143 Just One Sol

Three billion years ago, air was sweet, chasms were carved by liquid water, and life on Mars was great. Then, a populist leader, Quidnak spoke thusly:

"We must put up an orbital barrier to keep extraterrestrials out. Sure they built our magnificent cities, but now just take a look. Look at the ones coming. These are the scum of the cosmos. Everyone knows they're all criminals. How many more pandimensional rapes and quantumly entagled murders must we tolerate? They're poisoning our green blood!"

And many Martians agreed.

"And I think the leader of Ganymede is a pretty admirable guy. Sure, he just invaded Callisto, but we should listen to why. I can see his point. And certainly he'll stop at Callisto, no matter what the other Jovians say--those other moons should be so well run! We could take a lesson from ol' Mr. Djutin of Ganymede. He runs a tight ship. Who needs MĀTO? I'd love to have his dictatorial authority for just one sol--I tell ya--what I'd do, indeed! Mars would be a helluva better place after my first sol."

And many Martians cheered.

"And then there's that climate change hoax. Look around, folks! Mars is lush; Mars is fertile; Mars ain't changin'. That ol' insectoid-face Laphrodite, and her Venusians, are perpetrating their insane greenhouse hoax. If anything, Mars is getting a little cooler, and that's OK. It's the Radiation Belters who are lying about the dust. There's no dust--never has been and never will be. Radiation--that's insane! They want radiation? Are you kidding me?"

"Here-here!" the Martians chanted.

"I say, if you de-laser all the lasers, only the laserers will be lasering. Vaccine mandates against the Great Red Spot virus--SpoViD-190003--completely unnecessary. Along with those who brought it here. Are you listening, Io? Masks? Not for us, right? And then there's that Critical Species theory. Really? Woke Martians are broke Martians!"

It is said that three billion years ago Mars--lush and fertile--was at peace in the solar system. And a great Martian, Dictator-for-a-Sol Quidnak, rose to lead but refused to leave. Cosmic disorder ensued; the radiation belt and atmosphere were lost; water evaporated; and everything had worked out great. He had made Mars Great Again.

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AUTHOR'S NOTES:

For WednesSol, May 22, Day 132 of the Story-a-Day Challenge.

366 WORDS (without A/N)

Title picture was AI-generated, but the rust was not!

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