A Consolidation of Parts

Click Clack. Click Clack, Click Clack. A symphony of rhythmic bumps from a train was perfectly paired with a barrage of raindrops to make a white noise suitable for the deepest sleep. These sounds lullabied Elliot as his long torso, trying to make the most of a tight space, was spread out over a train compartment bench. His legs likewise dangled off the side until his feet touched the floor. On a normal day, Elliot would have looked professional as he was always dressed nicely from top to bottom ready to impress and wow all the clients he regularly saw. Today was no different. He wore a pristine blue suit, with golden cufflinks and a clean pair of polished shoes. However, if someone were to look at him at this moment they would see his suit twisted up underneath him with a shirt untucked, and a mouth wide open, snoring.

He stayed like this for some time until the white noise of train and rain was broken by a seismic flash and a crackle of thunder. It was at this moment he woke up. Confused, he rose up blinking slowly and wiping his eyes with the backs of his fist. Looking around he realized he was in a train compartment. He sat on a very nice brown leather bench with dark wooden edging. Above him hung a strange light fixture, that looked like a collage of broken glass covering a bulb. The window was a peculiar triangular shape, something he hadn’t seen before.

Where the hell am I, he wondered.

He got real close and pressed his eyes against the triangular window trying to see where he could be. But all he saw was darkness. Anything past the darkness was obscured further by the mist of the suiciding raindrops on the window. It was of no use. Eliot withdrew from the window and it was then that he noticed himself.

Appalled by the mess, he began tucking in his shirt and smoothing out whatever wrinkles he could. As his hands pushed the wrinkles downward they eventually ran into his pockets. They were empty. He reached in calmly and then dug around more frantically. He unturned every pocket to find nothing. His phone, keys, and wallet were all gone. Not even a train ticket was found. Scanning the compartment up and down he thought surely I must have dropped it here. But the compartment was empty.

There was a pause from Eliot as he tried to figure out what happened to his stuff. Then he felt it. His phone vibrated from inside his pants pocket he was sure of it. How could I have missed it he thought while reaching down. But his phone wasn’t in his pocket. It was a piece of paper, a singular strip of paper about the size of a fortune that could be found inside of a Chinese fortune cookie. Curiously he turned it over in his fingers until he saw the words on the back of it.

You are here to see your mother

A cataclysm of thoughts bounced in his head.

“What? This makes no sense. She has been dead for so long now. What is this stupid paper anyway? How could it have gotten in my pocket? I swear it vibrated too. But what about mom how does she play into all this? This is so stupid.”

Harshly now, he approached the door to the compartment. Looking both ways he saw nothing but other compartments exactly like his own. However, unlike his, they were all empty. He tried the door only to find it locked. Again, he wiggled the handle to find the result hadn’t changed. He then began banging on the glass.

“Hey, let me out he yelled!”

There was no response, so he banged a little louder and shouted a little more.

“Let me out of here!”

Growing worried that maybe someone was keeping him here he opted for a baseless threat.

“My company is going to be furious when they find out I missed my meeting.”

There was no response, but he did see something now. Out of the corner of Eliot’s eye was a small child. Turning to look in that direction he couldn’t believe what he saw. It wasn’t just any child. It was him as a boy, with the same haircut and the same clothes. He was sure of it. It was impossible not to recognize the face he had seen so many times in photos. And if to assure beyond any doubt that this child was him he saw a stuffed elephant missing an ear wedged between the child’s arms. It was Alexander, Eliot’s favorite toy from his youth.

The child opened the door pulling Eliot out of his trance.

“Who are you?” Eliot asked.

The child stood silent clutching his stuffed elephant. After, a brief pause he grabbed Eliot’s hand and attempted to pull him toward one of the dozens of train compartments in the area. Eliot resisted, but after some consideration decided he could trust the child. After all, the child was him.

There were at least a dozen train compartments in this area including the one Eliot woke up in. However, all the others were empty. The whole situation was unnerving for Eliot. Not only was he alone on this unfamiliar train he was being pulled around by an exact duplicate of himself only younger.

They arrived at the very first train compartment in this long row. The child let go of his hand and entered the compartment. He began knocking on the walls and tapping on the seat as if he was checking for something.

“What’s going on? What are you looking for?”

