Along Came a Dragon

There weren’t always dragons in the Valley. They usually stayed in their damp caves or dirty caverns, wherever they lived, and kept to themselves. Then Javias Wiseman did one of the most unusual and unforeseen things ever considered. Probably even of the unconsidered. He defeated the dragon that had claimed the Hioso Valley, also known as the Valley.

According to the stories and myths that surround this unprecedented event, citizens of the towns within the kingdom of Irane were subjected to higher and higher taxes to maintain the greedy nature of the giant lizard. Javias had enough of watching his family and townsfolk suffer for the greed of a bully. So, he travelled a long and hard journey to the Jalo Mountains to kill the dragon. Javias entered a cave in the mountains to the north where he found the dragon asleep on his hoard of gold that he had been extorting from the citizens of Irane for hundreds of years. He tricked and dazzled the beast, confusing it and hiding at the right moments, until the lizard was exhausted to the point of death. At which point, Javias took a magical sword, and decapitated the monster, bringing its head to the citizens of Irane, who had promptly mounted the head on a post outside the city walls. Javias was made king of Irane and the citizens of the kingdom enjoyed prosperous, joyous years forever.

Just kidding.

Apparently, some other dragons got word of the antics of Javias and sought to destroy his kingdom. A few dragons were slain. Thousands more non-dragons also died. By this time, Javias had died and his son, Zalric was approaching the end of his reign. With the near end of his race facing him, Zalric decided in his wisdom to open the borders of Irane Kingdom and Capital City to allow citizens from all kingdoms and races to join the fight. This continued for a few hundred years until a new king named Huffberd decided to sit down with the dragon leader and create a treaty. The dragons would stop fighting and eating the townsfolk and the townsfolk would stop poking the dragons with sticks. It seemed rather fair.

Until the dragons started to move into Irane.

Apparently, while going through negotiations, it was discovered by a dragon that King Zalric had opened the borders of the kingdom to all races. King Zalric had also put it in writing and signed it into law. What he failed to do in his wisdom, was exclude certain races. Such as dragons.

They started moving into the capital city first. This angered the citizens, but what could they do? King Javias had made a law preventing new kings from cancelling the laws previously made by the family. King Huffberd could not cancel the law created by King Zalric because of a law created by King Javias.

Then the dragons began to move into the other towns within the borders of the Kingdom. Apparently, during the wars, many of their homes were destroyed. Caves were imploded and caverns were filled in. Everyone was just doing their part to try to help the war effort. Once they began living in the cities, the dragons would transmogrify into a human form to help ease the tension. The magic was faulty, though, and couldn’t cover everything, such as reptilian eyes, forked tongue, or the proportionately large tail coming from behind them.

Hioso Valley is close to my home, Phaja, which is nestled away in the Hodaza Forest, the southeastern portion of Irane Kingdom. We are a coastal hamlet, with barely two hundred people. Most people who came to the Valley during the population boom were old fighters from the Dragon Wars. They couldn’t handle living in Irane or Verdare with the same creatures that they watched eat their friends. No one could really blame them.

Then came people reporting that humans and dragons were mating, producing offspring that looked very much human. I am not quite sure how this works. I have been a herpetologist for several years and cannot make sense of how this would functionally work. I also understand that humans are a bit open with their sexuality, so I guess anything can be possible. Before you know it, there’s going to be stage performances of human women doing sexual acts with dragons in the border towns.

My family has lived here in Phaja for generations before the Dragon Wars. My grandfather was an adventurer in his younger years, but by then, the trade was dying out. He had been born after the conclusion of the Dragon Wars. I remember my grandfather often bemoaning the fact that he had been born in the wrong era. The end of the Dragon Wars pretty much put an end to adventuring. If trolls or giants were to attack the towns or cities, the king would send the army to dispatch the intruder. Then trolls were being arrested for attacking adventurers going to their caves. It became a big mess, because under our laws, everyone arrested is entitled to a trial by jury and an attorney. It was concluded that all the goblins, orc, hobgoblins, trolls, and every other creature that were once considered a menace were here legally thanks to King Zalric’s law. Adventuring was outlawed at that point.

My grandfather had been hoping my father would follow in his footsteps, becoming the hardened archer that he had been in his youth. Grandfather’s adventuring gained him enough profit to buy him the best home in Phaja, and the luxury of all the townsfolk loving him and my grandmother for the entirety of their lives. I believe that everyone was wanting something from him, as he was known to be a very generous and kind man.

My father instead became a plumber. He provided us with a very good life. We had a well-built home in the better part of our hamlet. Both my father and my mother had their own carriages. My brother and I would want for nothing. Grandfather would always make sure that anything our father denied we would have. When I decided that I wanted to be a herpetologist, Grandfather and Father both paid for my education. They also paid for my brother Honric’s trade school education to become an electrician.

