major decisions.”

“I’m thinking of appealing to other countries, like the US or Canada.”

“As if the US senate or house would be any better than the bumbling idiots we have here. I don’t even know what they have for government in Canada. It could be a bear king for all I know.”

“They have a senate and a house of commons.”

Rachael stared at Jacob. “And you know this why?”

“I took political science.” Jacob said smartly. “And I was originally looking for a job at a Canadian university.”

“So why didn’t you get a job there?”

“I was turned down.” Jacob shrugged. “Not enough need for someone with my degree there. Bet they’re regretting that now.”

“Yeah, up until they realize you unleashed the apocalypse.” Racheal quipped. “That will probably put a damper on your future job search.”

“Come on, we can’t sit here all day. We have work to do. We have a war to plan.” Jacob stood and collected his papers. “Too bad Alex had to go.”

“I thought you didn’t like him.”

“I don’t, but I bet he would have some great advice on how to start a war without weapons.”

“We don’t even know if that’s a thing.”

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“Pretty sure we just discovered there is such a thing as weaponless war.” Jacob sat dejectedly on the steps of the parliament building.

Racheal sat beside him. “No, the security guards definitely had weapons.”

Jacob eyed her. “They threw us out to prevent us from filling out paperwork to file a hearing.”

“We weren’t arrested.”

“Just about.” Jacob put his head in his hands. “I had an appointment. I made it two weeks ago after learning how hard it would be to actually see one of our representatives.”

“They said your reason wasn’t valid.”

Jacob lifted his head. “They could have told me on the phone that the subject matter was considered invalid. It wasn’t like I was hiding it from them. No, after telling them what I wanted to file for, they made me an appointment to come in, then threw me out. If I wanted to petition for a stop sign, no problem. But try to stop the apocalypse, not a valid subject, unless I want to pay someone to legitimize the topic and file it for me.”

“The clerk was just doing her job. They have procedures they have to follow.”

“Expensive, pointless procedures.” Jacob snapped. “Annoying procedures.”

“Maybe we are going about this all wrong.” Racheal said thoughtfully.

Jacob raised an eyebrow. “How so?”

“Perhaps we need to focus more locally.”

“Racheal, everyone in town loves the horsemen. No one is going to pass ordinances against them.”

Rachael grinned. “It’s not the horsemen they love, it’s the income they generate.”

“Does it make a difference?”

“It does if they think they are being cheated out of additional revenue.” Racheal leaned back on the steps and lifted her face to the sun. “Remember that homeless encampment in the park a few years ago?”

“What about it?”

“The local aldermen didn’t like the fact that those people were there. They were quick to pass rules to outlaw homelessness.”

“Those people were a nuisance. Half of them were stoned out of their minds. It was a good riddance.”

“But the aldermen didn’t stop at just regulating free tenting, they outlawed ALL homelessness. You could call it a war on homelessness. The guy that owns two of the hotels in town pushed the legislation through. His argument was that the homeless camp was eating into hotel profits, and therefore stealing from the city revenue tax. After that, peole couldn’t even sleep in their cars. Jerry, the night watchman at the school was arrested for sleeping in his car between shifts when he couldn’t get home. He’d been doing it for years during the busy move in time for university students and it was handy to have him on campus to handle situations that arose, but they chose to arrest him. The university staff was short for three days before he could get released. They city had use police resources to address the situation.”

“That bit them in the ass.”

“Uh huh.” Racheal nodded. “But they wouldn’t back down. He tried to appeal the charges, but was shot down by the city. They wanted him to rent a room. He appealed to the university, but they wanted revenue for housing him from time to time as well. So he refused to do any more swing shifts. The university had to hire someone for the times he couldn’t cover. They panned a majority of the cost off onto the city as it was a city requirement to have the security in the first place. It wound up costing them double what it would have if they had accommodated Jerry.”

“I imagine they have since repealed the law.”

“No, that’s just it. The law still stands. The city feels they were being cheated when there was a homeless encampment and then they were convinced that they would lose too much revenue to make an accommodation.”

“Well that was just stupid.”

“It was.”

“So what does this have to do with our situation?”

“We just need to convince the city that they are losing revenue to the horsemen.”

“And how are we going to do that?”

“I don’t imagine the horsemen had any permits when they started their venture. I also doubt that the castle is being registered as a residence, so all those people staying there…”

“They garrison troops.”

“They are boarding for free.” Rachael smiled broadly. “Plus, I am sure utility costs have gone up, the roads are busy and need expanding, and then there is the parking problem.”

Jacob grinned. “I see where you’re going with this.”

“All we have to do is find who is the most unhappy with the horsemen and how they could benefit financially.”