The child didn’t respond. He just kept knocking around the compartment. Then he went to the next one.

“Hey come on kid. I really need to get off this train. I have my final meeting with this client. What’s going on are you deaf?”

The kid didn’t say anything but continued searching while hopping around excitedly almost as if he was playing a game. Eliot, seeing that the child wasn’t taking this seriously decided to speak a little more forcefully.

“Listen to me! You need to show me the way outta here right now. Cut this out.”

The child did respond this time. He turned and looked at Eliot. The excitement left his face. He sulked and shied away. He walked out of the room avoiding eye contact before he went to the next room and began tapping this time more slowly.

Letting out a big sigh, Eliot walked over to the child and turned him around forcefully while gripping his shoulders so that they were standing opposite one another.

“I need to get out of here! Or at least I need to know what’s going on!”

The child’s head sunk dodging further eye contact with Eliot.

“You are going to show me the way. Ok? Do you understand?”

The boy nodded his head but continued looking down. Eliot freed the boy from his grasp.

“Ok, let’s go,” he said in a much calmer voice now.

The child slowly walked out of the compartment and made his way towards the front where there was a closed door. Eliot followed behind satisfied by the child’s cooperation. The child grabbed the handle and looked back at Eliot before opening the door. In front of them was an entire room scattered with toys and children’s things. In one corner was a set of bean bag chairs and in the other was a pile of action figures. It was a child’s dream.

“What is this?” Eliot asked astonished.

The child didn’t answer. He clutched his stuffed elephant tight in his arms and walked over to one of the toy mounds where he sat down next to a coloring book and began to color.

“Fine, I’ll find my own way out.”

In his line of sight on the other side of this toy room was a door that seemed to be the exit to this train car. Eliot quickly began walking towards it. Before he made it there, the door burst open, and a strong wind from the outside blew in.

“There he is.”

A booming voice came from a man who stood at the entrance to the train car. He was wearing a damp dark train conductor’s uniform with a vest and tie to match. His right arm wrapped around a small chest that he kept tucked close to his body while his left hand reached up and began shaking out the rain-soaked hat. Eliot watched the conductor as he did this with the most confounded look on his face. Once again, he couldn’t believe what he saw. It was himself. The only difference Eliot perceived was a slightly aged face and a goatee, but make no mistake it was him.

Placing the hat back on his head, the man walked over to Eliot and reached out his hand as a greeting.

“Pleasure to meet you, Eliot, I’ve been looking for you everywhere on this train. I’m terribly sorry we didn’t find you sooner, and even more sorry you ended up here.” The conductor said this while he glanced over at the small child. A hint of disgust began to creep into his smile.

Skeptical, Eliot reached out his hand to meet the conductor. The conductor smiled back and gave Eliot a nice firm handshake that lasted a second too long because Eliot was so confused by shaking his own hand.

“Look,” Eliot said as he let go of the conductor’s confident grasp. “I don’t know what’s going on here and I need some answers. I’m on a random train staring at two different versions of myself. This one isn’t helping.” he said pointing to the child.

“Meanwhile, I don’t even know how the hell I got here. I have no phone, no belongings, nothing. On top of all that I had a pretty important meeting today. And another thing —“

The Conductor let out a boisterous laugh and walked over to Eliot slinging his arm over his shoulder.

“Eliot, my good man. There is nothing to worry about. I’m surprised you haven’t realized it by now. You are dreaming.”

“A dream…” Eliot’s voice trailed off as he said this. Of course, this is a dream. It’s the only thing that makes sense. It is the only reasonable explanation. But, as much sense as this made one question was still floating in the air.

“Ok, so if we are in a dream then why are we on this train? ” Eliot said suspiciously.

The conductor let out another hearty laugh.

“Another easy question, we are currently riding full steam ahead to wake you up.”

“To wake me up? What?! But, why do I need to be woken up.” Eliot asked puzzled. “Just let me sleep.”

The conductor let go of his grip on Eliot’s shoulder and pulled away so that he could see Eliot now.

“Very unlucky stuff, you fell asleep on the train on the way to your meeting. We are trying to wake you up as quickly as possible.” As the conductor said this Eliot noticed him readjust the way he was holding the small chest under his arm.

“Why don’t you follow me further up the train? With two hours left, I can find you some entertainment to pass the time.”

