Best Roommate Ever

Her finger hovered over the icon to accept his call, a soft green glow against her skin. I gritted my teeth as she gave me the “please don’t hate me” look and tapped the screen.

“Hello?” Gina held the phone to her ear, worrying the thumbnail of her other hand. A few moments went by, and she shifted her eyes to the ceiling, trying to hold in her tears.

I crossed my arms over my chest, glaring the “I told you so” look at her, but Gina studiously avoided my gaze.

“Mmmhmm. It’s okay.” She was doing remarkably well keeping her voice steady, considering the number of tears on her cheeks. “Yeah, no. It’s fine. I’ll see you tonight then?”

I wondered if Gina could hear the desperation in her voice the way I could. It made me both mad and feel sorry for her at the same time. This had been going on for months. I was at my wit’s end watching him break her heart again and again.

Per his usual, Zach must have been elusive with his answer because Gina responded with, “Well, call me when you’re free. I’ll be up late.” She paused to listen to him, then said, “Okay. Well, you just said we’d spend today together, is all, so I didn’t plan anything else.”

At that, I could hear Zach yelling from his end of the conversation, but I couldn’t make out the actual words. It took everything in me not to rip the phone from Gina’s hand and give that douchebag a piece of my mind. But I knew that would upset Gina, so I held my tongue and clenched my fists, trying to keep my impulses in check.

“You’re right. I’m sorry.” Gina’s face crumpled as she covered her mouth with her hand, stifling the sobs. “Okay. I’ll talk to you later, I guess?” She closed her eyes. “Bye.”

Clutching the phone to her chest, Gina dashed toward her bedroom before I could say anything, and instead of following, I just watched her leave. While I had been right that Zach wasn’t sorry for backing out of their plans and that he’d clearly found a way to make Gina feel like she’d misunderstood his intentions in the first place, now was not the time to rub it in.

Their whole relationship made no sense to me. I would never have put up with Zach’s crap for this long. He was a narcissist. This scenario seemed to happen at least three times a week – Zach would promise to do something with her, Gina would be all excited, then he’d stand her up. Even his excuses were the same. The only differences were the lengths of time it took for Zach to respond to Gina’s texts and phone calls, wondering why he hadn’t shown up. Today’s interim was three hours.

Grabbing a tub of chocolate ice cream from the fridge and a spoon, I knocked on Gina’s door. “Can I come in?”

I could hear her sniffles from the other side, but she didn’t answer. Tentatively, I turned the knob. “Hey, I brought a peace offering.” I jutted the ice cream through the crack in the door and waved it like a white flag.

The bed squeaked, then the tub of ice cream was taken from my hand. “Fine, come in.”

I eased the door open and stepped over the piles of clean clothes still stacked in even piles on Gina’s floor to sit on the edge of her bed. Gina’s brow furrowed over her puffy lids as she held her hand out for the spoon. I passed it over.

She removed the lid, set it on her nightstand, and rearranged herself against the white wooden headboard before digging in.

I traced the winding vines that connected the big pink roses on her bedspread. “Can I ask you something?”

Gina’s shoulders sank and she dropped the spoon in the carton, resting it on her crisscrossed ankles. “I can’t take one of your lectures right now, Alyssa.”

I winced, knowing I hadn’t always been very tactful when pointing out the flaws in her relationships. “It’s not a lecture, I promise. Just a question.”

She held up her hand in a “proceed” gesture.

I took a deep breath, choosing my words carefully. “Well, I was wondering, why are you let Zach get to you like this? I mean, he’s not even your boyfriend. You’re barely even dating.”

Gina stabbed at the ice cream as if it had personally offended her. “It’s just…” Gina closed her eyes and pressed a hand to her temple. After a shuddering breath, she tried again and it all came tumbling out in a rush. “The truth is, I don’t know. I mean, I know Zach’s being manipulative and that I’m being stupid, but I can’t seem to stop myself. It’s like an addiction.”

I nodded. It made sense what Gina was saying. And it coincided with what I saw in her behavior. “Well, then if he’s an addiction, we need to come up with a recovery plan.” I pulled my phone out of my back pocket and Googled “Steps to beating an addiction.” The entries mostly talked about alcoholism and smoking, but I figured the steps might work the same.

