A Wife's Dilemma

A calming sensation in my shoulders from kneading the round dough was helping me to forget the dilemma I had with my husband. Stress baking was a kind of relaxation for me. Cooking cake after cake dripping in melted chocolate had become a meticulous hobby of mine but it also made me feel peaceful plus it had become a lifelong career. It cured me of my devastating mind as I sprinkled flour over the dough and continued to roll it. Then the doorbell chimed, making me jump. I rinsed the white powdery flakes from my hands under the cold running water and dried them with a tea towel. I stood in front of the full-length mirror and looked at my disheveled self. My long black hair was tangled and a mess as it fell in curls down my back. I hadn't bothered to comb it today or fix it. My black dress flowed down to my ankles revealing pink toenails in flip flops. I had known that this day would come. I opened the door to see a woman dressed in a blue suit.

"Mrs. Jess Brown?"

"Yes…" I replied, pushing my hair away from my face.

"I'm Detective Harper. It's about your missing husband. May I come in?"

I opened the door wider as she stepped inside. Detective Harper was a tall blonde woman of medium height with aging lines under her eyes. Her seriousness shook me as I trembled slightly and tried not to show my fear.

"Have you found him?" I asked as we stood in the hallway.

"Nothing as yet but a witness has come forward. One of your husband's colleagues came to see us this morning. She claimed he didn't turn up for a meeting."

"She?" I asked, pausing for a minute. "He was away on a business trip for a few days before that. He was supposed to be back at the office yesterday and then he would have come home but he didn't… that's why I reported him missing."

My hands trembled as I moved them behind my back.

"I see. Well… I can tell you… his colleague said he didn't turn up at the airport which is where they were supposed to meet. Of course, I'll have to check the flight schedule to see if he actually got on the flight and then see where he went missing from there."

She wrote something down in a small notebook.

"Who was the colleague? You said it was 'she'?"

"Yes… it's Miss Andrea Davis. She said she's worked alongside your husband for three years."

My heartbeat fluttered erratically.

"I see. I thought he was meeting a few colleagues at the airport."

"No. Your husband and Miss Davis were the only ones that were attending the convention. I'm sorry but I thought you knew that."

My body felt numb.

"No, I didn't. He never spoke to me about his work trips or the conventions. To be honest, I didn't really take much interest in them," I said as I remembered his briefcase containing notes and a diary of his work schedules.

My breath stalled as I noticed the cellar door was slightly ajar. Ginger, our cat was always going down there so Jack would always make sure it was left open a bit but today I wished it wasn't as I noticed a green flashing light from underneath the door.

"Right, if I need to ask anything else I'll be back. Don't worry. I'll let you know what I find out. Oh… one more thing… How did Mr. Brown get to the airport? Did he order a taxi or drive himself there?"

"Jack… his name is Jack," I said irritatedly. "He said someone was picking him up. He didn't get a taxi and his car is still parked in the garage."

A bout of queasiness overwhelmed me as I remembered that day.

"Picked up by who? Did you see who it was? Did you ask him who was coming to get him?" She stared boldly at me and my stomach churned.

"No. I didn't think to ask." 

I turned to pick up the morning post from the floor and felt silly as I nearly fell over.

"Are you okay Mrs. Brown?"

"Yes. Sorry. It's my tummy. I have morning sickness as I'm pregnant." I nearly kicked myself for mentioning it.

"I see. Is it your first child?"

"Yes. Jack was so excited when I told him and now… well… he's not here," I said as I remembered Jack's gruesomeness.

"I'm so sorry… right… I won't keep you any longer. I'll be in touch, Mrs. Brown, and please take care," she said as she opened the glazed brown door and left.

I was lost without Jack. After being married for five years we had finally gotten some excitement. Jack had always been around helping me feel better but then he'd mentioned that he had another weekend sales convention and it had caught me off balance.

At the cellar door, I closed it because Ginger was sitting on the stool in the kitchen. I sighed. The mess down there had been tremendously tiresome. It was Jack's place. He'd turned it into a snooker room where he and his mates hung out. The green snooker table with its colorful balls and expensive snooker sticks were Jack's precious toys.

In the light oak kitchen, I continued kneading the dough for a raspberry cake I was making. I carried on smoothing the dough. My fingers quickened as I wondered whether Jack had told Andrea Davis about the pregnancy. He must have said something. His bitterness after had angered me. My excited words had stunned him and his foul glare now haunted me. A queasiness came over me. I realized I hadn't eaten. A shiver ran down my spine as flashes of Jack's weakness ravaged my brain. I had hated our disgruntled argument. He hadn't wanted the baby. Instead, he wanted a divorce.

