A Happy Ending

Liars, all of us are. How can we not be? We meet someone and flaunt our best selves in the hopes of acceptance. Society demands that we hide our demons and flaws and fib with our smiles and cheery demeanors. The truth about the skeletons in our closets is traded for happy endings and fairytales dreams to further sell the lie of who we want to be. But every relationship starts like this. Every relationship except this one. We skipped the fake pleasantries and laid it all on the table in the beginning. We weren’t afraid to show the messy truth of our lives and from that we built something amazing. Now we can be ourselves, and have a love that accepts our darkness within.

The smell of the rose petals that cling to our sweat soaked bodies fills my nostrils. The champagne bubbles have long since died but I can still taste their sweetness on his lips. The candle’s flames dance and flicker with the little life they have left in them and cast shadows of our passion across the walls. Gasping for both life and air he finally turns me loose. My whole body quivers and there’s a tingling surging through every inch of my soul. This man, this man! No one has ever catered to my body more. He’s in sync with all my desires and passions and ignites a fire in my heart. He tells me all the little lies I need to hear about my body, ignoring my stretch marks and baby pouch from two kids. And he tells me in a way that I start to believe the lies myself. But I want more.

Sweat drips from his bald head and onto the muscles of his back. I flick the rose petals off him and savor the sight of this man. His hazel eyes sparkle in the candle light and they never stray too far from my body. Those eyes caress every curve, every blemish, and every unsightly part of my body and yearn for more. He swears there’s no woman who looks better and I swoon at the small untruths falling from his lips. His large hands grab my waist and his bottom lip is about to pop if he bites it any harder. It’s been too long of a break and he’s ready for more. But I can’t hold this in any longer.

“Wait hunnie I need to talk to you.” He kisses my legs and looks up at me with a school boy grin. He doesn’t say a word but I know he’s listening.

“I want a divorce…” Immediately the kisses stop and he sits straight up in the bed. I’ve never seen his eyes so wide. “Wow…. I mean I wasn’t expecting that. You really kinda came outta nowhere with that one. Are you sure?” He says, rubbing the confusion from his face.

“Yea, I mean I’ve thought about it for a while now.” I say twisting my wedding ring around my finger. The metal feels so light and the diamonds seem dull to me now that words have finally escaped my mouth.

“I dunno what to say…” He says wrapping himself up in the white sheets, immediately covering his naked body. “I mean there’s nothing to say. We’ve been doing this for so long now, I feel like it’s just time.” He doesn’t say anything but I can see the cog wheels turning in his mind. That’s just who he is. Working out everything from A-Z until he responds.

The silence is growing stale and the mood is officially killed. I slip out of the bed trampling rose petals on my way to the bathroom. “What about the girls?” He yells from the room. Honestly I haven’t given them too much thought. Leave it to him to analyze the fuck outta this. I flush the toilet and watch the tissue and my marriage to James go down the drain. I re-enter the room “What?” I ask, pretending I didn’t hear him. “What about the girls?” he asks again. “What do you mean?” Again I play dumb knowing full well the gravity of what he means. “How do you expect them to handle something like this?” He says, and he really sounds concerned which is surprising. “Well Mari is 16, and she will be off to college soon, Kamryn is young but she’ll get over it I’m sure.” His eyes pierce through the darkness and judge me for wanting to be happy. I can feel him itching to remind me of his childhood when his mother left him and his father and how he felt abandoned. I cut it off at the head. “Look I’m not abandoning them, besides they’ll probably want to stay with me anyway.”

”Yea I know…It’ll be good.” A lie he didn’t have to tell.

We’re silent again. The shadows on the wall that once showed two souls entangled in lustful passion, now shows two people sitting on the either side of the ocean. Finally the alarm on his phone goes off. It’s the only sound that’s come out of the room for what feels like an eternity. “Look, uhm, I gotta go.” He says. I know the deal, we’ve done this so many times he really didn’t have to say a word. I just hate it.

He gets dressed faster than a NASCAR pit crew. Before I can button my blouse he’s already halfway to the door. There are many things I love about the man but he is never ready to have the hard conversations. I quickly put on my heels and place my room key on the nightstand. We exit the hotel room and our usual banter and laughter is gone. He pushes the elevator button seven times until finally I take his hand away. “It’s gonna be ok babe.” I tell him and offer him a smile. “We do this once a month because it's the only day James plays poker with his friends. I want more than that, I want more of you. Don’t you?” I ask. “Well I mean are you expecting me to divorce Maria? Because I will do it for you, ya know…and then you and I can get married!” His voice trembles as the words leave his lips. The elevator finally arrives and we step inside. And there it is, he’s lying again. But it’s not like the ones he says about my body, this one is a real lie, one that even he can’t even convince himself of. He’s never going to leave Maria.

The elevator door opens, releasing two prisoners held by the truths of their lives. The vile honesty holds each of us to our predestined path; he goes his way and I go mine. Like two perfect strangers, both insignificant to the other. The weight of each of our wedding bands lay heavy on our hands that night. I go home and kiss James my none the wiser husband and keep living in my lie. Tonight I carry on the fairytale ending and hide my sins for another day for the sake of my relationship. Tonight I’m who society wants to see, a happy, loving, and caring wife because everyone expects a happy ending regardless of the truth.

-End