Eliot thought about this proposal for a second while reaching down in his pocket and feeling the slip of paper he had before. Something isn’t adding up he thought. But, everything the conductor has said so far seems to make sense.

Eliot finally looked at the conductor and gave him a nod of approval.

“But what about the child?” Eliot asked turning his head back and looking at the sad child sitting down and playing with his stuffed elephant Alexander.

“Don’t worry about him, he plays in here all the time. Basically, lives here. “

“Ok then, I might as well pass the time in a fun way.”

“Very good. I’ll take you over to the lounge. I have plenty of friends waiting for you there. And of course, drinks too. ”

The conductor threw his arm back around Eliot and escorted him over to the door. A giant gust of wind hit them in the face as the conductor opened the door.

“Quickly through here” The conductor signaled. Eliot had no time to think with the rain pouring in and the wind blowing around viciously. He ducked his head low and followed the conductor out into the storm as they made their way to the next train car.

It’s incredible how wet they got while traveling only 6 feet. As soon as Eliot got in the door he began shaking out his sleeves and wiping the rain out of his face. He was distracted from what was in front of him, but the loud music playing caught his attention soon enough. It was one of his favorite songs.

“Hey I love this so—“ Eliot said. But he couldn’t finish because he was captivated by the scene in front of him.

This train car wasn’t a train car at all. It was a very lavish and modern bar. Leather chairs and couches were combined to form hang-out areas with candle-lit tables as centerpieces. In the center of the whole thing sat an overwhelmingly impressive circular bar. Eliot couldn’t decide if the impressiveness came from its beauty or its infinite variety of drink options. However, there was something else in this train car more entrancing than the beauty and the lavishness. It was the people. The entire room was packed with people, and not just random people. They were all people he knew. In one corner sat his 3rd-grade teacher with his high school coach. In another corner was his cousin chatting it up with his ex-girlfriend’s dad.

The conductor looked at the surprised expression on Eliot’s face.

“I figured you would enjoy this. Go ahead!” he said ushering Eliot forward with his free arm.

Elliot began walking forward. He turned back to thank the conductor, but the conductor was no longer there. Eliot saw him clutching the small chest and walking away through the crowd.

Eliot continued forward just trying to make it to the central bar, but the place was so packed.

“O sorry,” he said bumping into someone. It was his grandmother who wrapped her arms around him trying to give him a big kiss.

“I haven’t seen you in ages!” she yelled over the music. “Come tell me what’s been going on. ”

“I’m sorry, I can’t right now granny,” Eliot said peeling her arms off of him as she looked at him with sad eyes. Once free, he walked further, but he took only a few steps before he ran into someone else. This time his uncle backed into him.

“Eliot is that you? Good to see you. Your aunt and me were just debating something. Come help us settle it.”

“Maybe in a second. Let me get a drink first.”

Eliot had no intention of returning. Finally making it, he placed his hands on the bar and climbed on top of a barstool.

“What’ll you have?”

The bartender approached and Eliot couldn’t help but notice he too looked exactly like him.

“Not this again.” Eliot shook his head. “Just give me a Moscow Mule.”

After Eliot got his drink he began to relax and settle into his seat. He was enjoying the music and a degree of comfortability began to sink in. He began scanning the crowd looking at all the individual people. It was incredible that he knew everyone. He wanted to talk to some of them, but before he could decide he felt a hand on his shoulder.

“Well shit, look who it is”

Eliot turned around to find one of his childhood friends with a huge grin on his face.

“Trevor, I haven’t seen you in so long. Look at you all grown up now.”

“Look whose talking, I can say the same for you. Man, I used to love coming over to your house man. Your mom was always making cookies for us,” he said rubbing his belly.

“Those were the best times. I remember you leaving the stupid origami animals lying around my house and driving my family crazy.”

“Driving your family crazy was my favorite pastime.”

Trevor reached over for one of the napkins on the bar.

“Ok, what animal do you want me to make? For old time’s sake.”

“If you’re making me pick then an elephant.”

Eliot felt so happy catching up with his friend. The conversation continued and an hour passed before Eliot realized it. The child, the conductor, and the weird notes in his pocket were all just becoming memories. Meanwhile, Eliot was just focused on this moment laughing and having drinks with Trevor. At least, that’s how it was going until Eliot felt another vibration again.

