Beyond the Glass

"Can you hear me? Juvick ma? Juvick ma?" Frantic voices above me.

"Reyna, juvick? Juvick ma, Reyna?" I hear it again.

I do hear you, I thought. I couldn't speak. Constant beeping. So many voices. Noise coming from every direction. My head is pounding.

"Reyna, I have your family here. Would you like to see them?" The voice says, growing louder each time.

I widen my eyes towards him, begging him to let them in. My voice won't work. I lift my hand, watching as my fingers shake coming out from under the blankets.

"Yes?" He says, "Are you sure?"

Mustering every bit of strength in my hand I place it on his, my eyes widen with plea. I blink out tears. "Yes" I whispered, but it never left my lips. "Bring them to me!" I begged, but it did not come out.

He squeezes my hand, "I'll bring them in. If you feel overwhelmed or it's too much for you, just squeeze my hand like this okay?"

I blinked again. He understood. "Reyna," He continued, "it's been many years, they may look a little different than you remember, but they are so happy you're here."

I blink again at him, acknowledging his statement. He walks out of the room. I swallow the burning lump in my throat. All I want to do is see my sister Asha, and tell her how sorry I am.

The first face I see come through the doorway is my mother's. She is as beautiful as I remember. Her pale skin has aged, but with grace. Her white hair falls gently down over her shoulders and moves with her every step. I am mesmerized. How I have missed my mother, her warmth, and sweet touch.

She begins to weep, looking at me knowing I am not the same girl she lost many years ago. I can see the grief swell in her eyes. She can hardly say more than I can. I watch as she collapses into me, unable to move my body or hold her back. "Mamma" I whisper, she does not hear me.

Engulfed in her perfect scent and long hair, I hardly notice the rest of my family trail in behind her. One by one I feel hands placed upon me. My father's hand is dark, rugged looking. I recognize it. He has scars on his fingers. I begin to cry.

"It's okay. It's okay. Jeverick sha kess. We are here now." It's my sister's voice. More tears swell up my eyes, causing my vision to blur over. "I love you" She cries, "I'm so sorry."

I pull my hand away from the white coat man who was still holding me, and reach out for my sister. I cannot find her. My sister grasps my hand; I can feel her cold skin and she holds me tightly. I continue weeping as she lays down beside me. We cry together, as a family.

"We will never lose you again. I am so sorry. Heshnia Reyna, Heshnia. I am regretful." Asha tells me. She doesn't know it is not her fault. It is mine.

The white coat man coughs, "Okay, I need to take Reyna to Helena now. She must recount her story. You can see her again soon."

Please don't take them away, I thought. The white coat man shuffles my parents and sister out of the room. They are crying, I can still hear each one of them. How could he take them from me? I surely cannot recount my story, I cannot merely speak! Jeshueah! I beg God; Jeshueah please bring my voice back! Please bring my family back.

"Reyna, can you hear me? Juvick ma? We are going to see Helena the detective, okay?" He begins to lift me. My body is weak, bending to his movements. "It will be just fine, young girl." I begin to shut my eyes and we leave the room.

Moments later I am woken, "Hello beautiful girl, I am happy to see you!" A soft voice tells me. "I hear you've had a long journey home."

I am placed on a soft bed, piled with too many pillows for one's own liking. I look around. The room smells of cinnamon, and late autumn. Soothing. The bed forms around me like a cocoon.

"Are you alright my dear? A hot tea, you would like?" The kind lady asks me, already clinking the teacup down beside me. "It's cinnamon." She says. I could have guessed. "So, can you speak young one?"

I blink at her, mustering the word no through eye contact.

"Well drink up then! Soon enough your voice will come back. I will stay with you until then, yes?" She confirms while enwrapping me in another blanket. "Does that feel good? I hung it over the fire to warm for you." It did indeed feel pleasant. I nodded.

"Drink tea. Rest." Helena commands. When you arise, we try again."

Rest sounded good, but I missed my family. I thought about my sweet sister, she was older than I and shamed herself for not watching over me close enough. Her eyes hold not only grief in them, but guilt and blame. How I wish to wash it clean. The blanket wrapped around me slowly begins to cool. My eyelids feel heavy.

***

I must have slept a long time, waking up I'm seeing the sunrise push through the foggy valley. I look around the room, I'm alone. Everything is quiet. I slip off the top layer of blankets, and stand up. Dizzy, I move towards the door anyways. It's locked.

"Hello, is any-" I muttered just barely under my breathe. My voice is coming back. "Anyone here? Please let me out!"

Nothing. I tug harder. No budge.

