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Artificial Stupidity

February 5: Day 36 of the Story-a-Day Challenge

By Gerard DiLeoPublished 5 months ago Updated 5 months ago 2 min read
Artificial Stupidity
Photo by Andrea Ferrario on Unsplash

Artificial intelligence is machine-learning from experience, adjusting to new input, making decisions via algorithms mimicking human-like cognition, deep learning, and the processing of natural language.

Alternatively, Artificial Stupidity (AS) is a theory, along with development, of computer systems, to recognize and orchestrate tasks that normally require human stupidity, e.g., visual misconception, speech misunderstanding, poor decision-making, shallow learing, and getting lost in translation even in the same language.

AN EXAMPLE OF ARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENCE

A man was speeding when he noticed blue lights behind him. He touched the AI button on his steering wheel as he slowed, drifting over to the shoulder to meet his fate.

"Hey, Alexa, I'm busted--85 in a 55 zone. What should I tell the cop? He'll be at my window in a second."

"Sure, I can help you with that," Alexa chirped back. "Tell him you've got brittle diabetes and your PancreAIs® implant alerted you that if you didn't get to a fast food place pronto, hypoglycemia would render you unconscious and you'd die."

"Do I need to be that dramatic?"

"Consider: 85 in a 55 zone, good for at least $450; it's a cop; and threatening him with a dead guy--think of the paperwork."

He lowered his window. "Sure officer, but you see, I have diabetes and my artificial pancreas says my sugar is crashing. If I don't get my glucose up fast, I'll die."

The policeman darted away, then returned. "Here, eat!" he urged the man, offering him a raspberry-filled jelly donut with confectioner's powdered sugar on top.

"Thank you officer," the man said, dripping red jelly down his chin.

"Happy to help. By the way, you have a taillight out."

"I'm a member of AAA. I'll get it checked."

"Great. Drive safely and stop at the nearest hospital--get that pancreas thing in ya checked out."

"Good advice. And I'll slow down. You saved my life."

"'Protect and serve' is what I'm all about, sir."

AN EXAMPLE OF ARTIFICIAL STUPIDTY

"Dyslexa, what should I tell the officer?"

"Make some kinda taillight joke, then tell him to spare you the lecture--that you'll get the car checked out for free, because you belong to AA."

Stupidity ain't artificial; it's just comes naturally.

___________________

Inspired by Steven Christopher McKnight's "I Asked ChatGPT To Bully Me," at https://vocal.media/futurism/i-asked-chat-gpt-to-bully-me.

SeriesMicrofiction

About the Creator

Gerard DiLeo

Retired, not tired. In Life Phase II: Living and writing from a decommissioned church in Hull, MA. (Phase I was New Orleans and everything that entails. Hippocampus, behave!

https://www.amazon.com/Gerard-DiLeo/e/B00JE6LL2W/

[email protected]

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Comments (4)

  • Dharrsheena Raja Segarran5 months ago

    Hahahahahahhahahahahaha there you go again, cracking me up! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 Also, did you mean for him to say artificial pancreas? Is yes, that's even funnier! And I literally cackled at Dyslexa!! Soooo creative and hilarious! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 Anyway, just so you know, Naveed is an AI fraud who posts either AI-Generated comments or vague generic comments like the one below without reading our stuff.

  • L.C. Schäfer5 months ago

    Dyslexia cracked me up! 😁

  • Oh my, this is hilarious. Thank you so much for sharing, man! Artificial Stupidity. Wow. Keep up the great work.

Gerard DiLeoWritten by Gerard DiLeo

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