Adam and Eve

Here we are, being kicked out of our Garden home by some guy with wings that our Father sent, all because of Adam. That idiot then blamed everything on me, of course. He never could accept blame for his own mistakes.

You see, I never gave Adam the Fruit from the Tree of Knowledge for him to eat. No, I didn’t. Now, that fool’s had a chance to tell his side, it’s my turn to tell my side.

From the moment Father put me in the Garden to be a companion to Adam, Adam did nothing but show off. Telling me the names of all the animals, then pointing at the serpent and saying I have one of those. Then, the idiot would go around shaking his ‘serpent’ all over the place.

Well, the day he shook that ‘serpent’ in my face was when I had had enough. We sat underneath the Tree of Knowledge when he jumped up, hollered, “Serpent,” and danced his junk in my face. Well, I’d had enough. Without thinking about what I was doing or the consequences of my actions, I jumped up, reached out, plucked one of the fruits from the tree, and chunked it at Adam. Hard. I hit him square in the chest. And what did that fool do? He bent down, picked the fruit off the ground where it had landed, and took a bite, smiling his fool head off.

Well, no sooner than he did, there was a rumbling sound, the day went dark, and Adam screamed out, “We’re naked; that’s what we are!”

That’s when the winged man appeared with the flaming sword and chased us from the only home we had ever known.

Now, I am big fat and pregnant with one of Adam’s children. I’m dreading giving birth because I don’t see any way this child will be leaving my body without tearing me wide open.

And I’m pissed. Because if Adam had been truthful, he’d be the one bearing the children, not me.