A Souvenir

The Souvenir

Untz, untz, untz, untz, utnz, untz, untz, untz, whhhhhhhhhooooooooommmmmmmmm, whhhhhhhhhooooooooommmmmmmmm, whhhhhhhhhoooooooommmmmmmmm, blip, blip, whhhhhhhhhooooooooommmmmmmmm, whhhhhhhhhooooooooommmmmmmmm, whhhhhhhhhooooooooommmmmmmmm, blip, blip, untz, untz, untz, untz, untz, untz, untz, untz…Zik turned down his sound pods and rubbed his one eye open as Xef shook him from his cradled sleep in his reclined shuttle seat.

“Wake up! Wake up Zik! We’re here! We’ve made it! Shouted Xef as he flipped open the window shade on the Galactic Explorer shuttle, plucked a sound pod out of Zik’s ear and stuffed it into his own ear, “Eew! What are you listening to?” Xef pulled the sound pod out of his ear and flung it back to Zik.

“It’s vintage earth techno mixed with radio emissions converted into sound waves from the planet Neptune, you bland nudnik! Zik caught his sound pod with his right webbed hand and slipped it into his resealable space suit pocket on the left leg of his pant. He glanced downward between his two webbed space boots and peered out the circular window to see a sphere of ash and dark clouds through his squinting eye, “That’s Earth? Big deal!”

"Big Deal! Who’s the bland nudnik now? This is EARTH, home of the mortals, we read an entire chapter on it in Space History, they survived famine, torture, murder, poverty, sickness and more. How could any living being endure so much chaos in such a brief lifetime? They lived in a blue sphere each less than 100 years only to end in a planet turned to cinders, probably due to climate change.”

“You mean human greed. Don’t you remember anything Dr. Ky taught us in Exo-Economics?”

“I do, but she also said the majority of humans tried to save the environment by planting seedlings, recycling and living low waste lifestyles. Humans were a very dynamic race capable of sublime and monstrous deeds. Doesn’t that fascinate you?”

“Nah, mortality sounds like a bore. I forgot you’re an earthling fanboy. There’s no talking sense to you. It’s obvious who the majority was, you just won’t see it.”

“I’m not an earthling fanboy, although, I do have a collection of human radio emission streams and a replica of the Golden Record. I just think humans don’t get enough credit. Plus, I want an original souvenir for my collection.”

“Good luck finding a souvenir! It looks mighty crispy down there.”

As the Galactic Explorer began its slow descent into the shadowy stratosphere, Zik shifted in his reclined ergonomic seat feeling queasy. There was something about the gravity of the doomed planet that filled him with a peculiar anxiety.

“Okay students, prepare yourselves for gravity adjustments, we are entering a non-aquatic atmosphere, remember to put your hydrogen helmets on,” said Dr. Fuki as he began to snap his hydrogen helmet in place and turned on his hydrogen tank, “we will be entering a thick post-apocalyptic atmosphere, turn on your night vision on your helmet shields. The atmosphere is darker than our abyssal zone waters back home. Any questions?

He scanned the shuttle and saw no one raised their webbed hand.

Dr. Fuki sat down and began to discuss his Exo-Evolutionary lesson plans with his assistant, Runi. Zik turned to Xef, “ I don’t know why we were forced to travel so far just to see a floating ashtray. I’d rather be in the middle of a 1000 mile aquathalon wearing a wetsuit two sizes too small.”

Annoyed by Zik’s lack of enthusiasm, Xef turned his gaze back out the window and saw the landing engines fire up. He jumped out of his seat as soon as the Galactic Explorer touched ground. Zik shook his head as he began to snap the helmet on his head. The crew of ten exo-evolutionary students, Runi and Dr. Fuki exited the space shuttle.

Xef skipped the last four steps of the metallic landing ladder to be the first of his classmates to step on the black ashen ground. “One giant leap for OBA kind.” It was his favorite quote from his earthling radio emission collection. He looked up to scan the dark, desolate perimeter, turned his gaze back down and stood admiring his webbed footprint as he waited for the rest of his classmates to join him.

“Calm down space spud, you’re embarrassing yourself,” said Zik as he descended the ladder chewing on one side of his cheek.

The charred terrains showed no signs of life with only shards of slate and irregular black stones littering the landscape. Zik felt a shock of electricity singe his spine.

“Most lifeforms are immortal, how come humans never evolved beyond their mortality?” Asked Umi as she wiped a thin layer of fine ash from her helmet shield.

“It’s true, most lifeforms are immortal but there are a few that fail to thrive. Humans, tragically, died inside their mother planet before venturing beyond their own satellite. There are a myriad of reasons why such races don’t evolve to the universal immortal lifespan, but in this case, it’s a mystery. Their ancient ancestors started off on the right foot, deriving from the womb of the oceans as amphibious beings. In fact, we share important traits with some of their own deep sea creatures such as the immortal jellyfish and the hydra. We also share similar pluripotent stem cells and WNT signaling pathways for regeneration with other of their creatures such as salamanders and axolotls. Of course, they lived submerged lives in the deep cold waters much like ourselves. And like their ancestor, the lung fish, we also learned to thrive for extended periods of time out of water, but we were wise enough to return to the source of eternal life-the salt seas. They preferred the land for some reason. The earthling puzzles us further because their DNA was encoded with self-preservation instincts and, yet, in the end, they self-destructed. In truth, we don’t know much about them, the planet itself offers no economic benefit to the OBA but it’s the closest dead planet to our star system. And we find it vital to teach our newer immortal generations to preserve our planetary immortality.”