Scooting over so Gina could see my screen, I clicked on one of the results. “Here, step one is admission.” I leaned back, giving her an encouraging smile. “Look, you’ve already admitted that, so should we move on to step two?”

Gina set the ice cream on its lid and wiped her face. “Yes, what’s next?”

I checked the website. “It says to list the pros and cons of the addiction.” I glanced around and spotted a stack of post-it notes on Gina’s desk across the room. After retrieving them, along with a pen, I divided the top sheet into halves and raised my eyebrows at my roommate, waiting for her to begin.

She tapped her lips with her finger. “Well, other than the fact that he’s a good kisser and nice to look at, I’m not sure there are any real pros.”

She was right on the last count. Zach was a hottie with is light brown skin, well-trimmed curly black hair, and green eyes. I totally understood her attraction to him.

“Okay, then let’s list the cons.” I began writing before Gina could speak up, but she simply nodded along with my points – he lies, doesn’t keep promises, isn’t shy about putting Gina down, flirts with other girls in front of Gina. I looked up at her. “Am I forgetting something?”

She took the pad and pen from my hands and wrote another entry, “Makes Gina feel like crap.”

I nabbed the pen and put stars around her words. “That should have been con number one.”

Gina looked at the list with a sigh. “This makes me look pathetic.”

I rubbed my hand on her back. “No, no. You’re not pathetic. You’ve just made a bad choice in men. See?” I held my phone up to show her step three. “It says to list the reason why you engage in the addictive behavior.” I took back the post-its. “Why do you keep going back to Zach? Is it the kissing? The idea of being able to get such a hot guy?”

Gina’s eyes tightened as she thought about it, and I didn’t push for an answer, figuring she would talk when she was ready. After another minute, she spoke, staring at her hands. “Part of it was for the attention. Zach is the hottest guy I’ve ever seen, and when he first hit on me, I couldn’t believe it. It felt like a dream.”

“And now?” I prodded.

“Now, it’s a nightmare. I keep hoping he’ll go back to being like he was that first night. He made me feel like I was the whole reason he’d come to that bar – to meet me. But…” She trailed off and wiped her eyes.

“But what?”

“But when I told him I wouldn’t go home with him that night, everything changed.”

Anger boiled in my chest. “You mean he lost interest when you turned him down?”

Gina nodded.

The expletives that ran through my mind to describe Zach’s abhorrent behavior were threatening to explode from my mouth, but I held them in, for Gina’s sake. Instead, I tried to refocus on the next step.

“Well, the website says to focus on introducing new patterns to help you steer clear of situations that can lead you to fall back into old patterns. So, first thing’s first.” I looked around her person. “Where’s your phone?”

Gina pulled it from behind her. I took it from her and held it up to her face to unlock the screen.

“What are you going to do?” She asked, her expression like a lost little girl.

I went to her recent call list. “I’m going to block Zach.”

Gina lunged at my hands, but I pulled away and stood up, making her faceplant onto her mattress.

“Step five says to stay committed.” I held my finger over the red words ‘block caller.’ “Are you committed to getting better?”

Gina stared at me, her lips pursed with a crease in her brow. After what felt like a long minute, she finally nodded.

“Done.”

Warmth swelled in my chest as I handed her back her phone. “I’m proud of you.”

Gina looked up at me with new tears in her eyes. “Thanks, Alyssa.”

“And remember, you won’t have to do this alone. I can be your permanent wingman.”

She stood and wrapped me in her arms. “You’re the best roommate ever.”

The sound of a car horn outside our apartment startled us both. Gina released me and ran to the window. Her hand flew to her mouth as she turned to face me, her eyes round and wide.

My heart sank in my chest as Gina ran from her room, grabbing her purse on the way out and mouthing “sorry” as she sprinted out the front door.

As I watched Gina get into Zach’s car, I mentally prepared myself to do this again tomorrow, and next day, and the next – as long as it would take for Gina to realize she deserved more – because that’s what big sisters do.