Bed Time Story; The Great Goat Trainers!

I am Jed. I live in a small town tucked away in a small state with a lot of woods. My family is primarily immigrants from Ireland that came here during the potato famine, although I did have an aunt that couldn't make up her mind, so she was known for going back and forth on numerous trips. My Grandfather spoke of her being the quirky one. He says she's like my Aunt Lorraine. Or Aunt Lorraine is like her, I should say.

My Aunt Lorraine is plump, only slightly overweight (we never say that; I mean in her presence,) funny. She is my mother's only sister, a shorter version of my mother with a better sense of humor and fewer teeth. My Grandpa raised a family all by himself. He never told us what happened to my Grandmother. Tensions flare up just at the mention of her name, so everyone becomes uncomfortable when she's brought up. So to keep hands from going over my mouth, I don't mention her name.

Grandpa, however, raised Momma (Betty Faye), Aunt Lorraine, Carl, and Earl. Momma had me; my father is one of those hush-hush things, too. He left Momma when I was a baby. My Aunt Lorraine, however, threw her husband out. She grabbed her children, Mabel, Emma Jean, and Gene, and moved in with us here at Grandpa's house on the farm.

Life on the farm is busy, noisy and sometimes there is far too much to do. Grandpa is teaching me how to be a man. He says, "I am going to teach you how to ride the tractor." Momma says, "Over my dead body." Grandpa is one of those short men that thinks he's six feet tall. The Tractor is green, and about Seven feet tall only runs when Grandpa tinkers with it, and then it smokes seems dangerous, but Grandpa loves it.

He tries to do everything, and, most of the time, he succeeds. I heard the neighbors say, "He has short man syndrome." I was afraid for a month it was contagious, and I wouldn't let him touch me. Once we got that sorted out, Grandpa started to show me how to deal with the Goats. He let me play with the little one first. I called him George. He was my bud, or so I thought. The goat had other plans.

We would play after school. I noticed the goat was growing extremely fast. George grew faster than I did, so I asked one day, "Grandpa, why is George growing faster than I am?" Grandpa stuttered a bit and said that because he is a goat son, goats grow super fast and get super strong. I sounded like "Super Man?" He murmured, "Yeah, like that," quickly answering to shut me up.

George and I were outside one day, he bleating and bouncing off everything. I was amazed he had so much energy. Off in the bushes, there was rustling tiny at first, then it became more prominent but suddenly stopped. George stopped bouncing, all the animals on the farm stopped as if they were catching their breath.

Grandpa comes out of the house and onto the porch. He sits down in his favorite spot and notices how quiet things are, "Son, what's going on?" He shouts! I answer, "I don't know, Grandpa, there was a rustling over there, and everything got quiet." He jumps to his feet and immediately scampers to George and me. "You two come this way." as we move toward the house, something takes off up the hill. Grandpa and I stand there in amazement, "What was that, Grandpa?" He answers reluctantly, "I have no idea, son." We dashed into the house. Grandpa put George in the kitchen. Momma screamed, "What are you doing! You can't leave him in the kitchen with me!" He shouts, "No time to explain something is in the yard; keep the kid in the house." Momma, perplexed, says, "Which one." Grandpa says, "Both of them!"

Out the door, he dashes. Moments later, he returns, sitting down on the couch, exhausted. Momma walks into the living room. George bounces around to the sofa. Momma asks, "What was it?" Grandpa responds, "I don't know, but I found tiny footprints." Momma says, "footprints? Daddy, are you messing with my mind?" Aunt Lorraine pops around the corner and says, "Daddy wouldn't do that now, would you?" Grandpa's face began to get red. Both of his daughters knew they were going a little too far.

"I don't know what it was." This time his daughters knew he wasn't joking. A few months go by, and the event is soon forgotten. George is now full-sized. My friend Lou Zypher had been planning on making our circus. We were going to show the kids at school what we could do. Only George would have to suffice as our elephant, rhino, and confused unicorn. We make our tent in the yard.

Momma is pruning her flower beds, getting rid of some weeds, talking to herself, and at times singing. Lou is on the inside of the Tent, George tending to love jumping up on things waiting for my entrance. That's when Momma's behind pushes against the tent, and George sees a flat spot. His landing was a nine out ten. Momma launched into the flower bed, screaming; chickens flew out of the backside of bushes panicked. Aunt Lorraine was sitting on the porch watching the whole thing and lost her breath laughing. Grandpa thought she had fallen ill. She was on the porch floor laughing. When the dust leaves and chickens settled, there was Momma, and boy was she mad.

Momma, however, raised herself up, hair unmoved she dusted herself off. She groaned, an indelicate groan, stood up, and said, "That tent is going down. The goat is going in the pen." Lou and I both were defeated. Our dreams of creating a big top were dashed. In that split second, our lives were over just like that done. Lou elbows me and says, "You got a backup plan?" I said hastily, "No, You?" He just looked at me. It was evident he did not. At that moment, however, a strange laugher sound comes from within the woods. As if a small child were in the woods. Lou and I stand there in shock. Momma overhears the laughter, and looks both of us over, and says, "Are you two playing tricks on me?" Blowing sticks out of her hair as she tries to gather her disheveled self together. One look, and she knows it's not us.

