Chapter 6: Updates are in Order

Jacob stood in the middle of his lab with one hand pressed to his forehead. It had been over two weeks since he had come into work and the changes made him dizzy. Numerous students tapped away at new laptops while others wearing bright new white lab coats were carefully opening boxes with latex gloved hands to remove old manuscripts and lay them out on the work tables. A technician was installing lights overhead and a delivery company was putting together backlit tables along one wall. It was everything he could have ever wanted from the university and a dream come true for any historical preservationist.

As far as he was concerned, it was the worst thing to ever happen to him.

“We have gone through all your past requests over the last few years for equipment and lab upgrades and I don’t think that my staff missed anything. But if you think of anything additional that you need, you just say the word and I will get someone on it right away.”

Jacob stared at the department head and wiped his nose with an overused Kleenex. His cold didn’t seem to be abating in the least. If anything, it seemed to be worsening.

“Look, the lawsuit with the actors hired by the university for the publicity stunt has been settled. The actors were happy with the settlement and the university is no longer mad that you brought in your own crew to set things up. No one is looking to take action against you any more.” The department head assured him.

“For the last time, I didn’t hire andy actors.” Jacob said through his tissue.

“It’s all water under the bridge.” placated the man. “Revenue for both the town and the university is up twelvefold, enrollment has skyrocketed and you have a new, ten year contract.” The man hesitated, suddenly uncertain. “You did sign the contract, didn’t you?”

“Yesth.” Jacob hadn’t much choice. Alex was adamant that his work at the university was the key to stopping the end of the world. When the new contract had been delivered, the dashing soldier practically held the pen for him.

The department head brightened visibly. “So everyone is happy, bygones be bygones and all that, right?”

“Yeah, sure.” Jacob swiped at his nose.

“Good.” The suited man clapped him on the shoulder. “I have been given an open ended budget to accommodate your needs here in the lab, so you just say the word.”

Jacob eyed the man. “I say this is overkill.”

The department head laughed heartily. “You were always the kidder.”

“I’m not kidding.” Jacob sneezed. “Get rid of dem.”

“We can’t do that, they are part of the new college of restoration developed by this university.”

“I can’t manage a staff and continue my worg.” Jacob searched his pocket for a fresh kleenex. He wasn’t even certain he could get at one of the new computers, let alone search for some means to stop the riders.

“If you can’t fulfill your duties, you would be in breach of contract.” The man adjusted his suit. “I’m sure you’ll figure something out. I think when you start feeling better you will see things in a different light.”

Jacob sneezed into his rapidly disintegrating kleenex.

“You really should pick something up at the drugstore for that cold. It sounds pretty nasty.”

“Yes, very nasty.” Rachel joined the two men. There was a wicked gleam in her eye.

“Drugstore should have something to help.” suggested the department head. “And don’t worry about using up sick days. Your new contract has a healthy clause, so take as many as you need.”

“Thank you berry bunch.” Jacob turned to his assistant who glared at him. “But dey probably won’t be needed all dat much.”

“I will just let you two talk and get about my business.” The department head was all business once more. “I have a lunch meeting with the board of directors this afternoon to report our progress.”

“I sent you an update this morning, Dr. Klules.” Rachel smiled at the man. The smile didn’t extend to Jacob.

“That is most welcome. I look forward to reading it.” He looked back at Jacob. “You have yourself a real gem of an assistant. You should consider giving her a raise. It’s in your budget now, you know.”

Jacob watched as the man ducked past two workmen carrying a light fixture and danced his way out the door. He dabbed his nose with the tissue once more.

“Yes, a raise is in order.”

“Fine, name your salary.” Jacob shrugged. “On second thought, you can have my job.”

“We need to talk.” Rachel leveled a cool stare at him. “But not here. Let’s go down to the cafe and grab a bite to eat.”

“I tought you hatbed eating at the cafe.” Jacob sniffed.

“They’ve upgraded the menu.” Rachel replied. “We can pick something up for that cold while we are out.”

Jacob allowed himself to be led out of the lab. Ten minutes later, he found himself considering the options that filled the shelves of the local pharmacy while a cheerful clerk helped Rachel select a number of cold remedies for his stopped up head.

“Oh, I would stay away from that product.” Piped up a familiar voice from behind them. “It can lead to heart problems and other complications if you are not careful.”

Jacob turned to see Pestilence.

“I never realized that.” Rachel said replacing the package to its home on the shelf.”

“Oh yes. Moreover its effectiveness claims are wildly exaggerated.” Pestilence nodded.

“My mother always said chicken soup is the best remedy for a cold.” Said the clerk sagely.

“I hab had a lot of chicken soup lately. It doesn’t seeb to be helping.” Jacob sniffled. His eyes were watering, making it difficult to read any of the labels on the bottles.

“Perhaps you have more than just a cold.” Suggested Pestilence.

“He won’t go to the doctor.” scolded Rachel. She handed Jacob a fresh kleenex as he wrinkled up his nose.

