You Didn't Know I Noticed

Hey Dad,

Did you ever sit back and think about who your actual real life hero is? I have. A lot recently, too.

Hero; such an impactful word. An impactful word, yet can have such a vague meaning. When we are young, we tend to have this image built inside our heads of what a hero looks like. Most people envision a police officer, a fireman, or military personnel. Others think more along the lines of a superhero; Batman, Spiderman, or Superman. Not me. When I think of a hero, I think about the person who impacted my life the most. That’s you, Dad. I hope that this will reach you up there in heaven. I like to believe that is exactly where you ended up. I really couldn’t imagine you not. If there isn’t a heaven; I know you’re being rewarded somewhere. How could you not be?! In my eyes, you were the greatest man to walk this planet and I am honored to have been able to have you as my dad.

I know you probably think there is no way I could think so highly of you, but I hope you’ll understand at the end of my letter. I know you probably have thought about life a lot the last few years you were with us. I know I have, especially since you left. That is what led me to realize how much of an impact you have made in my life. The things you have done for all of us still leaves me in awe.

When I was very little, I remember you teaching my brother how to fight, play baseball and basketball, among many other things. You included me; a girl. You taught me while you taught him those things. You taught me lots of mechanical things that most men would never even have their daughter around for. They would probably tell her to go find her mother. Not you. You showed me just like you showed my brother. Sometimes, you showed me even more because he would lose interest. I couldn’t be more grateful. You really prepared me for so much in life that a lot of females would refer to as “men’s work”.

I love the fact that when something goes wrong, I am prepared. When the thermostat needed to be replaced, most females would need to have someone come in to replace it, but not me. Because of you, I could teach my boys how to do these things too. Now, I know there is no way you could have known that I would end up being a single mother of two boys in the future while you were implanting all of this knowledge that could be used in so many facets of real life, but it really seems like you must have had a clue!

Because of you, Dad, I was able to teach two little boys how to hit and throw a ball. I was the only mom to sign up to help out on little league; just like you! Because of you, I am never that panicked woman stuck on the side of the road waiting for Triple A or a friend to come figure out why the car is overheating or to simply change a flat. I could go on and on, but these aren’t the most important things you taught me. You taught me things that I couldn’t google in today’s world and these are the reasons that made you my hero.

You taught me good morals, the value of family and loyalty, and the importance of respect. I thank you whole-heartedly for this. I know that, in life, the things that most people worry about aren’t even the things that really matter. You showed me by example. Were you a perfect person? Absolutely not. Who is?! I have yet to meet one in my entire life. In my eyes, however, you were more than close. You showed me that it’s okay to make mistakes in life. It was okay because every time you made one, you would own it. You acknowledged your downfalls and would make actual attempts to make things better. That is an extremely hard thing for anyone to do. You probably had no clue that I noticed that, but I did.

Family was always the most important thing to you. You always were there for family; no matter what. By family, you meant those connected by blood AND loyalty. Blood gives you relatives, but loyalty gives you family. When one of your family is struggling or going through a tough time, you are there. You do everything within your power to help that person. You do that no matter what. In the end, they will be the ones who will be there for you; even if you swear they won’t. You’ll usually be surprised.

Respect was huge with you, Dad. You showed respect to adults. You do not enter a house without being invited in and you do not sit down until asked to have a seat. Yes, that was all important, but not exactly what I am referring to. This is a big one for me. You taught me to respect myself. Never go against my morals or values just to get by in life, There is always a way. There always will be. Even if you need to put your pride aside and go to your family for help; you do it. Once you lose respect for yourself, though still possible, it’s going to be hard to get that back. I know that because of you, I never went against my morals to make it in life. I have, and always will, find a way to get by without taking the easy way out. That’s a promise I make, not only to you, but to myself.

I know that being a good person means more than any material thing because you showed me that. You never treated anyone who was disabled like they had something wrong with them or as if they were different. You would overlook the flaws of people and would help anyone within your capabilities. You never acted better than anyone else. You taught me to be humble, yet proud of my accomplishments. Also, that nothing worth it will ever come easy. You have to work for what you have. Boy, you weren’t lying about that one!

I will never be able to begin to thank you enough for instilling in me the fact that, no matter what life throws my way, you just keep going. You do what you need to do in order to live the life you want and don’t let anything stop you. You showed me that we are a resilient family and that there is nothing any one of us can not accomplish. I am extremely lucky to have been able to have you as the man who helped shape me into the person I am today and I would do it all over again if given the chance. You have had the most impact on my life, by far and, even though you may have prepared me enough for your absence, it’s still the hardest thing I have ever had to deal with in my life.

Love Always,

The most grateful daughter alive, hands down.