A Lonely Silence

The bell rings shrilly through the classroom, startling Alyssa. She silently looks around at her classmates as they laugh, throwing books and papers haphazardly into their backpacks. She tries to stand but loses her balance as one of the tall football players pushes past her on his way out of the narrow row of desks. She falls back into her chair, face reddening when she hears a few laughs. Carefully avoiding eye contact, she gathers her books and hurries out of the room.

Lockers slamming shut, running footsteps, and loud conversations echo through the high school hallway. After a couple minutes, the group of girls blocking locker 703 finally walk away so Alyssa can grab her phone and put down her heavy chemistry book.

She taps her phone screen and sighs softly. No messages. Her friends from Pennsylvania were probably just busy. That’s why she hasn’t heard from them in three days. They definitely weren’t ignoring her or forgetting about her existence, right?

As she walks into the bathroom, she stops in front of the mirror, pushing her glasses up a little and running her fingers through her dark curly hair. She pulls a piece of paper from her pocket, unfolding it for the millionth time today. Next up is lunch.

Alyssa sighs and walks slowly toward the lunchroom, following the flow of students. She sits down at an empty table, pulling a brown paper sack from her backpack. A sandwich, an apple, a bag of chips. She eats slowly, hoping against hope that someone will sit with her and make her just a little bit less lonely here. But no such luck. The rest of the day passes in a similar fashion. She’s alone. She’s alone.

…

The next morning, she adjusts her expectations and braces herself for another lonely day at Baldwin High.

“Hey, Al!” her mother’s voice calls just before she climbs out of the car. Alyssa turns and raises her eyebrows. “Today is going to be better. Just wait and see.” She nods once and closes the door behind her, squaring her shoulders before walking up the broad steps to the front doors.

Math, Spanish, lunch, History, English. Math, Spanish, lunch, History, English. The days pass slowly, and she still sits alone at the small table on the side of the lunchroom. It’d be easier if she could actually talk to people. The only time a teacher made her answer a question in class had led to a full minute of her stuttering over every single syllable, the quiet laughter of her classmates making it even worse. How can she expect to make any friends if she can’t even say a word without stuttering?

Her friends from Pennsylvania texted her occasionally, but she really craved friendship here. Friends she could hang out with. Friends to sit with her at lunch. She shakes her head wistfully and walks into the lunchroom again. Maybe one day.

She pulls out the same lunch she eats everyday and glances around the crowded cafeteria. She pauses when she sees another girl at a table on the opposite wall. She’s also alone. Maybe she’s new too!

Alyssa fights with herself for a few moments. What if she’s just waiting on her friends? What if she doesn’t want me to sit with her? She finally steels herself and stands. The worst thing that can happen is rejection. God knows she’s had plenty of that.

The blonde girl looks up as Alyssa approaches and smiles shyly. “Hi! Do you want to sit with me?” the hope in her voice makes Alyssa’s heart ache with familiarity. She nods and sits down with a smile.

“My name is Bailey! What’s yours?” She sticks her hand out with a smile. Alyssa grins back and shakes her hand. She pulls a pen from her pocket and lays her paper bag on the table, slowly writing her name. “Alyssa? Nice to meet you.” Bailey doesn’t even comment on her lack of a verbal response. For the first time since she moved to New Mexico, Alyssa relaxes a bit.

Bailey begins chattering away, asking questions and telling her own stories. She’s new too, and she was so worried she wouldn’t make any friends. Alyssa writes her responses on the bag, and that seems to be more than enough for the other girl.

Bailey grins suddenly and pulls a container from the bright pink lunchbox on the table. “My dad is opening a bakery downtown next week. He packed this giant piece of chocolate cake in my lunch today...enough to share in case I made a new friend. Want some?” The cake looks delicious. The frosting is fluffy and light, just the way Alyssa likes it.

She takes a deep breath and smiles at her new friend. “Y-y-ye-e-es.” Bailey’s eyes widen a little with excitement at the first spoken word she’s heard during lunch.

Alyssa takes the fork from her friend, and they dig in. Maybe this new school isn’t as bad as she thought.