"Hello? Anyone here? Heckla Miheso?" I call out, with no return. I start to cry, "Mamma! Mamma, juvick ma?" My calls go unanswered. I start to panic falling to the floor. I press my knees into my chest and rock back and fourth. "Mamma! Mamma!"

Visions of being taken flood before my eyes. I am enwrapped in agonizing memories. I thrust my hands to my head, begging it to stop. The flashbacks keep coming. I thrust back and fourth, shaking on the ground.

My mind is overwhelmed with faces. All the children I left behind. Haunted by my thoughts, I remember all the little faces begging me to take them with me. I couldn't. I'll come back for you I told myself, I'll send help.

Deep into the trauma, panicking on the floor of the hospital, my racing thoughts were interrupted by a swinging door and concerned nurse.

"Oh my! Young girl, please, you need to be in bed!" She spoke rapidly, "I will go get Helena, she is waiting for you to awake. Please, let's go now, back to bed." She carried my body back to the stack of blankets on the bed and placed me down. "I will be right back, okay dear?" I noticed her name tag, Myrielle, pretty I thought.

Myrielle quickly shuffles out of the room. The door locks again behind her. My tea cup still full sitting on the table beside me, I take a small sip. Cold, but refreshing. I tug one of the blankets loose from the pile and wrap it around my shoulders, attempting to slow the shakes.

The lock turns. It's Helena. "My dear, so glad to see you're awake, how are you feeling?" she questions me.

"Hungry." I whisper. She laughs and nods, as though she expected that answer.

"Yes, I have food being brought up to you shortly. How is your voice?" She continues to question while sitting down on a chair across from me.

"Where's my family?" The only three words I had in me.

"Your family is here Reyna, we just need to talk first okay? You understand?" She enforces. "I don't want them to cloud your memory before we discuss."

I tighten the blanket around myself, I knew they would want me to talk, and I must to save the others, but now it feels so hard. All I want to do is forget. To be with my family again.

It's bigger than me, I remind myself. The mission is more important than my peace. The children are worth more than my silence.

My mind flashes Ajuli's face, a small girl taken two days before I was. As sweet as my sister, as beautiful as my mother, she became my family while behind the glass. I decided, I would tell my story for her.

Helena clears her voice, bringing me back into the room with her. "Reyna, your parents say you were with them in the city aquarium, yes? Your mom says Asha took you to the stingray exhibit while they had lunch. She says, Asha came back without you. Does this all sound right to you?"

I slowly nod, I can feel tears burning my eyes and blink them out. "Yes. I left Asha. It's not her fault." I cry more, beginning to sob. "I'm so sorry."

"Mi gere, my dear, this is not your fault. Understand? And it's certainly not Asha's fault either. Now tell me what happened when you went to that exhibit." She stares at me waiting for an answer to write down in her book.

"A boy," I mutter, "I met a boy. Carsten, was his name. He was standing beside me at the exhibit. He was even younger than me." I explain.

"Younger?" She asks surprised, "Reyna you were only seven when this happened."

"Yes. He was a young boy. He said his dad owned the entire aquarium and had a secret exhibit no one else could see yet." I continue, "He told me I could have a look, but I couldn't tell anyone. I lied to Asha, I said I was going to find a washroom and come right back. She insisted she come with me, but I refused. I said she should stop treating me like a child. I told her I didn't need her to watch me, and demanded that she leave me alone. She was hurt, only doing her best to be a good big sister. But I pushed her away."

Sobbing, barely able to breathe, I continue to tell my story, "Once I broke free from Asha's watch, I took off with Carsten to check out the secret room. I was so excited. Finally free from a babysitter, with my new friend, about to see a new exhibit before the rest of our city does. I felt so lucky; at seven years old the aquarium was my favorite place to be, and hearing of a new room was riveting." I explain to Helena as she changes from writing in her book to sending messages on her phone.

"Once we rounded a corner behind the stingray exhibit there was two doors, one said "Private" and Carsten scanned his badge allowing it to swing open. There was nothing in there really, just a few desks and chairs. I was confused. This way he kept saying, leading me through multiple locked doors. Finally, we arrive at a red door. This is it, I'm thinking. He once again scans his badge, and opens the door."

"And then what happens?" Helena says, breaking from taking notes. I look down. Scratching the inside of my palm with my finger nails. My eyes begin to swell again, I blink more tears. "It's okay mi gere," She insists speaking in Jakuri, "it's okay." She reaches for my hand and squeeze's it gently.

Helena's hand is warm, and soft. It resembles my mother's, so I don't mind. "Well, there was no exhibit." I tell her the truth, "But there was a lot of children."