“I don’b see da point.” Jacob took the offered kleenex and sneezed.

“Maybe some flu relief?” Suggested the clerk.

“I would suggest a hot mist vaporizer if they have any.” Pestilence added.

“That’s probably a good idea.” Replied Rachel. She glanced at Pestilence. “And more Kleenex.”

“Right away, next aisle.” The clerk led Rachel around the corner leaving Jacob alone with the reedy man. Today Pestilence seemed to have scaling on the back of his arms.

“Whab brings you here?” Asked Jacob, trying to be nonchalant.

“My wife has a headache and we’re out of Tylenol. She swears by the stuff, though it really isn’t good for the liver.” Pestilence shrugged. “I can’t convince her to try celery juice. It’s the oldest remedy known to man.”

“I really works?”

“Yep. But what can a man do? Wife is always right.”

“Really?”

“You speak like a man who has never been married. Take it from me. The wife is always right.” He picked up a bottle of Tylenol. “I should know, I've been married a long time. And I intend to stay married for a long time to come. So Tylenol it is. See ya round. I gotta get this home.”

Jacob absently swatted away a fly and watched as the man made his way to the cash register.

“Are you coming, or were you going to hang out in the pain relief aisle for the afternoon?” Her eyes focused on the apocalyptic rider checking, Rachel spoke in a hushed tone. “We’ve got work to do.”

Her urgency surprised Jacob and he moved, albeit slowly to register. Pestilence was down the street by the time the cashier was scanning their items. Absently he paid for the purchases and followed Rachel to the campus cafe. Two cups of tea later, he was seated across the table from her in the farthest corner of the establishment. He took the two tablets she foisted onto him before he spoke. “What is this all about?”

“What the hell are you doing?” Rachel demanded.

“Doing? I’ve been under the weather, if you hadn’t noticed.” Jacob wiped his nose and took a drink of tea.

“Is that your excuse?”

“I get it, you’re mad because I left you to set up the lab.” Jacob blew his nose. “Name your price. I’ll sign for your pay to be retroactive.”

“I’m not talking about the lab! I’m talking about the end of the world!”

“Oh, that. I take it Alex tolb you.”

“He did, last night. He said you were working on something.” Her eyes narrowed. “But you’re not working on anything, are you?”

“I’ve been researching.”

“You’ve been laying on your couch wallowing in self pity.”

“That’s not fair.” Jacob said defensively. “I’ve been sick.”

“I believe updates are in order. You’re going to be dead if you don’t start doing something pretty quick. We all will be.”

“Why don’t you just ride off into the sunbset wid your new boyfriend.” Jacob helped himself to a new kleenex from the bag on the table.

“Are you jealous?” Rachel said incredulously. “You know we were never an item.”

“I’b not jealous.” Jacob quickly caught a drip from his nose. “It was just a suggestion.”

“For your information, that scenario isn’t an option. Especially if there is no sunset to ride off into.”

“What exactly do you want me to do?”

Rachel pressed her lips together. “Find. Something. To. Stop. The. End. Of. The. World.”

“Great, I’ll google it and get back to you dis afternoon.”

“You are the foremost authority on end of times events.” Jacob laughed, but Rachel caught his wrist. “I’m serious. You’re the one that found that document and put everything into motion.”

Jacob sobered and shook his head. “I just found a document. I didn’t even know what it really was, so how could I be responsible for starting the end of the world.”

“You made it public.”

Jacob blinked. Several thoughts tried to form themselves into sentences, but failed. “What?”

“The end of the world wouldn’t have been put in motion if you hadn’t made that document public.”

“You’re serious.” Jacob caught a nose drip just before it hit the table.

“Why else would I be talking to you?”

“What you’ve just said makes no sense.”

Rachel threw her head back. “I knew it. You’re an idiot.”

“There is no need for name calling.”

“When Alex came to me last night, he was pretty upset. He seemed to think you were blowing him off.”

“He is expecting me to do the impossible.”

Rachel folded her arms. “No, he is asking you to do your job.”

“He wants me to stop the armageddon.”

“Noooo, he wants you to find documentation so he can stop it. All he needs is the documentation.”

“Tell him to find it himself.”

“He’s the son of WAR. His family would kill him if he started digging around.”

“You look for it then.” Jacob said sullenly. He thought he could feel the congestion easing, but in its place, sleepiness was taking over.

“I am his girlfriend.”

Jacob didn’t know the significance of this statement. “So?”

“So I’m being watched.” Rachel blew out an exasperated breath. “Besides, I am not the respected expert. I have no credentials.”

“Why would that make any difference?”

“It does.” Rachel said firmly. “It is one of the reasons that the document you found was able to put everything in motion.”

Jacob was dubious. “I don’t know if such documentation even exists.”

“You’re not going to find it sipping tea in the cafeteria.”

Jacob looked down at his lap. “My laptop’s broken. It fell off the table the other day.”

Rachel smiled sweetly, sending a chill down Jacob’s spine. “I suggest you requisition one then, otherwise you might not live to see the end of times.”