Not that I am stuck up or spoiled. I breed various reptiles and trade then in the Valley once a month. I also do reptile education for local schools. Although I do not like the term, I have what has been affectionately referred to as a petting zoo, where I allow people of various ages to handle the pythons, iguanas, corn snakes, fairy dragons, pseudodragons, and other unique reptiles that normally would not be seen by people of a town or city. There, in the safety of cages and magic, they can also see the more rare and more dangerous reptile species, such as Komodo Dragons, crocodiles, and basilisks. I will also get requests for specialty reptile hatchlings, which I breed in my home. I love my work.

Two years ago, I had overheard rumors that there were dragons moving into the Valley. My father worried about them moving out to our little sleepy coastal hamlet on the Pheza Sea. He had to see a healer because his blood pressure skyrocketed wondering how the town’s plumbing and sewage system would handle dragons. All my grandmother could say was at least Grandfather died so he didn’t have to see this. Grandfather died during a winter holiday party having been smothered by an avalanche of visitor’s cloaks and hats. He wasn’t found until the end of the party, but since the entire town was at his home, it wasn’t strange that no one was concerned that they didn’t see him for seven hours. This is part of why I don’t have parties. It is also why no one else in my family has parties anymore either.

I still go to the Valley, despite the rumors. I try to educate people. Ever since the rumors of dragons coming to the Valley became more insistent, I have had more people ask me about dragons. I try to remain polite, but I feel that their fear is unjustified. My mother says I am partial to reptiles. She is right.

I have a booth in Hioso that I rent out on a schedule. I have exclusive access to it the third Monday of every month. I don’t know what happens in this booth on the days that I am not here. The fact that there are four people who keep circling the marketplace and try with great difficulty to hide the fact that they are staring at me makes me wonder about it now. I am trying to assume that it is either because of whoever rents the booth while I am gone, or because they are Dragon Heads, as the newly coined term is starting to emerge. Activists who feel that dragons should be given the same rights as others. I truly hope that they are not Human Supremacists, which is a misnomer, since their ranks include goblins, elves, half-orc, and pretty much anyone whose ancestry does not include scales. Human Supremacists have been known to beat those they feel are dragon sympathizers almost to death. I am pretty sure that they would not make a distinction in my case.

The day is drawing to a close, and I made a pretty good days’ worth of profit. I regularly make about three hundred gold pieces in a day when I come to the Valley. Today was highly profitable with four hundred and fifty. People are really enjoying this new species I created called a Bearded Dragon. Never getting much more than a foot long, these lizards are covered in spikes and will puff out their throat when threatened, looking like a beard. Their diet consists of insects which make them great pest control for homes. They also love to be held and will bond with their owner. I have no hatchling Beardies (as I like to call them) to sell as I pack up. I am also out of hatchling pseudodragons, which is surprising. I am only taking home two hatchling corn snakes and about 15 pamphlets on my petting zoo.

I gather my few critters and make my way to the Hammer Hog Inn, where I always stay when I come to the Valley. They have been decent about allowing me to stay with my hatchlings, so I continue to give them my business. It is also only two blocks away, so I don’t have to drive my wagon there. The bed is decent, and they have a pretty good restaurant. The Hammer Hog Inn was around since before the Dragon Wars, and the owner is a very well-aged elf. He has written some books about the stories he heard from when he was a young boy in the tavern all the way to fifteen years ago. The profits from the books helped him to open a few more Hammer Hog Inns throughout the kingdom of Irane.

Walking through the dimly lit trading post, trying to make my way to the street and the Hammer Hog before night fully sets in, I am distracted and made uneasy by the frequent glimpses of movement from my peripheral vision. I turn my head in response to movement, but there is nothing there. Turning my head to the other side reveals nothing as well. “You’re seeing things, Farkas.” I say to myself just before a burlap bag is put over my face. I grab the bag with my free hands, but strange hands covered in gloves start slapping my hands away.

“Stop it!” says a strangely accented male voice. “Stop fighting! Don’t make me tie you up.” Strange that someone would tell the person that they are abducting to stop fighting, but I guess this was not part of his well-thought-out plan. Perhaps he was sure I would just go with it. I feel my body get dragged effortlessly off to the left, then I feel wood beneath my feet. It feels like a floor and hearing a door close behind me solidifies that idea.

“Is this him?” I hear a female voice. It is strangely hypnotic and enthralling. “Why isn’t he tied up? Do you want him to get away?” I hear her take a long-exasperated sigh. “Just… take him to the room. Sit him at the table. Tie him up there.”

I am taken to a room and shoved easily into a chair. I was wondering how this person intended to tie me up. Until he sat on my lap. Very smart move. I was not expecting that. He felt much heavier than I could lift, and I was having a hard time breathing with him sitting on me. It felt as if he had placed four alligators in my lap on top of each other. I felt him tie one of my hands down, and as he turned to the other, I began to flail it about. He kept reaching and grabbing for my hand, so I started slapping back at him. “Stop it! Stop! What is wrong with you? Put that back! Hey! Stop! Ow, my eye!”

