Afraid of My Shadow

I am nine years old, and a very happy boy--well...

until my shadow came, and stole most of my joy. You see,

I liked to run and play , and sit out in the sun,

but now that my shadow's here, that's not any fun.

My shadow follows me, whereover I go--

out in the yard, in my house--everywhere, I suppose.

I'm afraid of him because...well, it's hard to explain.

He seems to find me most when I'm out in the rain,

or by myself, or in the dark--atlleast--that's where he began.

now whhenever I want to do anything, he interferes with my plan.

I want to run, but I'm afraid something will call me back...

I want to make friends, but--my shadow stops me in my tracks.

I always think that just when I relax, and can be free,

someone will see my shadow standing right behind me.

So...

I made room for my shadow, in everything I did,

and when other children came to play, I ran away and hid.

whenever I was by myself, my shadow walked with me,

and if I ever felt alone, he kept me company.

I talked to him, and cried with him, and let him share my pain,

and everywhere that trouble was, he took all the blame.

When I went to church, he sat in the same pew

and walked me home--and he's with me in everything I do.

Then, one day, my one friend--Mary--thought she saw something

was following me when I went home...and she decided to ask me.

She asked me if I knew this thing was following me home--

but I didn't answer because...I had to be alone.

I tried to tell her what was up, but my shadow pulled me away,

and I didn't want to leave him, so--I said I couldn't stay.

I let my shadow dictate what I did and didn't do,

and I just made excuses when there was something he didn't want to do.

But Mary followed me back home, and wouldn't go away.

She wouldn't let me get alone, and so, I let her stay.

I turned around--and just then, my shadow came in sight,

And made Mary's eyes so big, she screamed at it in fright.

"You keep that thing?" she asked, surprised,

but I just shrugged, and said,

"Well, he's the only friend I've ever had

and--I've learned to like him instead.

I used to be afraid of him, and try to make him go,

but since then, he's taken over and now--I just don't know!"

Mary told me I must tell my shadow to go away,

That I could not just let him follow, and always get in my way.

But when she said that, my shadow did a very strange thing.

He grabbed my hand, and shook his head, and dragged me toward him.

Mary grabbed my other hand, and pulled with all her might,

While screaming at my shadow, "Shadow, you have no right!"

And suddenly, I realized--I couldn't let him win,

for I had let my shadow take over me like sin.

I turned and faced him, pushing back, fighting with all my might,

to free myself from this dark thing that'd taken up my life.

"Shadow, I don't need you!" I cried, and--then, I wondered how...

but--as soon as I had said those words, he was gone...

and now--I don't tretreat to him when I think I'm getting scared,

because I 've learned that doing that doesn't get me anywhere.

Friends are fun, adn they are worth a little fear to make,

and never will I ever make that first grave mistake

of letting in my shadow, for I know that he'll become

the source of all my troubles, and--well,

That's not any fun.