Two hours later the timer rang on the cooker. The sweetness of the hot oven as a perfect raspberry sponge was steaming made me hungry. The sweet scent of raspberry wafted into the air. I felt a rush of sugary joy rise up within me. I placed the tray down on the side leaving it to cool as I heard a noise.

I turned and went to the cellar door. I put my ear against it. Nothing. I wasn't sure what to do. I opened it anyway. I clicked the light switch on and peered down the staircase. All I could see were the floor stains from the mess Jack had made and a flashing green light illuminating above the snooker table. It was Jack's green winner light when someone won a game. Why was that thing going off?

The doorbell chimed loudly making me jump.

"Hello, Mrs. Brown. I'm back again," the detective said as I let her in.

"Any news?" I asked.

"Some. According to the airport schedule, he was booked on a flight to Dublin but he never got on it. He missed it," she said as her blue eyes scrutinized me.

"So… what are you saying?"

"It seems he went missing after he was picked up from here. We are going to do a door-to-door questioning on this street to find out if anyone saw anything. We should find something out soon. Perhaps there might be witnesses who saw him get into a car."

I didn't know what to say. I was stumped for words. 

"So, is that good news?" I asked, trying to get the courage to appear cheerful about it as I smiled weakly.

"Yes. Definitely, Mrs. Brown." 

I walked into the kitchen and she followed me.

"Please, call me Jess," I said as I sat on a stool and she sat down next to me.

"Are you feeling up to this? You seem a bit out of sorts."

"It's just my tummy playing up."

"I see. Your cake looks delicious."

"The chocolate one was baked this morning. Would you like a slice?" I asked as I saw Detective Harper's eyes saunter over to the chocolate sponge next to the black ceramic hob.

"I love chocolate."

"I'll cut you a piece," I said.

"Lovely," she said minutes later after she took her first bite. "It tastes wonderful."

Of course, as she was about to eat the next mouthful her mobile phone buzzed and she retrieved it from her pocket. I watched her move off the stool and move out into the hallway.

"Detective Harper here. Yes," I heard her say. "I see. I'll be there right away."

She came back into the kitchen and stared at me as she took another mouthful of cake.

"Is everything alright Detective?"

"Something's turned up… I've got to go," she said as she left me sitting there in the stilted silence of my kitchen.

The memories etched in my head vividly as I remembered how it had started. My anger had blown up when my pregnancy had turned into a miscarriage some days afterward and my tears had blinded my fury. So, I threw his open briefcase in vain at his snooker tournament medals, arranged neatly on the living room cabinet. When everything spilled out of it I hadn't expected another problem. A photo of him and Miss Davis slipped out onto the floor. They were hugging each other closely. Their cheeks touching. Their lips; open, catching each other's breath. I could just see it in my mind. Their sordid affair. I kept the picture for a while but now it lay burnt in shreds in the garden.

I stood motionless on the cellar steps and stared at the large black deep chest freezer. Jack had installed it down there storing all the beers he could get for him and his friends. His green light was flashing erratically and glistened in the fading light. It was as if Jack had set it off on purpose. It shattered my heart knowing that I had poisoned him senselessly for having a love affair with his colleague. Obliterated words about why he wanted to leave still lingered.

The sickening memories wracked my senses. Jack had eaten some of my chocolate sponge cake. He had complained of tummy pain afterward. I ignored it and asked him to get the cat from the basement. The rush of adrenaline as he fell down the steps had given me an eerie satisfaction yet I had not wanted to lose him. He'd yelled out in pain. I went after him. Seeing him lying at the bottom of the steps had sickened me. I hadn't wanted to go down there but I did. His head had bled out. I noticed the gash where he must have hit it on the way down. 

I'd hounded him to go down there to get Ginger the day he was meant to go to Dublin. My devious hatred for his affair had spurred me on. Plus, now I had lied to Detective Harper. No one had come to pick him up. I had only meant to give him an upset stomach to stop him from going on his business trip. The rest was an accident which was very bad luck.

The cleaning materials had worked and it was lucky that a friend had offered to take the freezer away. He said he could dump it for me. I didn't ask about the details but waiting for everything to calm down was the best option. 

The harshness of trying to get Jack into it still unnerved me. It had been torture. Sickness had prevailed me for days. Nightmares tore through me like a cutting blade. The only thing that I relished was the money that was now sitting in my bank. All I had to do was wait it out and let someone else be blamed once the freezer was gone. That was my plan.

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