A Nervous Wait

As soon as she walked in there was a feeling of unease that all eyes were on her as she scurried up and down the aisles of the pharmacy looking for it. She was certain that everyone in there was watching her, knowing what it was that she was looking for, judging her. But of course, they weren’t, not really. She was just a little on edge, that’s all. She’s a self-conscious person anyway and it probably didn’t help that she was in her stinky activewear, having just finished her morning run. She knew that she must’ve looked a sight; windblown, sweaty hair, no makeup, and a flushed face. That Amazon woman with her amazingly tanned body, not a blemish in sight, and perfectly shaped butt she saw in aisle three wasn’t helping the situation either.

Worrying about what everyone else was thinking was distracting her from the task at hand, making it harder to find the bloody things.

Thinking to herself, “where the fuck are they?” as she kept going back and forth and around in circles in the aisles, making sure not to bump into anyone as she whizzed by them, looking up and down the shelves at the same time.

Under normal circumstances, she would’ve just gone up to someone who worked there and asked where to find it, but not this time. Not for this. It was private and besides, she was pretty sure that her deodorant had worn off after that run. She was embarrassed enough as it was, she didn’t want to kill anyone with her stench on top of everything else.

To her, it had felt like hours that she’d been wandering around looking for them, but she made it to the last aisle and there they were, finally. She had a quick look at the different kinds and made a comparison on each, then settled on one and grabbed a pack, “I’ll just grab one, that should be fine,” she thought. She started heading to the checkout when she made a quick diversion down one of the other aisles to grab something else. She didn’t really need anything else; she just had a thought that it wouldn’t be as obvious to everyone who were (apparently) watching what she was buying. If she bought something else along with it, it would seem like it was nothing. Just another run-of-the-mill purchase.

Waiting in line at the checkout, her thoughts diverted to her partner. She hadn’t been seeing him long and wondered what his reaction to all of this would be. It hadn’t yet been a topic for discussion and the connection was just meant to be a bit of fun, really; nothing serious, so she didn’t know how she’d bring it up with him – or even if she had to.

The line didn’t seem to be moving, which was starting to irritate her. She just wanted to pay and get out of there and it wasn’t so much about what she was holding in her hand anymore, it was that she really needed a shower; when you can smell your own body odour, you know it’s bad.

She snapped to attention by the mother and son waiting in the line next to her. They were bickering about something to do with her phone.

“Mum, I’m telling you, you need to reset your password and it’ll fix it,” her son was clearly getting annoyed with her, “give it to me, I’ll do it,” he stops to take a deep breath as he snatches the phone from her.

“Will you just calm down. Everyone is watching. You’re not giving me a chance to work it out for myself, bloody hell!” his mother turned her back on him and looked over at her, seeing what she had in her hand. She chuckled at her, “pffft, I can’t wait for that to happen to me! There’ll be no chance of more of these then, hey,” laughing louder, she points back at her son who’s not paying any attention.

She nervously chuckles, nods, and smiles back at her. She turns away and sighs; she’s saddened a little by what the woman said. She hates those sorts of interactions, but at the same time, the reminder that she’s not alone came through, “we all go through it,” she thought.

As she moves a couple of steps forward in her line, she looks at the pack in her hand, reading the label, ‘Harmony Menopause – helps manage mild symptoms of menopause.’ As she read the list of symptoms, her mind started to calm, and her body relaxed. She thought, “take a breath, reset. It’ll be all right.”

A shout came from the checkout, “Next!”