Boomerang Of Happiness - 3

Next day, Anna was waiting for Alex at the cafeteria to return five kopeks. He at first refused it, but she insisted and said it was a matter of principle for her, as if it was not five kopeks but five hundred rubles. So he reluctantly took the coin and just as reluctantly agreed to sit at lunch with her again. Like the first time, she chatted away all her lunchtime at him, and he pretended to listen.

After the third or fourth time a shared lunch became a habitual thing for both of them. Anna would come to the cafeteria a little earlier than Alex and get a spot in line for him, proudly telling everyone that Alex would be joining her for lunch. Then she would find an empty table and tell everyone that she reserved it for Alex as well. No one seemed to mind: people respected the genius engineer and when Alex and Anna sat together for lunch, no one would even try to join them. We will never know if it was because people respected their relationship and wanted to give them some space or just avoided Anna’s talking. But everyone at the station would give each other puzzled looks and ask, “Alex and Anna, what the hell is going on? Are they together?”

No one knew. Even Anna, who was hoping that their lunches would eventually grow into something bigger, was at a loss after a couple of weeks. She was waiting for Alex to make a first move, because he was a man and she was an old-fashioned girl, properly and strictly brought up by her parents. However, Anna was also concerned that Alex never indicated if her presence was pleasant or unpleasant to him. But since he never showed his attitude to her one way or another, Anna thought Alex at least liked her. She decided that she’d take everything into her own hands and will just push him a little in the right direction.

Once she stage-bumped into Alex after work when he stayed in his office longer than usual. As it was already dark outside Alex offered to walk Anna home, and she thought that was the sign she needed. It was a cold February evening, and Alex was shivering in his light coat, but Anna did not seem to notice. She was excitedly chatting all the way home about movies and how much she loved French and Italian cinema. Alex tuned in into this monologue because he loved European movies as well. Sharing his impressions with her, he suddenly realized that Anna had some intellectual depth: she was talking about movies like a good critic would. He was so glad to discuss something with her that turned out to be a shared interest that his eyes lit up with a spark and excitement he did not have for a long time. Not since Irina’s disappearance.

After that walk, Anna started to wait for Alex after work on a regular basis. He chimed into her talks more often and from her stories, fables and attitudes realized she was kind and generous. Once he even asked one of his colleagues what he thought of Anna. The colleague was surprised that Alex asked such a personal question but then thought a little and said, “There’s not a single evil bone in her body. She is always helpful, always ready to share whatever she has with others. But oh God, how can anyone talk so much?”

Alex didn’t seem to mind her talking, though. He learned how to tune in and out of her chatter so that she did not feel offended and he could show interest. He often thought of Anna as radio working in the background, buzzing with all sorts of things that sometimes may be useful and informative. Once Alex noticed that on those rare occasions when she was not waiting for him to share lunch or walk her home in the evening he actually missed her. But Alex was not ready yet to court anyone. Even the idea of dating other women seemed like betrayal of Irina to him. So he just thought of Anna as a friend.

Anna, however, was persistent and patient. Spending time with Alex, she realized one thing: the endless sadness in his eyes was a sign he needed help. She did not really think he was depressed because at that time in the Soviet Union no one thought of depression as an illness, it was rather a luxury of the rich and entitled, sons of the apparatchiks. Anna’s father was one of the Communist Party officials at the station, so she knew some of the spoiled brats of her father’s “colleagues” who dreamed of easy diplomatic jobs in far-away countries. When something did not work their way, they would fall into a show-off depression, spleen, as they called it, which was quite fashionable among young people of their standing. Alex was not one of them, not even close. But Anna’s sharp female instinct prompted her that something was eating him from inside and she, Anna, was the one to get Alex out of this state. So she promised herself she’d do everything she could to make him happy and happily married to her.

Once on a Friday in late March Anna offered Alex to go to the movies together. He had nothing to do that evening, so he agreed. They decided to watch “Ladies’ Tailor,” a drama about the last day and night of the life of a Jewish family from Kiev, executed by Nazis in the fall of 1941, with the great Innokentiy Smoktunovskiy in the leading male role. They were sitting in the theater, watching a heart-breaking story of a family that knew something terrible would happen to them, still finding hope and love for each other through the horror of the inevitable.

At the most dramatic point of the movie Alex felt a tight squeeze on his left hand. He stole a brief look at Anna: she was as tense as a taut string, squeezing his hand so tight the knuckles on her hand became white, and tears were streaming down her cheeks. Alex was struck by how beautiful she was at that moment, the moment of profound sadness and empathy she felt for the mother and her children in the movie. He felt something stirring up in his chest, and a warm wave rising from his stomach to his throat choked him up. Alex cleared his throat and tenderly stroke Anna’s hand with his right hand. She looked at him gratefully, quickly pulled her hand away and wiped her tears.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have been so emotional,” Anna said after the movie as they walked back home, still mostly silent under the impression.

“It’s all right, it’s a very sad story, and I understand it is based on real events,” Alex said. “I chocked up a little, too.”

“Did you really?” she asked, and without waiting for him to answer, started her long talk about the movie and how it made her feel.

“But oh God, how can anyone talk so much?” Alex remembered his colleague’s remark, trying to concentrate on the image of Anna crying in the movie theater instead. For some reason, he thought it was important to remember that vulnerable Anna in detail. For future reference…

More time passed, and their relationship didn’t go anywhere beyond lunches and evening walks. Even though their evening walks were becoming more enjoyable as the spring weather warmed up a little and the days were becoming longer, Anna wanted more. Once on a Friday before the long May 1 weekend, Anna invited Alex to join her on a short trip to Novosibirsk for a European film festival. Alex agreed with no hesitation, but then Anna said, “I have some friends in Novosibirsk at whose place we could stay overnight.”

“Why do we need to stay there overnight?” Alex asked apprehensively.

“Because the festival is two days, Saturday and Sunday,” Anna said.

“Well, we can still return here for the night,” Alex said. “It’s just a one-hour trip by bus.”

“But the most interesting films are always late in the evening and at night. I wouldn’t want to miss them, and there will be no busses running back here that late,” Anna said innocently. He agreed with her reasoning.

They went to the festival together, both in great anticipation. Alex was excited to see the new European films on a big screen and Anna was hoping that something would come out of their time spent together. Anna deliberately didn’t tell Alex before they got to Novosibirsk that her friends would be out of town for the weekend, so he was surprised to have found out they’d be staying in the two-room apartment alone. As a true gentleman, he offered her to sleep in the bedroom while he took a couch in the living room. Anna’s sharp feminine flair prevented her from hinting she wouldn’t mind sleeping in one bed together, and Alex was still too thick-skinned to register her disappointment. His true purpose of the trip was the festival, and he was oblivious to everything else.

During the festival, they watched all the Italian, French and Swedish films on the program and then discussed them at length, finding great pleasure in sharing this passion with each other. In the movie theater, Anna would rest her head on Alex’s shoulder, and he didn’t mind. But neither would he reciprocate in any way, either by holding her hand or hugging her as she hoped. So she was still at a loss as to why he was making no moves or showed no interest in her as a woman. And he was sure, even though he’d never told her that directly, that she understood he treated her as a friend, as a pal. He was still not ready to date, and he thought Anna had guessed that.

To Part 4

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