A Shiny Objects Christmas

Crystallina lowered her head to Goblitina in a gesture of self assured smugness. "Are we not the most wonderful people on earth?" she asked her husband. He lowered his head back and clinked it to the outer edge of her beautiful globe shaped head. It clanked like a little bell which elicited a squeal of delight from his wife.

"Yes, we are perfect."

They were seated alone at a large white lacquered table atop which lay an assortment of shiny objects. Amongst these were silvery bowls and cutlery, candlesticks made of the finest gold, serving dishes that defied all description in their marvelously glowing presentations and of course plates, cups and saucers, lots of them, all sculpted of the finest crystal. The whole collection shimmered like the surface of the mid-noon sea when sunlight throws its glinting diamonds upon the rippling waves. As this was Christmas day, there was more than the usual display of material goods positioned atop that brilliant white surface but not by too much, Crystallina mused. She always wanted more. "Never be satisfied."

"The family will love it!" she exclaimed.

The doorbell rang and Crystallina rushed to the door. She threw it open and in strode the twin sisters Tumblerina and Vasetina. Crystallina noted that both of her daughters were shaped of finely molded crystal, the finest in the world, and shimmered brilliantly in the sun drenched foyer. She was proud to have birthed such dazzling creatures and struck a glass finger against Vasetina's finely tuned outer shell. "Mother," Vasetina exclaimed, " you will smudge my coat!" A chastened Crystallina rushed for some windex and paper towels to shine the smudge. "There, all perfect," she said as she completed the task.

After the usual pleasantries were exchanged they all sat down with a thump which sounded more like glass breaking against concrete. The annual ritual commenced. Nothing ever changed, nothing could EVER change in the house of the shiny objects. Crystallina and her husband had located to this suburban house decades ago in order to obtain the order and perfection they both craved. They lived in a large 3500 foot white house which was surrounded by other identical 3500 foot white houses, all of which was surrounded by the obligatory four lane superhighway which they all called "the moat." A woman must have everything, after all. Especially safety. A small bridge traversed the moat to allow only select visitors in.

They glanced to and fro and admired each other's beauty, basking in the glow of the one to the right and the one to the left. Conversation veered from money to objects but always back to success.

"Tumblerina, your raise in salary will make you richer than rich. Good girl."

Mummy, I love my new glass necklaces, all 10 of them. And in such vibrant colors!"

"My girls are such successes," Goblitina laughed and showed his two rows of perfectly cut emerald teeth.

Smiles all around. Rounds of "How are you? - I am fine" were shared when Vasetina caught sight of the empty chair. "What's that doing here?" she shrieked.

Suddenly, there was a knock on the door and it swung open. In walked a human, a perfectly shaped man of some 6 feet, sandy hair and blue eyes, all swaddled in tweed.

"What's he doing here?" the girls hissed at each other as they shot dagger like glances at their mother. Their stepbrother Joseph, the brother from Mummy's prior marriage, entered the room and sat in the empty chair. "Hello all, Happy Holidays," he intoned to the group.

They all, even Mummy, hated him with his academic elitism and superior talk. He always wanted to sermonize about something despicable like helping the poor or equalizing society and wealth, topics this family loathed. They were, to say the least, not empathetic people. To the contrary, they were surface skaters, much like those little flies that can walk on water but never sink.

And how did he ever get past the moat guards?

Dinner commenced and they were all surprised that Joseph was behaving so well. He spoke of the pretty things they all loved and smiled brilliantly at them all. After dinner was done and desert served he looked down at the rather large bag he had placed by his chair and said, "I have a gift for all of you." They adored gifts and each wondered what it could be. Maybe a diamond to complement a lady's outer glow or a new decorative box for Goblitina.

They all sat breathless on the edge of their chairs as he reached his large hands down and pulled out an object they had never seen before. It appeared to be a tool of some sort. With quizzical glances they looked at each other when Crystallina asked, "what is it?"

The answer came swiftly as Joseph’s eyes grew into a wild stare and his arms started swinging wildly.

"IT'S A GLASS BREAKER!!" screamed Goblitina.

By the time he had uttered these words Joseph had already sliced his sisters to shards, each thrust of his arm delivering the fatal blows that would smash their material skins and desires into a thousand pieces. He didn't have to work so hard on Crystallina as he caught her when she ran and kicked her forcefully into the stone fireplace, shattering her to bits and forever putting to rest her silly dreams and utterances. Goblitina proved more challenging as he fought with every ounce of his strength but one final blow separated the Goblet head from it's stem-like body and his lifeless form lay broken on the hardwood floor.

Joseph panted and turned one last time to see thousands of glass pieces scattered about the room as he slammed the door.

"My Christmas gift to humanity."