A Question of Identity

September 29, 2108, 01:57

Log Entry: 1193

I hear the warning for curfew sounding in my quadrant of Section 15. Another day gone in this hellscape city. Since the attack on City Hall last week by GLX9, Central has been cracking down on interlopers not in their homes at exactly 10:00 pm. Last week, I saw them beat my elderly neighbor, Mr. Sung, for being out in the hallway. I tried to get them to stop, but they threatened to shoot me if I so much as took a step closer. I can still see the blood on the walls.

And I haven’t seen Mr. Sung in weeks either.

It’s getting harder to live here. Since McAllister took over Central 5 years ago, he’s made every effort to punish and oppress anyone that doesn’t agree with him. Any attempts at criticizing Central’s corruption leads to getting arrested or being put on a watch list. All protests are immediately met with gunfire and bloodshed. While the poor suffer, he and the Corporations that support him lead lavish lifestyles. Advertisements are constantly shown on HoloNet to persuade the poorest amongst us, that this life can be yours too, but you must first sell your soul.

And people have fallen for it. I can’t blame them for trying to live a better life, an easier life. Especially when the life you were born into is incredibly oppressive. Everyone wants to live life stress free. I’ve lost so many friends to Corporate, but I understand why. It’s incredibly tempting, and it has been tempting me a lot. Just the chance to see my family again, would mean the world to me. But they live in Section 9 and McAllister has prohibited travel between sections since the first rebellion attempt 3 years ago. Even communication is prohibited. I don’t even know if my family is still alive.

It would be so tempting, but I can’t. And I can’t because of Nathan.

It’s been 3 months since I last saw him. I was on my way home from the library and he pulled me into an alleyway. He gave me this gold, slightly tarnished, heart-shaped locket and told me to keep it safe and to always keep it on me. I tried to ask why, but all he did was kiss me and ran off into the crowd. The locket had nothing but a picture of us at 19, right before we got together. Why was this so important? And why did he leave me?

Since then, I’ve gotten periodic visits from Central at my job and at my home. The questions have always been about Nathan and his whereabouts and whether I know of his involvement in GLX9. This came as a total shock for me. We were together for 3 years and never once did he mention such a thing like this.

Why wouldn’t he tell me?

GLX9 only started becoming active eight months ago. It started with small explosions throughout Section 15. The first one at Central’s headquarters killed a higher up apparently. It was all over the news on HoloNet. At the time, I didn’t think much of it because there have been unsuccessful rebellion attempts over the past three years. But this time it was different. The attacks started picking up pace, and more and more of the elites were being killed or kidnapped.

The attacks were all over the news, and it was all that my coworkers could talk about. Then, GLX9 hacked the HoloNet servers and livestreamed an announcement from their leader. His face was covered, as were any identifying features. He said that the attacks would continue until Central and Corporate were abolished, and that they could either do so willingly or forcefully. But until then, the attacks would continue. Central tried to trace the stream, but they were using an untraceable server. Only a genius would be able to pull that off, which Nathan is, but there’s no way that he…

It’s just not possible. Thinking back on when this all began, there was no change in Nathan’s behavior. Sure, he was a bit busier and stressed than usual, but I figured that it was just his job at the energy plant giving him more work to do. He always hated that job. The higher ups were always making him and his coworkers work 10 hours shifts with very little down time. At least, that’s what he told me. Could he have been lying? But he would never do that, so why…

I can’t go anywhere without feeling like there’s an extra pair of eyes on me. I feel like they’re waiting for me to reach out to him, but why? Why are they watching me? What has he done? Drones have been flying all through Section 15, showing a hologram of his face and that he was wanted for his connections to GLX9. My coworkers have been asking me what’s going on, and I have no answer.

I don’t know what to do anymore. I’m here alone and there’s no one that I can talk to. There’s no one that I can trust. And I’m constantly afraid. Afraid for my family. Afraid for me. Afraid for Nathan. I have to constantly remind myself that he’s not dead. Because if he were dead, I wouldn’t have Central breathing down my neck. I guess that’s a good thing. I just wish he were here with me now so he could explain himself.

Part of me is hurt, that he would keep something like this from me. Did he not trust me? Was it to save me? He just left me without any explanation. Just a kiss and this locket. Just how deep is his involvement in this thing? All I have are more questions and just more confusion. Life was already a struggle under this regime, but now I feel like someone is slowly cutting off my air supply. I’m constantly on edge, waiting for the next attack and announcement from Central. I’m constantly worried that each time I turn on the news that I’ll hear that they’ve arrested Nathan. Or worse.

Looking outside my bedroom window, I can see the flying drones still showing his face. Randomly, I remember him telling me when he first gifted me this journal three years ago that, “It’s always better to write everything down by hand since nothing is ever secret with technology.” Back then, I laughed it off because I was a nobody and why would they ever pay attention to me. I just thought he was being paranoid. I guess I was wrong.

There’s a deep part of me that believes he knew this was going to happen. He knew that he would have to leave me at some point and that it would be better if I didn’t know anything. I’ve known this man since we were 10 years old. And I’ve been in love with him for 12 years. I thought I knew everything about him, but it seems like he kept a lot hidden from me.

Just who are you, Nathan Blackwater, and what have you gotten yourself into?