3 Word Search

“Morgane… Could you not be any faster?”

“I could-but don’t feel up to it-”

“For heavens sake child, show some respect!”

“… Yes, Matem.” The air was putrid with the sent of herbs and blood from common bush rodents. The night was intoxicating as we all got ready for the long awaited ceremony. It was to be a night not soon forgotten.

I was the girl in the spotlight, a simple child of eleven and a half years who was trying to find her inner self; to become one with the Clan. The villagers gathered, all in suit of their inner most beings. The head of the Pheonix, Horse, Scale, Leaf and Tooth clansmen stood witness to my beginning, each dressed in the motif of their house. No more than foolish costumes to my eyes.

They say that when the light of the Gods consumes your body, you become that of which you morph. Be it plant, animal or even the earth’s elements itself. It was an ancient ceremony that had not been done for generations. I was surprised they would do it for me.

Dressed in robes of lavender-dyed silk. It was this flower that held special meaning in this séance. Lavender buds decorated and folded neatly into my long circlettes of golden braided hair. I felt rigid like a doll as I slowly paraded myself down the path, feeling the silent judgemental stares at the nape of my neck. The path spanned two long miles through the trees to a small shrine where the true sight would unfold, off limits to all except those who performed this outdated ritual.

“Don’t stray from the path!” Matem called out before they all faded from sight. It was difficult to do since it was beginning to get well overgrown with bush weed. My senses began to get overwhelmed as I strode forth into the night, not but a small lantern to guide my way in the becoming darkness. Reality seemed to unreel itself and the shadows began to play at my mind. This is the path my people faced while walking their road of fate. My mother had told me to believe in the power the Gods possesses and you will be free. Somehow I don’t think my mother took the same road I took. To have faith in yourself is the gift the Gods would grant if you believed.

I wanted to break away from the dimly lit path and flee to a safe haven till daylight would break, but where would be safe enough from the scorns of my people? Every sound, every movement in the woods and eyes that stared me down wanted me to run even more. Matem would tell me over and over to not run to the shrine, that it would show weakness and ill faith towards the Gods. The Gods were oblivious to what I would think, no matter what anyone said or thought.

Somehow I made my way smoothly along the dim lit winding pathways and across the cool babbling brook. The crown of lavender woven into my red locks burned me; I was not used to such attire. I was born free with no assertion towards my dress, though I paid for it with stones of hatred and glares of cruelty. To them, I was considered a ‘bad egg’.

My family came from a long line of Earth-Cults, groups of people indigenous to the wild lands of what is now North America. We are people that harness powers of the Earth. Morphing into the creatures that we control, healing the sick, making the ill… with each release of our power we age more and more, eventually dying in the midst of our midyears. It is addictive and dangerous Similar to selling your soul to the evil in the world, it can also be very rewarding and wonderful. The Gods that we seek guidance from help us on our journeys through this world to enter theirs. A utopia of peace and serenity, everything that we seek here on Earth but cannot acquire due to petty differences.

We are labelled ‘witches’ and ‘feinds’... We are not. If I was to say that every other religion that this world holds is evil and will destroy all of humanity, you would probably slap me in the mouth and call me a liar. The world abandoned us and left us for dead on this pathetic Island of antiquity. We do not worship evil, nor is it good. It is here and always has been. We worship the Earth. Life forces we have skilled ourselves to see and feel, the younger generations use it without even knowing how.

Though, I am not like them. I do not see mystical beings or speak with nature. Matem, the mother that takes in all who has nowhere to go took me in. My mother had died and my father deserted me. They call me weak and untrue to the Clan, betrayer and fearful outsider… Things I didn’t much understand at that age.

This was my last shot. If I didn’t succeed and can’t find my inner sight, they would forsake me to the other world. The world of pain and sorrow, death and hunger. How could I turn away, I had no other place to go. Options left me motionless, tied in a web of disbelief where if I did not turn the right way, it would strangle the life from me.

I stood in the center of the path before a small temple of tangled trees and ancient moss, molded into the shape of a basic circular hut. Slowing my pace, reluctance to enter reverborated through my body. Torches that attempted to banished the darkness, seemed to make way for the endless shadows that danced against the outer walls. Silence fell. The trees grew restless and there was no breeze to be felt against parched skin. My heart throbbed and fell down to my gut as I approached the thin oaken arch. Dare I enter? Is it possible to be eaten by shadows? It was either turn back or face this unseen fear, and I refused to turn back.

A bat squealed as it fluttered out of the shelter, scaring the breath out of my chest. Bracing myself I stepped forth into the little hut. Unexpectantly, a gust of wind came rushing out, blowing the circlet of flowers from my locks, leaving my hair to unfold and flutter in its breath. It was as if I had unleashed my fears as it carried the unwoven crown of lavender with it into the endless star spangled sky. Decorating the bright moon with its delicateness. I could barely draw a breath as the musky humid air enveloped me in that little hut. The darkness was greater than when I would close my eyes in the night.

