A Fraud's Fortune

“All of this is so insightful. Thank you, you’ve saved my life!”

I sat there with the biggest grin on my face as my last client for the day thanked me.

“How can I ever repay you?” she asked.

“By paying me!” I exclaimed jokingly.

Only, I meant it.

Nothing was more important to me than my clients, except the money they’re supposed to give me after every reading. As she left the shop I raced to lock the door behind her and draw the blinds.

My pet owl, Mr. Sage sat peacefully on his wooden perch while I counted the day’s earnings.

Sometimes, I think he knows.

“Two thousand dollars in a day, bay-bay!” I exclaimed as I waved a handful of hundred dollar bills in the air.

I packed up my Tarot Cards, turned off the lights in the fortune telling room, gathered the rest of my things and headed towards the door.

“Come on wise, old man.” I said as I whistled to Mr. Sage.

He spread his big, beautiful wings and flew towards me to then perch on my shoulder as we left.

……………………………………………………………………………………………..

The next day comes and I arrive at my shop. Standing outside before I unlocked the door, I thought to myself; what an empire I’ve built.

“Ah, Saturdays!” I exclaimed as I entered.

Mr. Sage left my shoulder and proceeded to rest on his perch like he usually does. I began to set up for opening and went into the fortune telling room to make sure everything was in order.

About half an hour passed, the shop was now open and it was only a matter of time before the penniless, loveless and hopeless waltzed in to get insight that could save their lives. Man, was I honorable. I drank my beet juice and read one of my favorite books; entitled “Karma”.

“Hmm. You know, the concept of things swinging back around to get someone has always been interesting to me. What if they just don’t care? Do owls believe in Karma wise, old man? You probably have no idea what that is.” I said tauntingly.

“Yes, I believe in Karma. I also wish you’d stop calling me that.” He replied.

“WHAT THE F-“

“Language!” He interrupted.

I stood there in shock, staring at him as he stared back. There was a moment of complete silence in the shop. After about twenty seconds, I burst into a hearty laughter.

“This isn’t real, it’s gotta be this stupid beet juice.” I said.

I picked up the phone and went into the fortune telling room to call my sister who gifted me the juice.

“Kiki, why’d you put drugs in my drink? I told you I never wanted to try psychedelics!” I exclaimed.

“What are you talking about, Moon?” She questioned.

“I know you tried to get me high, Kiara. Mr. Sage answered my question this morning, with words! How is that possible without drugs?!”

“First of all, I’d never let you try psychedelics without consent. I really don’t know what you’re talking about, sis. Secondly, doesn’t he always respond to you? I don’t get it, is this a joke?”

There was a connotation of innocence in her voice, she really didn’t know what I was talking about.

“Hello?” she said.

“It was a mistake, I gotta go. Hope you’re great sis. Bye.” I replied as I rushed off the phone call.

I stood in the room for a minute, alone, trying to figure out what was happening and what to do. The only place I’ve seen talking animals was on TV. The idea that a bird I’ve owned for three years just spoke to me, was making my head spin.

“Are you done? Staying in there won’t help you, you’re going to have to face yourself. Then again, you can’t even face me.” Said Mr. Sage from the front room.

I scanned the room I was in for a weapon and eventually grabbed the crystal ball that was on the table. I took a peek around the corner, then took a big breath and tossed it with all my might. There was a huge crash followed by complete silence.

“Oh my God. I killed my bird. Oh God, no. No, no, no. I’m sorry.” I said as I ran out of the room.

I came to an abrupt halt to observe the mess I made, then slowly walked towards the area of his perch. A horrible feeling of guilt came over me, along with the expectancy of seeing his feathery, lifeless body.

“Good to know that even scammers have hearts.” He said from behind me.

He was perched on the Rose Quartz lamp that sat next to the front door. I exhaled. It was an exhale of both relief and annoyance.

“Okay, I’m clearly not high. What’s going on? Why can I suddenly hear you talk?” I asked.

“You have psychic powers. That’s why.” He replied.

“No, I don’t.” I countered.

“Oh, really? That’s strange, because you’ve had this metaphysical store for three years and have been “saving people” since. Could’ve sworn you were psychic.”

“Yeah I had this store, doing the things you said I did, but it wasn’t real, I don’t’ have any powe-“

Then it hit me…. Karma.

“Oh my god, my novel has become my life. Next, I’m gonna die. Just like the lady from my book, I just know it.” I said nervously, pacing back and forth in the shop.

“You should probably figure it out soon little miss mystic, your 11 o’clock appointment just pulled up in the parking lot.” He said.

