A Little Taste of Heaven

She had tried so hard throughout the school year to not be noticed. This whole idea of going to school was far too big and frightening. She didn't even want to be there, in fact, she'd opted out of going to kindergarten, but The Law said she HAD to go from 1st grade, at least until she was 16. So here she was, trying hard to melt into the walls. At six years old this world was far too noisy and the people here were... strange. The other children, with their constant chatter and boisterous play, seemed like some sort of feral creatures. They were out of control. It overwhelmed her senses and made her head hurt.

Her first five years of life there had only been The Family. They had made it very clear to her that she would only ever be truly safe with The Family. Outsiders were evil. The ones that seemed nice were the most dangerous kind. They were just trying to gain her trust so they could steal her away from The Family and eventually kill her when she was least expecting it. If she allowed for The Outsiders to get to her, The Family would simply forget about her. She would be erased from their memories as if she had never even existed. School was full of The Outsiders and it was terrifying!

Children were meant to be seen and not heard, especially indoors. When they made noise at home, Mama would be transformed into some sort of screaming, crying banshee. At first, she would just cry and shush them to be quiet, but if the noise didn't stop, her tongue would slip between her bottom lip & teeth. She would start to scream, as she grabbed the plainer belt strap from the hook on the kitchen wall. No child within reach could possibly escape. The little girl learned early that when the Mama started to cry and shush it was time to go hide in the closet. She'd cover her ears, but still, the screams were deafening. She'd curl up into a tight ball in the darkness of that closet and cry... terrified that Mama might decide to come looking for her.

As her brothers' screams quieted, she would drift off to sleep only to awaken when the cowbell rang to announce the next meal. She would crawl out from beneath the warm security of the clean linens and make her way to the table. If Mama was there, her eyes would be swollen and red from crying. The Book would be opened on the table and she'd talk of how she hated to beat her children, but the Book said that 'To spare the rod is to spoil the child.' She wanted all the best for them.

There were times though, that Mama would be gone. Big Sister stood in her place. 'You guys are terrible! You've driven Mama over the edge again. She's gone away to rest for a few days.' Those were the best days since Big Sister would never scream or cry, she'd merely chase them all outside, and the plainer belt stayed in its place on the wall.

It seemed there was no 'rod' at school. The children laughed and squealed, jumped, and played, and not one adult would stop them! They even had the nerve to question the things adults would say and teachers calmly answered all of their questions without getting annoyed or smacking them into next week. Surely God would strike these evil beings down! The little girl wanted no part of it.

She'd managed to go through first grade mostly unnoticed, but then one day she went to her cubby to discover that her bag lunch was gone. Tears welled up in her eyes, as her stomach growled. That bowl of cereal she'd had for breakfast was surely not going to keep her going to the end of the day. If she called home, it would likely send Mama over the edge again. What was she to do?

A group of girls approached her. They invited her to come home with them, as their Mom would gladly give her some lunch. She hesitated for a moment, but the hunger pains won her over and she agreed. When they arrived at the other girl's house, they didn't go inside. The little girl was terrified as these other girls led her instead to a tiny house in the backyard. What in the name of all that is holy was this? The other girls explained that it was Leah's playhouse. The little girl had never heard of such a thing!

They stepped inside to a whimsical world that was every little girl's dream come true. Pretty and pink, sparkling with glitter, a banner hung on one wall that read 'Happy Birthday'. The other girls began to sing a forbidden song, as she spotted the feast laid out on a small table along with neatly wrapped gifts. What sort of trickery was this? The girls explained that they had noticed that she'd missed school on her 'special day' and when they asked their parents about it, they were told that her family didn't celebrate those things.

The little girl had never even heard of celebrating birthdays! She was in awe to see all the things the other girls had put together just for her. Tasty snacks and a carefully decorated, fancy chocolate cake. Moist and delicious, it tasted just like Heaven. Her heart pounded as she carefully unwrapped gifts, not wanting to tear the pretty paper. One of the other girls finally grabbed one and said 'Here, let me show you... THIS is how it's done!' as she madly tore the wrapping off the gift.

The girls didn't even hear the afternoon bell. They stayed in that playhouse all afternoon. Laughing, playing, even squealing with joy, and not once did anyone shush them. When the last bell rang from a few blocks away, the little girl's heart filled with terror, as she realized what she had just done. The other girls quickly packed her gifts into her school bag, as the little girl sat, frozen and wide-eyed in terror.

She raced home, only to be met at the door by Mama. Mama's eyes were swollen and red from crying. She tightly clutched the strap behind her back. 'The school phoned. Where have you been?'

With a racing heart, the girl stuttered, 'I couldn't find my lunch, so Leah took me home to eat. We missed the bell.'

Tears streamed silently down her cheeks, as Mama took her hand and they walked silently down the hall to the bedroom. Mama had her bare her behind and bend over the edge of the bed. Mama sobbed as she said, 'You know I wouldn't be doing this if I didn't love you, it hurts me so much more than it could ever hurt you. I don't know how else to make you understand... The Outsiders are evil and dangerous! All they want to do is steal you away from The Family so that you'll wither and die!'

The little girl clenched her tiny fists into the blankets and closed her eyes tight. She knew that if she made a sound it would be much worse. She bit into her lip and envisioned all things pretty and pink, a shimmering birthday banner, and the moist, delicious chocolate cake.

Years had passed. The little girl's hair was now grey. The Family and their dark secrets had been left behind long, long ago. She had found peace and calm amongst The Outsiders, acceptance, and truly unconditional love. A single tear trickled down her cheek as she watched the cocoa transform her granddaughter's chocolate cake batter from a creamy white to a rich brown. She pondered what life would have been like had she not had that first taste of moist decadence. She chuckled at the thought that her life, like cake, would have been bland and vanilla. She very well might have stayed with The Family. Now she was blessed with a life as rich as that cake.