All of a sudden, deep anxiety grasped him. Not this again, he thought.

“One minute,” Eliot said holding up a finger to his friend Trevor.

He reached in his pocket. The only thing he felt was that same piece of paper from earlier. He wrapped his fingers around it tightly debating whether to read it or not.

“You ok?” Trevor asked.

“Yea, I’m good”

He pulled the paper out and immediately started looking for the words on it. The previous words had vanished and he was left with a new message.

Don’t forget why you are here.

“What ya got there?” Trevor asked curiously.

“O this, just some trash I picked up.” Eliot lied. He started looking around again. It was difficult to pick someone out of this big crowd, but he didn’t see his mother at all. It didn’t make sense and this made Eliot uncomfortable. Maybe, it was because she’s dead, but that doesn’t add up because Uncle Ricky is dead and I see him over there Eliot thought. Something wasn’t right. Shakily putting the paper back in his pocket, he leaned in closer to Trevor.

“Hey Trevor, you haven’t seen my mom around here have you?

As soon as Eliot finished speaking the music came to an abrupt stop. Trevor just stared back at him with a face of worry. The crowd noise began to fade and all Eliot heard was undecipherable mumbling. Eliot felt the pressure of all the eyes in the room burning through him. And although he couldn’t hear their words he grew red because he knew they were talking about him.

From the far side of the train car, the door opened up. The conductor appeared in his dark suit with the small chest under his arm again. Parting the crowd fighting through the many gossiping bodies he finally reached Eliot.

“Eliot my good boy, are you not having fun here? Could I interest you in some other entertainment? Perhaps skiing, or even a movie?”

“No?” Eliot said in a confused voice while standing up to meet the conductor. “What’s going on here? I asked Trevor if he saw my mom and then everything stopped.”

“Yea,” he said looking around at the crowd of gossiping people “The topic has been a rather upsetting one after she passed.”

A hint of anger got caught in Eliot's throat.

“I mean yea, it’s upsetting, but that doesn’t mean we can’t talk about it. I mean where is she anyway? I see everyone I know in here except her. ”

The conductor growing visibly uncomfortable reared away from Eliot clinching the chest tight and tucking it a little further into his suit.

“Is she in that box?” The anger that was stuck in Eliot’s throat began to come out. “Is that where she is?

Elliot made a move toward the silent conductor. Just as he did this the conductor made a hand signal and the crowds of people began to grab Elliot. Elliot fought back. He slapped off Trevor’s hand first and then pushed him aside. Someone behind him grabbed his shoulder and he shrugged that off while he made progress towards the conductor. But the closer he got to the conductor the tighter the crowd of people got around him.

“Get back here.” Eliot screamed “You can’t do this. You are me. Bring me that box!.”

The conductor ignored him completely turning around and walking away. It wasn’t long until the crowd had full control over Eliot. He tried to yell, but a random hand was covering his mouth. He was completely restrained at this moment, and the crowd began pushing him closer and closer to the door that he first entered. The door flung open in front of him and he was pushed out onto the slippery deck of the rain car. The door closed immediately behind him.

“Let me in!” Eliot yelled furiously banging his fists on that door. He pulled at the handle over and over again while the rain was pouring down drenching the pristine business suit he was in.

“Dammit,” he yelled as he continued to turn the door handle in futility. Elliot finally gave one last attempt at banging on the door while yelling. It was unsuccessful. No one answered. Eliot turned around and placed his back on the wall before sliding down slowly onto the floor. Elliot began to cry.

He sat there crying until his clothes were completely soaked at which point he got up and folded his wet hair out of his face. He walked to the other train car and opened the door. The child was still on the floor with the same elephant from earlier in his hand staring at the wet man that just walked in.

He appeared to be in the same spot as earlier, but it seems he had put away his coloring book and was now working on a wooden puzzle. Eliot smiled remembering all the wooden puzzles he used to do. Countless times he had to ride to the store with his mom and to keep him entertained she would buy him a wooden puzzle. The group of bean bag chairs was close enough to watch the boy, but still far enough away so that he wouldn’t feel obligated to interact with him. Eliot decided to take a seat in one.