I wiped the panic off of my face and proceeded to quickly clean the mess on the floor. As the customer entered, I sensed an energy of sadness over him. He booked last minute the night before and left a note saying that he really needed guidance. I led him into the fortune telling room and we sat down. He begins to explain that his wife has been unusually distant from him and he couldn’t figure out why. As he’s laying his heart out on the table, I realize; this is actually great.

Now that I’ve been gifted with these psychic powers, I can give the truth and get paid. This wasn’t a curse, this was a blessing. I didn’t even need the cards to solidify anything, I somehow already knew the solution.

“Unfortunately, your wife has fallen out of love with you. The only way to win her love back, is to address the fact that there’s a third party in the relationship.” I said.

“Third party?!” He exclaimed.

“Yes.” I replied.

Then, it goes sour.

“Are you telling me she’s cheating on me? This isn’t what I wanted to hear!”

“I’m sorry David, The Source gave me a message and I’m just the messenger. I didn’t mean to upset you. It’s not usually about what we want to hear but more so what we need to hear.”

“To hell with this and to hell with you!” He exclaimed as he got up furiously.

I could hear a chuckle coming from the front room, it was Mr. Sage.

“Oh me, oh my. Trouble in paradise!” Mr. Sage exclaimed jokingly.

I couldn’t tell if he was talking about this disaster of a session or the disaster in David’s marriage.

David continued to storm towards the door. He didn’t respond to Mr. Sage in any way, this was confirmation that it was still just me living this nightmare. Then again, maybe David had it worse than me.

“Wait a minute, my money!” I exclaimed as I ran out of the shop.

It was too late, David had already sped off, leaving tire marks in the parking lot.

“I don’t get it!” I yelled, as I entered the shop.

“I did the right thing, I followed my intuition, and I delivered the truth. Why am I getting the bad end of the stick? This makes no sense.” I continued.

“It’s not easy being psychic huh?” Said Mr. Sage.

For a moment, there was silence. As I sat quietly, with nothing to defend my wrongs, I realized Mr. Sage had a point. I’ve used the sadness and hopelessness of others to gain a profit over the years. The worst part of it was that I considered it to be an empire. How could I use the weak points of other human beings for my own benefit? I wasn’t honorable, I was horrible.

“Your actions were horrible, not you.” Said Mr. Sage.

“Oh we’re intruding thoughts now?” I replied.

“I have to find a way to fix this. I was wrong for what I did.”

“Well, you are psychic for the time being. You know exactly what you have to do.” He replied.

He was right, I had to right my wrongs.

“I know you hate the nickname, but you really are a wise, old man.” I said jokingly.

I used the rest of the day to begin reinventing my business.

………………………………………………………………………………………………………

With a little renovation there, another chat with Mr. Sage here, and some very hard-working weeks later, I had opened a new café! My metaphysical store never had a name, just a big ole’ sign that said “We’re open.” Not to mention the unseen sign that read “I’m going to take all of your money.”

This time, I named it. The café was called “The Rest Realm”.

The metaphysical store was now transformed into a safe space. Anyone who was going through a tough time could stop by for a free “Relaxation Recipe” experience. It included personalized sounds, positive affirmation cards and servings of organic smoothies, all grouped by the dominant emotion that the customer may be feeling. Not to mention, they were free of charge! The mission was to assist the people of the community in alleviating emotional, spiritual and mental pain. What was even more beautiful was that whenever someone came in, they’d always make sure to tip. The service resonated with them, I didn’t need to trick them in order to get their money.

…………………………………………………………………………………………………….

“Thanks so much, Moon! What you’re doing is amazing, seriously.” Said Ava, a new regular visitor.

“No, thank you! I’m just trying to right my wrongs. Haha.” I replied.

“Well, all is forgiven!” she exclaimed as she left the café.

After she left, I cleaned up the café and then gathered my things. As I headed towards the door I whistled to Mr. Sage. He flew from his new Amethyst colored perch onto my head.

“Hey!” I exclaimed.

“That new perch wasn’t enough for ya?” I asked jokingly.

“Hooooooot” He replied.

A hoot? No more words? Have I finally paid my karmic debt? Perhaps Ava was right, perhaps all is forgiven. I stood there thinking for a minute before my train of thoughts were interrupted.

“HOOOOOOOOOT!” exclaimed Mr. Sage.

“Huh? Oh. You’re right, it has been a day. Let’s go home, my friend.” I said.

Though he couldn’t ‘speak’ anymore, I feel like I understood him more than ever now. He wasn’t just an “old, wise man” in an owl’s body, Mr. Sage was my best friend.

As we got into my car and left, I looked back at the café for a short second and thought to myself;

What an empire I’ve built. Honestly.