She looks to the porch where her sister is gathering herself. She overheard Grandpa saying, "Lorraine, how on earth are we supposed to know if you are ill or not? you can't do that to us." Lorraine sits up, wiping the tears out of her eyes, "Did you see her hit Daddy? That was ten." Grandpa begins to laugh. "Yes, it was a solid nine," as he joins Lorraine in the laughter.

Momma turns her head back to the forest, looking around, "Why would there be something sound like a child laughing in woods?" She questioned aloud. "Surely someone hasn't let their child out this far into the woods unsupervised?" She walked over to the edge of the woods, looking around. "No, there is no way someone would allow a young child this far out into the grove." After consoling herself, she walks up the steps, spotting her sister on the porch making a "V" shape with her fingers, then pointing her fingers at her sister and saying, "I saw that." "You won't know when or how, but gal, you will feel me. You. Will. Feel. Me." Lorraine knowing her sister as does, knew there would be dire consequences for this out breach of etiquette, so she says, "It was worth it! I'll die young and beautiful!" Then the final blow, "You love me!"

Momma never flenched; Mable elbowed me and said, "Did you see that?" The last time Grandpa had to shoot down the balloon had my Momma's teeth tied to it. I looked at Mable. "This is going to be good." The evening wears on, and the sun begins to set. It was time for Lou to head home, which was just one house down, not out of sight. He trudges off down the road. I can see him wave as he enters the door. Dinner time at our house is always an event.

Busy people are doing busy things, Momma and Aunt Lorraine cooking Carl and Earl setting the table. Grandpa was balancing on the stool doing his shaving in the mirror. He didn't feel clean unless he shaved his neck face cheeks. Momma and Lorraine still not entirely over the "Tent event" Lorraine says, "Sis, hop out into the garden and get some lettuce. Oh, wait, you had your fill today, didn't you?" Everyone in the room erupts into laughter, even myself. Momma, not having that, says, "Just shut it." the room falls silent. Muffled laughter continues as adults and children alike try to fight back the laughter. Lorraine then goes there. "You all should have seen how the goat landed. She parked her behind against the tent, and George decided that would be his parking spot. She went face-first into the flower bed." Then burst out into laughter. "Even Daddy thought it was funny."

I looked out the window during the laughter, and there were two reddish glowing eyes not threatening but watching. I sat there watching it, and it blinked. In a flash, it was gone. That night we all lay down. You can hear people still laughing. The floor creaked below my bedroom on the second floor, which means Grandpa was up. I go downstairs to find him looking out the window. "What's the wrong, Grandpa?" Oh, nothing, son, go back to bed. Everything is ok. He urges me back to the stairs, and I work my way back up the stairs.

"I wonder what he saw." I crawl into bed and drift off to sleep. The following day I am awakened by laughter. I souter downstairs as soon as I can, and to my surprise, there is a stuffed teddy bear tied to a string that says, "Next time, it's the goat." I couldn't believe my eyes, but I knew my mother's handwriting, and that was my mother's handwriting. Grandpa was laughing. Lorraine was laughing. I was curious what my mother would do to her sister. Her sister was next on dear mother's hit list. I decided to wait.

Emma and I are close to the same age, whereas Mabel is slightly older and more worldly. Mabel is tall, dark-haired, beautiful, but boy, is she clumsy. We sat around discussing the horror of the hanging teddy. Mabel stands up and almost falls. Grandpa calls her dead-level because she could trip on dead-level ground and fall. It was true, too, two weeks ago, she was walking through the house while Grandpa was shaving (which is always an event if you ask me). She leveled him, knocking him onto the floor with a thud. That's when Aunt Lorraine gave her one powerful scolding for not watching where she was going.

Last week she was grocery shopping with Lorraine at the Wiggly-Piggy, and her feet flew out from under her, and her head lodged under one of the shelves. Mabel came home and showed me a Five Dollar Bill she found while her head was stuck under the shelf. Lorraine said, "I have never been so embarrassed in all my life!" Time passed, and we all forgot the embarrassment except Mrs. Roberts, the town gossip. She could remember stuff from one hundred years ago before everyone was even born. She said, "My family was a strange bunch."

My family is unique for sure. We do things in strange ways and unfamiliar ways. Grandpa says, "One thing we can always be sure of is that everything will change over time." I don't know what that means. I see a lot of people ask Grandpa questions, and he has answers. I want to be like Grandpa. I like it when people like what I think. Now I have to find Lou, we have to rebuild our circus tent, and this time, we will train George to wear an elephant's trunk if I can figure out precisely what that is and how to make one.

In the distance, hundreds of tiny creatures watch the farm with great joy in the grove, others more giant creatures with trepidation. Four furry little brothers scamper about curious full of energy, climbing trees, dashing through bushes, racing to learn one day their lives would all become intertwined in ways no one could ever imagine. "They will all work together to save the world." This prophecy was foretold by Matilda, Queen of the Fairies.

The End.