Pulling a stone wrapped in blood soaked leaves from the little bag I had made myself, I placed it diligently onto the large granite stone altar. Closing my eyes I was supposed to say an incantation to start the whole event. My mind would not recall it. I could kick myself so hard, coming all that way for nothing. Landing heavily on the ground with legs and arms crossed I sat there, trying hard to recollect those words. Leaning with my head against the smooth stone, I stared out the temple doors and onto the life that slowly immerged outside. The world glared at me, as if the Gods themselves would be angry that I couldn’t remember.

Before my grandmother had passed on into the afterlife, she had taught me some incantations to help me in my times of need. She was the Leader of this Cult and this island, my mother was to be the successor until ill will turned on her and she fell sick for many months thereafter my birth. Before grandmother had died, she told me… her own granddaughter, that I was the cause of my mothers demise. That by the birthmark upon my arm I was evil and a death jinx. I’ve always believed that things happen for a reason, that fate is inescapable by all mortals… but those words cut into me and left my mind to writhe in its gastric juices, intoxicating my actions and accepting the fact that in all likely-hood, I probably was.

I hummed the tune Grandmother had taught me and felt as if I was betraying them both by not remembering the words that came with it. Would I stay there forever, or would someone seek me out when dawn would arise? Either way it wouldn’t matter. I was still a disease to my people and would be treated as such. A jinxing plague to the island that needed to be cleansed.

“Etu nu Eei.” Ever since their demise by illness, their memories have haunted me. After all, being only three when it happened to my Grandmother, it hurt me to be blamed for it all. The Cult children would tease me and stone me, treating me like the useless vermin of this world.-

“Kah Ve lien.” To which they would torment me… young and old, day and night. Manipulating the world around me to slowly break my spirit. The only time I would be safe from their cruelty was when I was alone in my room or by the Falls of Mechuin. Even then the cries of humiliation and laughter and hatred filled the air and bid me to tears, taking my spirit and crushing it to rubble.-

“Il mecha cho.” Will their cruelty cease? Will this night end this Hell for me, or will I be doomed to live a cursed live as an outsider?

“Ek shi tue voi!”

A light burst from the stone and wrapped itself around me, carrying me into an unbelievable world of mist and water. It was as if the hands of time had stopped and placed me firmly into a dream. I felt myself look around me, seeing only an endless expanse of aqua. An orb of light dimly glowed in the center of an ocean of still blue water. Feeling weightless I stepped towards it, feeling its life force within myself. Could it be? Could it be a God?

I had never truly believed in it, I refused to believe what could not be seen. Maybe that was the problem. My religion was no more than an empty promise to the Cult and I was the only one to see it.

As I effortlessly crossed the ocean and floated upon it like the mist of their dream, I could hear in my head words that were not spoken but felt. Fore knowledge does not take form in just simple letters and numbers.

The weight of my soul changed and I found myself before the orb, floating in the twilight upon the ribbons of the wind. Cloaked in blue and lilies of water I glanced upon my reflection in the sea. There I stood beside a figure, blurred and silhouetted by their own entanglement of stars and light. I remained there, a child with pale freckled skin and fine features drowning in the mental waters that consumed me. My breath shortened and constricted as the ocean suddenly plummeted me through its depths. I forced myself to move, to push myself back to the surface. My eyes held onto the glowing object intertwining and morphing through the figure hovering around it. Everything was starting to hurt as I struggled to the surface. Can we die in this world? Would it hurt to take a breath in this water? Would it kill me? Reaching out I touched the orb and felt its power surge through my veins.

The mist faded and I was in my own world once again. My body shook from head to toe as I leapt up and sprinted from the chilling place. What had I seen? Was it real? So many questions ran through my bewildered mind as I stood there looking back dumbly. To my astonishment, the place was no longer frightening but soothing to my nerves. A red fox stood at the doorway and looked on as it entered the building from the morning that was arising.

Darting back through the trees and along the ingrown path, my mind was amuck. Dawn broke through the trees and landed upon my nimble body. It was morning. No one else had ever taken so long before during the ceremony. Would they still be there?

The village came into sight as the trees began to be exchanged with little houses of the Cult. People gazed on in amusement as I stumbled my way back to the center of town where I had begun the thrilling and terrifying journey. I scanned the court and found only Matem sitting upon the stone, back turned away from me and looking up to the sunrise. Slowly and silently I made my way up the stone steps and sat down next to her. No worries, no happiness, not even a glance to my direction. I began to wonder if she were angry or disappointed of me.

