A new beginning or a strange ending?

Life had been really hard – not just the past few months or even years but the whole of my adult life. It started with a marriage, at a really young age, which then turned into 20 years of mental abuse. I had finally escaped that “prison” but not without substantial issues. They probably led to my next relationship with an alcoholic who died after seven years. Unbelievably – but sadly true – my next marriage was to another alcoholic who died after four years. I hasten to add I had nothing to do with those deaths! Both had died from conditions caused by drinking.

I had now taken an extreme decision to leave everything behind and try to start again. I would become a new person, the person I wish I had been over 35 years ago. A strong, independent woman who didn’t need a man to make me feel happy or fulfilled in life. I searched for a property in a small place where I could be on my own but with a small community near-by. I wasn’t afraid of being somewhere that needed some work, or indeed on my own. I had felt more lonely than I think I could ever feel again throughout those three disastrous relationships, and I had learned to fend for myself and do things in the home while my two previous partners had been drunk most of the time.

Eventually I found a beautiful little cottage in a beautiful village, and after a few trips to the area I discovered that the village held everything I could need or want, and the locals were extremely friendly. The cottage itself needed a little bit of work, but I had been told it would be quite easy to get help with anything needed into terms of locals who were always looking for something to occupy their time. Most in the village were retired but there were still some families and residents who lived on nearby farms. However, the cottage from the outside was absolutely gorgeous. The garden was full of marigold flowers, my favourite and one of the main reasons I looked twice when I saw the picture on the internet.

Eventually, it came to the moving in date and I couldn’t have been more excited. I didn’t care how long it took or how tired I was going to be at the end of the day! All I knew was that tomorrow I would be waking up in my dream home and with no-one else to please but myself and, now that I had retired, I would have all the time in the world to do what I wanted when I wanted. Something I hadn’t ever been able to do before.

It was about 9pm by the time I unloaded the last of my things from the car and the removal men had been and gone. I was exhausted but the happiest I think I had ever felt. I didn’t; even care about the mess – that could all wait until tomorrow. For now, I had a lovely hot shower, made myself some hot chocolate and went to bed to read one of my favourite books again!

The next morning, I had just started to unpack some boxes when there was a know at the door. I obviously didn’t know anyone yet but thought it might be a local just being polite as I went to open the door. It was a tall man roughly my age with a huge smile on his face.

“Hi” he said. “I hope you don’t mind me just popping by, but I knew the previous owner and I helped her to look after the garden as it was a bit big for her to manage on her own. I’m not looking for paid work by the way, but I don’t have my own garden and I used to enjoy pottering around here. And don’t worry about giving me an answer now – I wouldn’t want to put you on the spot!”

For some reason I didn’t hesitate:

“Actually, that would be really nice of you! I will have plenty to keep me going inside the house for now and I can see the garden will need a lot of work. Plus, I’ve never really done any gardening so any help and tips you can give when I’m ready would be great”.

“Of course. No problem” he said. ”My name is Tom by the way”.

“Sandra” I said. “You can just come and go as you please – and I’ll supply the tea or coffee”.

“That’s great” he replied. I’ll probably come over tomorrow if that’s of with you?”

“Yes” I nodded. “Whatever’s good for you. Thank you so much for the offer”.

“No problem” said Tom as he moved off from the door, “I’ll look forward to it. See you tomorrow”.

“See you tomorrow” I repeated as I closed the door.

The next few weeks flew by. I spent a few hours a day cleaning, unpacking and decorating and Tom came most days to work on the garden. And it wasn’t long until he had it looking glorious. He would come in for a coffee most mornings when he arrived and again before he left, and we talked and talked and talked. For the first time as an adult, I did not even think about Tom in any kind of romantic way – previously I always looked on men as the answer to all my problems. If only someone could love me unconditionally and make me feel like I was the most important person in the world to them then I would be happy. However, after months of counselling and with my new outlook on life I just didn’t need that anymore. Talking to and being around Tom proved that to me. Don’t get me wrong. He was actually quite gorgeous, and he was everything I used to look for in a man – kind, helpful, very funny and always very complimentary about me but not in a “I fancy you kind of way”.