This continued until I felt two smaller, yet quite strong hands grab my forearm and hold it down on the chair. I was instantly intoxicated by a sweet, almost flowery scent unlike any flower I had ever known. I quit fighting. Against my will, I was tied up. The bag was removed from my face. I squinted against the dim room, lit only by a candle on a wall sconce. Across from me was a beautiful woman, with beautiful long hair, and a rather large, hooded person. Both stood with their arms crossed over their chests.

We stared at each other for quite some time. “Why am I here?” I finally blurted out. “Look, I can give you everything that I made today. My family doesn’t pay kidnappers.” I don’t know if they would. I hope they would, but I want to go home tomorrow, not whenever the kidnappers get their money. I had always expected this to happen, since my grandparents are the richest family in Phaja. I just hoped that it never would.

“We don’t want your money.” said the woman in that beautifully melodic voice.

The other turned to her, “We don’t?” he asked in the same strange accent that I heard earlier. She stared at him. “We don’t.” he confirmed, looking back at me quickly. I could see a mask of some kind covering his face under the hood of a long cloak. His hands were covered in gloves, his legs were covered in leather pants, and his feet were covered in massive boots. I think those are boots. In this light, it is hard to really make out.

The woman notices me squinting at the male’s feet and quickly moves into my line of sight. “We want your help.”

Her distraction worked. “My help?” I look down at my hands then back at her. “Lady, you got a strange way of asking for help.”

“We weren’t sure you would be willing to help us if we were to just ask you.” She says, stepping forward once.

I sighed heavily. “I have been without customers for the past hour and a half. You could have come to me at the booth. I couldn’t have walked away.” I probably would have helped her. I can smell that flowery scent again, and it is making me want to help her very much. I hope the dude she is with is not her boyfriend.

She smiled. “What is your name?” she asked.

“Farkas.” I say proudly. “Farkas Murkyfoot.”

She cocks her head to one side and looks at me funny. “Farkas? Really?”

I am hurt. “It’s a family name.” I pout.

Instantly, she is apologizing, “I’m sorry! It’s just, you know, that is a very unusual name. People are coming up with new fancy names like Ethelred, and Angus. It threw me off balance. I really do like your name.” she insisted.

I sniffled, half pretending to be hurt, half to inhale more of her scent. “Why is it so dark in here? If you want me to help you, I need to see you.”

She stood up, returned to her friend and they began to whisper to each other. She turned back around to face me. “How about I tell you what we need, and then if you agree to help us, we can let you see who we are.” I agreed that sounded reasonable, so she started her request. “We have manipulated the emergence of new species of reptile, descended from dragons. We need help educating the public to this specie before we release them. Due to the Dragon Wars, there is still a large group of humanoids that are prejudiced against dragons and all their… relations.” She cleared her throat. “We have been to your booth here in Hioso. We have been to your establishment in Phaja. We feel that you are the best person suited to this task. Halflings are lucky enough to already be trusted as the peacekeepers. After all, it was your people who created the peace between dragons and humanoids. And the elves and the dwarves. And the orc and the humans. Pretty much everyone in the known world. And when we branch out and explore, odds are there will probably be a halfling on board the ship to negotiate peace with the new humanoids.”

I feel that she is buttering me up for something, but I don’t care. My mother always told me thinking with me penis would get me into trouble, but I don’t care about that either. I like thinking with my penis. It is fun. “All you need is for me to explain to people that this new species is not dangerous. Well, are they?” They look at each other uncomfortably. “Have they ever killed anyone?” I asked plainly.

“Not without provocation.” The woman states quickly.

“Yeah.” Agrees her covered friend, “Never without provocation.” He nods emphatically.

She looks at him almost sadly, “Well, there was that one fellow in Femple…”

“Hey, now,” he holds up a gloved finger, “He stole the roast leg of lamb that was on my plate. That is provocation. And I didn’t know he had an allergy.” He added sheepishly, yet defensively. She put a comforting hand on his arm.

That was strange. I had never heard of a reptile defending the owner. Perhaps this was due to the dragon lineage. I had to admit I was intrigued. Besides, if I help this beautiful woman with her new lizard, maybe she will be… thankful. “I think I can help you. Do you have a specimen that I can take home with me? Spend some time with it, allow us to get to know each other?” They looked at each other and burst out into bellows of laughter. How inappropriate. “It is customary if I am to talk about an animal with people that I get to know it very well.” I put an edge to my voice to show how sincere I am.

Finally subduing her laughter, the woman smiles. “Sure. We can arrange for you to spend some time with several… specimen.” She lifted her hand palm up and several more candles fitted into sconces around the room lit up.

I could see a very beautiful and very shapely woman with beautiful golden hair. Her eyes were a golden hazel color, very beautiful and inviting. Her skin had a beautiful tan, healthy and sun kissed. The male that was escorting her was much different looking. His face had an elongated snout, bringing his nose and mouth out two inches from his face. His skin was covered in golden scales, and both his legs ended in large, lizard like feet.

For the first time ever, I now understand what mom meant.