“The Cult didn’t stay for you…” She said quietly at last, “ They didn’t think you had seen it.” Sadness lingered on her words as she glanced onto my plain emotionless face. “Have you Morgane? No matter-I will still love you no matter what they say.”

“I have seen it, Matem! Atleast I believe-”

“GREAT!” She exclaimed excitedly as she leapt off the stone and rushedly dragged me to the village tower where all the elders of the Clan were lodged. Before I knew it I was on the center of the stone facing what seemed to me a reluctant and grumpy bunch. Most of the people wouldn’t let me stay no matter what I would say if it were their choice. All dressed in the same clothing of blue and silver with the same looks on their faces. I knew that this communion was going to end in disaster.

“Alright then, well… Morgane-” One of the women said spitefully as she sat down beside an over plump, white-haired man. She was the lead interpreter. One of the first in the village. “Lady Matem has informed us of your sighting… so what're you waiting for.” With a keen unceremonial air I spoke it all, everything from the last second of my coming back to the place I was sitting at that moment.

When I finished my lengthy speech they all glared at me with uncertainty and doubt.

“Very well, now leave Morgane. We shall call forth for you when we have decided…” The woman called out as I was being dragged away by Lady Matem. Her expression was numb, emotionless. What had I done? It was only the truth. I sat upon a wooden bench beside Matem for what seemed an eternity.

The evening approached and still there was no word from the elders and no word from her. My stomach growled and ached for food. I hadn’t eaten since two days prior due to fasting for the event. Yet no matter how much my stomach churned the air with its roars, Matem still did not speak nor move.

“Lady-have I-”

“They are ready to see you.” Interrupted a young girl carrying rolls of parchment. My heart fell as Matem’s cold touch made me realize she didn’t believe me . Towing me along back to the smooth stone I sat there, nervously playing with small pieces of lavender that still clutched to my hair. Their glares pierced through me like millions of little needles, their judgement of what I had said has already formed my sentence. They won't believe me. They will send me away.

“Morgane, we as a council have thought over your sight. We have come to the conclusion that you are a mockingjay. That you lie. You are not part of this clan. Your blood is not our blood.” All hope fell from under me as I sat there cross legged and a stone dead look upon my face. That place was real. What I had seen was real! What would it take for me to make it true to them?

“… Child, my sighting took two minutes. It was a silver stag, magnificent and grand.”

“And mine was a bird of the sky, flying around the world and making its way back within a year.”

“Mine was of a wolf. Strong and lone, it seeks out its comrades in distress.”

The elder interpreter called out for stillness, she was the leader and obviously the most prized creature within the Clan, “I was the trees… Swaying and giving life to all creatures big and small.” A hush came over the company as they looked at each other in wonder, she would never admit her sight to anyone… particularly me. Her look became deadly as she finished what they had decided. “What you have seen cannot be considered a sight, simply a dream of a simple minded girl. Furthermore, since you do not possess what it takes to stay one with the Cult… You are forth with exiled from this island.” The hush from the company deepened to a deathly silence. Some bowed their heads in respect of their decission, others looking at me sympathetically as I sat there in an enigma. My mind stopped completely as the words from the elder had formed fully in my thoughts.

“… Surely you can find it in your hearts-” Matem asked gently as the woman’s face blazed in anger with her retort.

“Lady, now you are against our decisions? You shall not let this child-this jinx to pull you in… She is not of our kind, though somehow made from our blood. By sunrise this next morn, this child will be gone!” Matem held her tongue, wanting ever so desperately to fight on my behalf, but couldn’t. It was no matter, the elders were right. I did not belong and therefore must leave. Though where I would go, I had not the slightest clue.

Night fell and darkness loomed over the village, shadowed by the flickering of torches beside the cottages. It seemed evil, this darkness that held the demonic eyes of night. I walked the streets and cringed at the glances my Cult had given me, banishing me from the only home I knew. As I walked into my room for the last time there were no curses upon me or ill will. Silence rang through the night and it felt disturbing.

Matem dressed me in odd clothing with the textures I had never seen the likes of before. Instead of a dress I wore pants and a shirt, like a common pig boy. I realized the life I led was dim indeed when I left with no possessions. We trailed down to the water’s edge, a strictly forbidden zone for any children to wander. Mist loomed around our ankles as Matem helped me into a small rowboat, shaken and silent.

No words were spoken, but I could see the pain in her eyes. As the boat drifted away from the tree-laden sandy banks, I knew that I was more than just another child to her. By the tears that flowed from her cheeks and pearled before it fell to the calm waters where she stood, I knew that I was her child. Not simply by blood, but by the feelings that we shared as a family. The only real family I’ve really ever had… I knew then, that I would be missed, and Matam would be the only one I'd miss in turn.