As he observed the child playing, he began taking off his drenched suit jacket squeezing out the water on the floor next to him. He hoped to find some type of blanket for warmth he didn’t see anything in the mountains of toys. So, he sat there shivering with water dripping off his hair.

What does any of this matter he thought? I will be gone soon. These notes probably don’t even mean anything. Just some crazy distraction in my dream. But that stupid conductor. Lying to me. Denying me access to see my mother too. There’s no way. I can’t allow it. This is my dream after all.

Eliot rose and marched towards the door. He was going to demand that they let him through. But, before he got to the door he had an idea. If it was his dream he would just create the key for the door and have it appear right in his hand.

He put out his hand right in front of him, stared at it intently, and began thinking of a key to unlock that door. Nothing happened. He stuck out his hand again, but this time he closed his eyes. He focused even harder thinking about the feel of the key in his hand and the way it looked. He imagined it going into the door and opening it. But still, nothing happened.

“Ugh,” he grunted loudly in clear frustration the child turned and looked at him as if afraid.

“What are you looking at?” Eliot asked the child. “You could help you know”

The child picked up his toys and moved further away in a hurry. Eliot went back to that bean bag chair and sank in. His pocket vibrated.

“No no no.” He reached down pulling out the piece of paper.

Trust the child.

Eliot looked up at the clock. It was 30 minutes until he was supposed to wake up according to the conductor. He didn’t realize the purpose of this dream. Maybe it didn’t have a purpose, but he wasn’t entirely convinced by that thought. He looked down at that piece of paper and figured with 30 minutes left it wouldn’t hurt to try.

He got up and went to sit on the floor next to the child. He took a deep breath.

“Hey is it okay if I talk to you?”

The child grabbed his stuffed elephant from the floor and recoiled away from Eliot, but he didn’t get up and leave.

“I’m sorry I was mean to you earlier. I was just frustrated.”

The child stared back at Eliot silent and unmoving.

“Look, I’m not going to hurt you. You are me for crying out loud.” Eliot began looking around for some type of peace offering.

“I have the perfect thing for you.” He walked over to his wet suit jacket and reached in the front pocket pulling out the origami elephant his friend Trevor had made.

“You ought to like this.” He placed the paper elephant on the ground in between them. The child didn’t react.

“Go ahead, check it out,” Eliot said grabbing the elephant and moving it closer by bouncing it on the ground in some attempt to make simulate walking. The child smiled at this funny gesture. He reached out and grabbed the paper elephant. He was amazed. He looked it over trunk to toe.

Watching the child made a small smile grow across Eliot’s face. He sat back on his hands now looking a little less tense than before. The clock now showed 15 minutes until he was supposed to wake up. There is nothing I can do now he thought. His back uncurled as he lay down flat on the floor staring up at the ceiling with his hands folded across his chest.

“It would have been nice to see her again.”

As Eliot said this the child got up leaving the origami elephant and the stuffed elephant on the floor together. He grabbed Eliot’s hand and started pulling it.

“Ok, ok,” he said. He began following the child to the back of the train where the different compartments were. The child began entering each compartment again just like before.

“We are doing this again I see.”

Eliot looked back up at the clock, 9 minutes left now. The kid kept going further down the line of compartments, and Eliot began falling further behind him now.

The child disappeared into one of the compartments in the back. After a few seconds of waiting, Eliot decided to see what was taking so long. The child had one of the benches open and was digging in it. He had a very determined look on his face. He began pulling out random objects buried under the seat. First, it was a scarf and next a board game. Suddenly, the child’s face opened up with a wide grin. He pulled out a small chest just like the one the conductor was carrying around and brought it to Eliot.

He received it from the child with a look of astonishment.

“There’s no way. Is this?” he said looking at the child.

The child just nodded signaling to Eliot to move forward.

There was a bright flash of light and the chest began to shake. Eliot couldn’t help but drop it to the ground. As the light faded, Eliot was able to open his eyes. Standing in front of him was his mother. Young and beautiful, exactly the way she was when he was a child. She smiled at Eliot, and he began to weep as he embraced her in a hug.

——————————————

Eliot’s eyes sprang open with tears dripping down his face. He was laying on a couch. He quickly began looking around. In a nearby chair, he caught the smile of his therapist, and he smiled back at her.