***

The entire room was dark red, I remember. With glass windows displaying the aquarium. It was the kind of glass you find at a police station, where the cops can see you, but you can't see them. I look at Helena, her eyes eager for me to continue. She is quite a beautiful woman, not too young but youthful in her face. Her brown hair is soft, falling against her cheeks.

"Rhe jocetish jeve em," I say under my breathe, "we could see them."

"Who?" Helena asks, "Who could you see?" Her eyes widen awaiting my every response.

I take a deep breathe, "Our parents."

Some of our parents didn't even know we were missing. We watched through the window as they pointed out the sea creatures to our younger siblings. I scanned the room instantly upon walking in, witnessing dozens of children screaming and banging on the glass, screeching down the walls with their nails. Crying and sobbing, having complete meltdowns. A rare few, doing nothing at all. Staring out the glass like heaven was beyond it.

"What is this place?" I anxiously mutter to Carsten.

He grins, "Your new home!"

The door slams shut behind us. I swing around and reach for it, tugging as hard as I could. Locked. Carsten laughs. I run towards the glass, pounding my hands on it, not yet realizing no one on the outside could hear or see me. Any of us for that matter.

Trapped. On the inside of the glass. Brutally watching as our parents on the outside of the glass wander through the displays, and then eventually, running through the displays, yelling and screaming our names. Searching every inch of the building, for their children.

While we watched.

The most excruciating moment behind the glass, was the moment Asha walked by. She was with my mother, both panicked I could see my sister was crying. I yelled her name, my hand on the glass between us.

"Asha! I am here!" I wail to my protective older sister.

She hears nothing. She continues to crumble in my mother's arms. I feel her pain. I watch as she continuously mouths the words I'm sorry to my mother. I cringe every time; I walked away from her, begged her to leave me alone. Now she holds the guilt of my disappearance. Older by only a year, yet weighted down by the responsibility of me. I cry out to her.

My heart starts to beat faster: they're leaving. I scream out to them. They seem to be in a rush. Then I see my father walk by shortly behind them, he walks right through and suddenly all three of them are gone. Vanished from my sight. For the next six years, I would not see my family.

For the next six years I would not see the outside of the glass.

***

Helena sitting impatiently now, stands up. "Do you want to take a break my love? I know this is tough to talk about."

The truth is, she didn't know it was hard to talk about. She has no idea what the last six years of my life were like. She may be a cop, a good one at that, but she wasn't behind the glass.

"No," I tell her, "I'm done with my story. I need you to go back for the rest of them."

"We're working on the case Reyna, we are, best team in the whole city. But I still need you to tell me what happened in there."

I winced. Shutters of pain shot through my body. I didn't want to tell her the rest. My mind spun through memories, stabbing me with each one.

"He wasn't a good man." I finally let out.

"Who?" Helena asks, "Who wasn't a good man?"

His black hair and cold face race through my mind. I shiver. "He never told us his name, he just said he was the owner, and now that we were his exhibit, he owned us too."

I go on, "Please rescue them. Save Ajuli. Save all of them. There are small children in there. There are teenagers too. They're trapped. Why hasn't anyone searched the whole building yet?"

"Ajuli, I know that name. Is she okay?" Helena asks me looking sad.

"She knows I will come back for her." All that I could say, I knew truthfully though, Ajuli wasn't okay. The owner hurt all of us. He took a special liking to her.

Helena crosses her legs and releases my hand, "You know, that young boy you met, he went back to your sister after he left you in the red room. He told Asha that you both had went outside and that someone in a blue car picked you up. After your parents got the news from your sister they went to the police station and started searching the streets. But they could never find you. Carsten was questioned numerous times by police, but his story always lined up."

"He was trained." I utter assertively. "I trusted him, and he lied to me."

I thought back to the little boy I once was excited to ditch my sister for. He was small and unsuspecting. Through the years he brought more and more children in. He grew mean like his dad, who always told him he would be the owner one day. He liked that. Fed off his father's approval of him.

Suddenly, Helena's phone goes off. She denies it. It goes off again, ringing loudly in my ears. She looks at me apologetically.

"Sorry Reyna, it's my supervisor. I'll be two minutes, okay?" She gets up from her chair and walks to the corner of the room.

I wrap another blanket around myself. The room is cool now, and my eyelids feel heavy. I think about my family, how I long to be in their presence again. I wonder how it will feel to go home. To be free. I wonder if I will ever feel okay again.

Helena turns around to face me, sliding her phone down slowly. "My dear, we found them. We found them, and they are coming home."