A Passage Through Time (The Final 3rd Part)

'... the early morning of dawn was to silently herald over Jamie, in a total blissful unawareness, as she slept on into the slow dawn of a new day...'

Outside the early markings of a new day were making themselves known all around. Birds were beginning to chirp from up high in the trees. Street lamps began extinguishing their glow heralding the end to the darkness of night. The engines of the dumpster trucks could be heard as they slowly rolled onward along their route with amber flashing lights lit to warn of their presence to all who had begun the daily routine of coming out of their houses to warm up their car engines before setting off to their daily works offices. Postal workers were busily beginning to deposit mail through individual letterboxes and milk floats glided along delivering fresh milk & eggs to every doorstep on their delivery lists. The sky was starting its transition from darkness to a weak & watery sun rising up into the sky, blueness evaporating every spot of the sky with white, fluffy clouds forming in clusters.

From within her flat, it remained just as bright as it had been during the night before, the sun's mighty intensity unable to penetrate through the thick layer of 'blackout' material of the pulled curtains, the lounge only as luminescent as the internal lighting offered.

Nothing stirred from within, apart from the quiet low tones of the television that had previously been playing on the music channel, now just emitting the silent humming noise of a channel being off-air, as it had been since the close-down of its program hours earlier, with Jamie in blissful ignorance of it ever having taken place.

Looking down upon the young woman, she appeared at peace with herself as if it were just another young woman who had fallen asleep on the couch after she had been working late, stumbled home exhausted, and simply sat down dog-tired falling asleep where she had been laying.

A loud rap upon the front door startled her into a dazed woken state, her eyes flicking open as if suddenly disturbed & rattled by someone standing over her. But the room was empty, she could not locate where the knocks originated from. A further knock followed shortly by a quick succession of slithers and a quiet thudding sound as mail soft-landed on the hallway rug. Jamie could just about make out the sound of footsteps which followed suit, then peace once more. But despite the peace, the ensuing silence left an impressionable clouded mark above her head.

The sound of the post being pushed firmly through the letterbox had created an illogical pattern forming within her mind, that someone was attempting to force the front door open, so much so that the young woman had rapidly sat up bolt upright in a start, making an attempt to determine what she had just heard but began to shake in the way a rabbit would react to the dazzling headlights of an approaching car on the road, would have done.

For a few minutes of time, she could not fully reconcile with her thoughts to enable her to recognize that the sounds she heard had been simply nothing more than an innocent postal worker delivering letters addressed to her. During the short space of time, her heart rate had rapidly & unexpectedly elevated to a point where Jamie had suddenly begun to sweat & shake as her own body was beginning to recognize fear itself.

Jamie remained frozen to the spot where she had been sitting.

As she sat there on the couch, Jamie consciously attempted to refocus her mind away from the bitter intensity of her repressed events of trauma that had resurfaced from deep within her psyche. She remained sitting up in a rigid trance-like pose, her mind not allowing for her to move freely. The awful terrified emotions had overrun any sense of reality to her; the simple footsteps and knocking at the door had been enough to upset Jamie's delicate mental balance that protected her from what was both real and unreal. Without any further warning, there was a clattering & grating sound outside the very window of the lounge where she was.

The grating of steel bins being dragged along the path outside of her flat and the ensuing bangs & clashes as the binmen chucked its contents down into the awaiting bin lorry...

The loudness of the vibrations coming from the simple actions of what was nothing more than a daily early morning routine by busying workers were playing havoc on Jamie's thoughts. Her perceptions of everyday sounds & routine regularity of daily life around her had been badly distorted by her previous trauma of being raped. She was unable to move from where she was, still sweating and her heart pounding so strongly within herself as if the very organ of the heart itself, her own body's nexus, was about to explode outward from within her very chest itself.

Breathe, just breath, concentrate, focus, and just... breathe.

Pushing herself away from the unpredictable, scary, and irrational thoughts that were currently taking over the rational side of her mind's focus, Jamie strived to suppress the damaging images & sensations that were cluttering her mind, in a desperate attempt to clear them from her thoughts, and regain some achievable sense of reality, of the real 'hear and now,' that she was in her flat, the windows & doors were locked, to accept that today was a new day and that she was in her flat alone... no one was there but her... she could not get hurt, she was alone by herself.

Almost lost within her own thoughts, unexpectedly from the table next to her, a shrill beeping sound could be heard emanating from her mobile phone, reminding her that it was 08:00hrs and time to take her morning medication. Jamie had been so absorbed & encapsulated within her own mind as past disturbing thoughts replayed within her consciousness, she had completely lost all sense of time & place. The warm-sounding of the phone alarm was just enough to jolt her back into a state of reality. Sighing gently, she stretched out her arms above her head and yawned. Delicately Jamie rose from the couch that had provided her comfort & safe affability from the previous coldness of the previous night's fear.

She picked up the phone, swiping the screen to cancel the alarm, noticing the reminder on the phone, that she had a pre-booked appointment with her psychiatrist later today.

Without any warning, and rather than simply placing her phone back on the table, she tossed it through the air, aiming its trajectory toward the couch, soft-landing on the crumpled blanket and cushions. Jamie ambled through to the kitchen, flicking on the kettle to have her usual morning brew of coffee. Trailing the hot brew through from the cramped kitchen area to the bedroom, that had just hours earlier, failed to provide her with any warm & cozy night's sleep.

Plonking herself back down on the comfy chair within her bedroom, she slowly started sipping the welcoming hot & steamy coffee, its texture and full-bodied aroma helped her to feel more alive in herself; a habit-forming behavior that she had started to develop from that first moment of admission to the local mental health hospital, where she had been transferred to by paramedics on that lonely, cold and terrifying night...

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If you have not had a chance to read parts one & two, then you will find these both below:

Part One.

Part Two.

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I love writing articles & fictional stories. They give me scope to express myself and free my mind. After working as a mental health nurse for 30 years, writing allows an effective emotional release, one which I hope you will join me on. Follow me here on Vocal and subscribe too, so you can follow what I write here. If you liked it then please give me a heart.

Tips are always optional but, they keep allowing me to push my creativity forward too now that I am attempting to develop my career in writing, after retiring very early after Covid affected my health...

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To read the final few chapters of this short story on Jamie & her PTSD you can visit Amazon to purchase the full version available from 30th October 2021 (see link below.)

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