We talked about everything - including my disastrous relationships, and my previously unheard of self-esteem or pride in myself. He got me! He understood why I had ended up in those relationships and how, after the first one, it just all spiralled from there. He didn’t talk about himself a lot although he would sometimes use an example from his own life which was enough to make me know he did understand what I was saying. Apparently, he had been in a relationship with someone who hadn’t had any self-esteem but he had taken that as a challenge and he had worked and worked and worked to make sure the love of his life had known how much she was loved and adored before she died.

Then one day he didn’t turn up! Or the next or the next! I started to worry and realised that, stupidly, I had no idea where he lived. I didn’t even know his second name. I had decided that the next day I would go to the village and make some enquiries to see if I could find out if anything had happened to him or if he was ok. So, the next morning I was quite shocked when there was a knock on the door and when I opened it Tom was stood there. I tried not to show how worried I’d been and instead said:

“So you’re back from your holiday then?” with a bit of a laugh.

Tom looked confused for a second before asking:

“I’m sorry, what did you say?”

“Well you haven’t been for a few days. I thought you must have been away somewhere”. I replied with another laugh. “Anyway, not to worry, do you want the usual before you get started?”

“I’m really sorry” said Tom but I honestly don’t know what you ae talking about!” I have just got back after a few months away but I don’t think I have ever met you before”.

Now it was my turn to look confused, but I think it lasted more than a second or two because Tom looked at me with worry on his face as he asked:

“Are you ok?”. “Can I get you some water or something?”

I couldn’t talk. I was trying to understand why Tom would play such a stupid trick on me. We weren’t kids and there wasn’t even a hint of a smile on his face – which was almost impossible for Tom. He always had a smile and a glint in his eye.

Tom led me into the house and sat me at the kitchen table before getting me a glass of water and sitting down opposite me.

“Are you feeling better?” he asked.

“Not really” I answered. “I don’t understand why you would play such a prank on me Tom. I only wondered where you had been for the past few days because you have been coming every day lately”.

It was Tom’s turn to stare now, and he went as white as a sheet.

“Did you say Tom?” he whispered.

“Yes, of course I did” I replied starting to get just a little bit annoyed at this silly game.

“I’m not Tom” said the man sitting opposite me. “But I had a brother called Tom. We were twins”.

“What?” I said shaking my head. “I really don’t understand what you are trying to say”.

The man put his hand in his pocket and slowly pushed a photograph over the table to me. He didn’t say anything, so I picked the photo up. I couldn’t believe my eyes. It was a picture of two Tom’s stood together with their arms over each other’s shoulders. I could see Tom – he was full of smiles and that twinkle in his eye, but the man sat opposite me was not Tom. This man and the man in the picture had haunted eyes. I hadn’t noticed it at first.

“That’s me and my brother Tom”. “It was taken shortly before he died with his wife in a car crash”.

“No, no, no” I muttered. He has been coming here almost every day for over a month. He has been doing the garden for me”.

“Well I know Tom used to do the garden for the lady that lived here before you. He used to pick the marigold flowers for his wife because she loved them so much. He would do anything for her! And me for that matter”.

Jack – the man now sat in front of me proceeded to tell me that his brother Tom had been the kindest man you could meet, and how he had been lucky in love, but Jack had had bad relationship after another with women who just needed a man and not necessarily him. Tom had promised his brother that there would be a woman out there for him somewhere and, when the time was right, they would meet. Jack had gone away after his brother had died but something had brought him back. When he explained to me what it was – we both realised that it had indeed been Tom here the past few weeks. Of course, we didn’t realise straight away exactly, but after spending a few months getting to know each other and talking about Tom and our time together it all became as clear as day!

Jack had been travelling around Europe just missing his brother and feeling sorry for himself. But then one day he had gone back to his hotel room and someone, most likely someone cleaning his room, had left a vase full of Marigold flowers on his table. It was at that moment that Jack just felt something in his heart saying: “It’s time! Time to go home and find your true love”.

We realised that Jack and I were meant to be together. But before that I had to be ready. And Tom had just been making sure I was!!