“If this was a climate disaster, wouldn’t the planet have recovered by now?” Asked Ono as he scanned the wasteland.

“Yes, that’s a great question. We aren’t sure the planet was destroyed by a natural catastrophe, climate change, asteroids…but we assume it was climate change based on the radio emissions. Based on that assumption, it would seem that the planet would technically regenerate, or at least, that’s the pattern we find in similar planets. But as you can see, or not see, this planet reflects less than 1 percent of sunlight, the atmosphere seems to be tainted with high levels of light absorbing chemicals such as vaporized sodium, potassium and titanium gases. How these chemicals came to be is still a mystery. The OBA Federation of Exoplanetary Studies has paid little attention to the matter. As far as we can discern, it may simply be an anomaly or the planet may have suffered a succession of violent catastrophes. Humans are not high on our research list because they never reached any substantive level of intelligence. Therefore, Earth remains low priority but it has been deemed safe for student studies.”

“Have any human artifacts ever been recovered besides the radio emissions and the Golden Record? From the radio emissions research, it seems they had the odds stacked against them,” said Xef as he kicked a single webbed boot at a small ash mound on the ground.

“They did have a difficult journey, but I think it’s important to point out other successful immortals began in the same situation. As far as recovered artifacts, we shall see. If we do find artifacts, it is important to remember: we cannot remove any artifact from the planet,” said Dr. Fuki as he checked the hydrogen tank levels on his wrist monitor.

“Why not?” Asked Xef in a crushed voice.

“WEIGHT. Our Galactic Explorer isn’t designed to carry artifacts and has been calibrated to carry the exact passenger weight plus itemized safety equipment for fuel conservation purposes.You may photograph and stream artifacts but that’s about it…”

A loud pop interrupted Dr. Fuki and everyone turned to see Zik pointing a shiny handheld object towards a mound of ash. “Stay here!” Said Dr. Fuki and ran towards Zik.

Zik turned slowly and dropped the silver object on the black powdery ground and ran back to the Galactic Explorer. Runi ran after him. Dr. Fuki brought out his handheld scanner and scanned the silver object. Then he proceeded towards the ash mound with measured steps, the mound oozed a luminescent blue liquid, he retrieved another instrument from his backpack, a cylindrical object with a cup at the tip and pointed it towards the mound of ash. It blew all the ash from the mound to reveal a floating human body perfectly preserved in a liquid filled capsule with shattered glass. Dr. Fuki continued blowing the fine ash between the cracks of the shattered glass and accidentally tapped against it. The fractured glass cracked further and the blue liquid drained fast from the capsule, the preserved body no longer in suspension, slumped over and crashed through the glass. Dr. Fuki turned back to find Zik had disappeared from the scene and decided to return to the group.

“Everything is okay. Zik uncovered a gun from underneath the ash”

“What is a gun?” Asked Xef as his eyes widened at the shiny metallic object.

“According to the scanner, it is a weapon constructed of a metal tube used to discharge bullets by explosive force. It can be used to exterminate life. Zik set it off by mistake and it shot in the direction of the ash mound.”

“What is that?” Umi interrupted.

“Oh that’s a human or WAS a human. Now, it’s a ‘cryo mummy’ or a human suspended in a cryogenic hibernation capsule.”

“Did Zik kill it?” Asked Xef as he trembled in his space suit.

“No, it died when the hibernation capsule was no longer operable long ago.”

“Then why is it still perfectly preserved? Asked Ono scratching the top of her hydrogen helmet.

“The blue liquid preserved the outer skin of the body. It should start decomposing any moment now.”

Runi returned from the shuttle and whispered in Dr. Fuki’s ear, the doctor nodded. Dr. Fuki placed the gun on his webbed glove and asked if the students wanted to get a closer look without touching it. The eager students turned their undivided attention towards the gun.

Xef returned his attention to the dead cryo mummy and waited for the decomposition to begin. He lifted the drooped head with his webbed glove and noticed something around its neck. He took out his handheld scanner and scanned it, the scanner identified it as an ornamental case worn around the neck used to hold things of remembrance. He removed it form its neck and held it in his webbed hand admiring it, sliding his gloved finger down the cardioid shaped case(something he remembered from an exo-biology class). It snapped open to reveal a picture of another human. In OBA, no one had to remember their loved one, they had each other eternally. He reached over to place the locket back around the corpses neck, a slab of soggy skin came off on his glove. Death was grotesque, cruel and indifferent. How could the mortals make sense of such a dizzying life experience, how were they able to find beauty in the blink of an eye? He looked around and saw nothing but death and decomposition. What a cursed planet! He couldn’t wait to leave. For the first time in his immortality, he felt a heavy weight press against his chest and wondered if the Galactic Explorer would be able to carry it.