153 Roulette

I spied him through the glass--saw how unhappy he was. How utterly depressed. His hopelessness. I know that look, I thought. How it felt when your body seems to be an automaton, directed by some deeper, primitive desperation.

His despair invited introspection.

I could see how he ignored his mind's higher executive lobes. I watched him finger the revolver, open the gun, and insert a single bullet. To my horror, albeit titillating, I saw him snap it back shut and give the canister a spin.

I watched him. I studied him. I identified with him, so I could learn a lot about myself by observing him.

Poor soul.

I looked right at him through the glass. Whenever I passed my window, he was usually there. But he was no more aware of me than of his rational self screaming for him not to do this. His volition, however, was deaf and blind to those screams--or to whom might be spying. I knew it was time to step in. It was time to act.

He looked right back at me.

Separated by a simple pane, we studied each other. Our eyes were fixed on each other's, but he'd never blink first. He smiled; I smiled. He didn't care that I was there to discourage him. He didn't care who I was. So close, but I couldn't touch him.

Eye-to-eye, he lifted the gun to his temple, smiling at me as he did. Was he smiling to himself?

Yes, he was.

I watched helplessly as he squeezed the trigger. We both laughed when all we heard was an empty, harmless click--me in exasperation; he, in irony. (The same?)

I watched him put the gun back down slowly: he would live to play again another day.

Bullets are destroyers. Destroyers of futures, lives, trust, love, and ambitions. One shouldn't be careless with bullets. They put more than extra holes in bodies; they put unfillable holes into the world.

Guns and their bullets are dangerous. Had the gun fired, the aim askew, it could have passed through his head with enough force to shatter the mirror I'd been looking into.

And that would have meant seven years of bad luck.

_____________

AUTHOR'S NOTES:

For Saturday, June 1, Day 153 of the Story-a-Day Challenge

366 WORDS (without A/N)

Title-accompaniment photo was AI generated, but the redemption was not.

---

There are currently three surviving Vocal writers still participating in the 2024 Story-a-Day Challenge:

• L.C. Schäfer, challenge originator

• Rachel Deeming

• Gerard DiLeo (some other guy)

Read them. Support them. And watch them see that the little red thing is pointing closer to E.