182 A Special, Reserved Place in Hell

I was only trying to help. It was tough love.

"There's a special place in Hell reserved for people like you," she seethed. Drug rehab for 3 days, minimum. I'll never forget her face--a damning face.

So, imagine my consternation--it being the last thing I heard--before being hit by that bus when leaving the psychiatric facility. (Besides the bus itself!)

Then...another surprise.

I was in a waiting room. A horned, intake specialist called names.

"Un. Kim Jong Un?"

"Yes?" a squatty, fat man answered.

"Please, down that hall."

"Didn't even know I was dead! Where to?"

"Oh, there's a special place here reserved for people like you."

Before objecting, two slithering demons seeped along the floor and dragged him away.

"Gaddafi, Muammar Gaddafi?" A man with a little pill hat answered.

"Yes, that's me. Wanna know how long I've been waiting?"

"The same hall, Colonel."

"Oh, right. Reserved for people like me?"

"Just like you, yep."

More demons and another quick escort--to that special place.

"Excuse me," I asked, "but is everyone here going to a special place in Hell reserved just for them?"

"Yes," the intake officer said.

"What'd I do? I'm no dictator. I've never killed anyone."

"Sir, I don't make that call. See that hallway?"

"Oh, I know that hallway. I suppose inky demon blotches are gonna pour themselves under me and whisk me away?"

Before he could answer, that was happening.

I passed Special Place in Hell # 1 where Kim Un was having his genitalia eviscerated by grappling hooks. Can't say I felt for him.

I passed Special Place #2 where Gaddafi was getting water-boarded with boiling acid. I almost felt sympathetic--but almost ain't actual.

The door to Special Place #3 opened widely. I was pushed in. The temperature was pleasant and a breeze carried the most melodious music to my ears. Beautiful, naked people delivered a lush table of delicacies.

"Where am I?" I asked.

"Heaven," one with wings answered.

"What about that special place in Hell for people like me?"

"Gotcha!" hollered another.

"Yes," agreed yet another. "God has a wonderful sense of humor. It's what makes God great. Thank God--Him!--you didn't belong to a religion where he doesn't."

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AUTHOR'S NOTE:

For Sunday, June 230, Day 182 of the Story-a-Day Challenge

366 WORDS (without A/N)

Title-accompaniment photo was AI-generated but the reality is hot!

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ABOUT THIS STORY:

Inspired by a Twilight Zone episode where a mobster dies and goes to "Heaven." But he can't lose at the casino--every time, until he gets so frustrated he wants to go to the "other place." To which his guide states, "This IS the other place." I thought I'd flip that to the opposite.

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There are currently three surviving Vocal writers still participating in the insane 2024 Story-a-Day Challenge and approaching only its halfway mark:

• L.C. Schäfer, challenge originator

• Rachel Deeming

• Gerard DiLeo (some other guy)

Read them. Support them. Pray for them, for everyone could use a prayer or two.