A Grimm Cinderella

When I was young, I read a lot on my own. My mom started me off with the classic fairy tales-- Cinderella, Beauty and the Beast, Jack and the Beanstalk -- what she didn’t tell me was that the original Brothers Grimm versions of those same stories were absolutely terrifying.

Unfortunately, I found out by myself. One of my favorite places when I was young was my local library. It was quiet, peaceful, and somewhere I could be completely alone, not to mention the bus route was easy to use, something that was pretty great as a kid, considering I wouldn’t get my drivers license for about ten years.

One of the first books I checked out from the library was the original Brothers Grimm complete works. It was a tough read for a child, but the reading level was nothing compared to the content. One that’s really stuck with me over the years is the original tale of Cinderella. I was shocked by the differences between the Cinderella that I had been read and the one in this book.

The tale of Cinderella was absolutely sinister. I’ll give them this-- the prince and Cinderella do get their happy ending, but not without a cost. To be completely accurate, I should mention that Cinderella’s name was actually originally Aschenputtel. Aschenputtel. And Aschenputtel is a badass.

This girl is definitely a witch, and I mean that in the most flattering way possible. She does have magic birds-- the modern version got that part right-- but these birds have got some attitude; Cinderella would never have gotten to the ball without these little devils.

In the modern story, Cinderella has to sneak around her evil stepmother to get to the ball, but the Brothers Grimm had no such subtlety. In fact, she’s fully aware that Cinderella wants to go to the ball, but she’s not going to let her get away with it without a challenge. She throws two full cups of lentils--yeah, apparently the evil stepmother is kind of obsessed with lentils--into the ash from the fireplace and tells Cinderella that if she wants to go to the ball, she has to pull each one out of the ash. And that’s where the birds come in. These boys pick those lentils right out of the ashes and stick them right into Cinderella’s pot, and she didn’t have to lift a finger. Don’t get me wrong though--the birds are nowhere near finished, and you’ll see why.

A nice hot take I have on this story is that the “evil” stepsisters are absolute troopers; it can’t be argued that they really do put in the work. When Prince Charming is running around with that (highly breakable) shoe, those strong, independent women are so determined to fit into it, that they cut. Their. Toes. Off. I can’t stress enough how gory this scene is. The shoes fill with blood, while those nasty little birds sing a song about it.

When I say these sisters put in the work, I mean it. When Cinderella and the prince are about to have their happy ending, these girls decide that they’re going to walk down the aisle with her--why they decided to do that though is beyond me; definitely a grave mistake. In order to help Cinderella, they decide that it’s a good idea to simply peck out the sisters’ eyes, blinding them. That’ll fix it, right?

That’s not where the sinister nature of this story ends though. In the modern Cinderella, her fairy godmother is just that--a fairy godmother. However, the Brothers Grimm apparently didn’t think this was quite fitting for the story. In this version, the “fairy godmother” is actually a tree, planted over her dead mother’s grave. If she wants her wishes granted, Cinderella has to water the tree with her own tears. Morbid.

When it comes to Prince Charming, I have to say I am not a fan. This guy is predatory. In order to find his bride (with her shoe...), he sets a series of traps for her. Not a great start to the marriage in my opinion. After the ball, he smears asphalt all over the steps so her shoe falls off. Apparently he didn’t consider the possibility that she trips and gets a big old bump on her head. I’m kidding--this doesn’t happen, but imagine.

This entitled little prince isn’t done, though. When he finds out where Cinderella lives, he chases her into a chicken coop and up a tree. Personally, I would be a little freaked out if my charming suitor came to my house and hunted me, but I guess that’s just how he rolls. I just have to wonder where those birds were then--kind of seems like a potentially big moment for them.

What I gathered from this story as an eight year old was that I should really invest in some magic birds. But seriously, think about reading that story as a little kid. Perhaps that’s why I’m like this--it definitely skewed my idea of what a happy ending was.