You Are Not Perfect Parents

Let's be real, every parent wants to be the perfect parent for their children, however, you almost instantly realize no such parent exists. Being a parent is a HARD JOB, the hardest job I personally have ever had. When you start your journey or unpaid career as a parent you don't have a Bachelor's Degree going in. There is no schooling for being a parent, sure there are plenty of books, believe me, I have read them and still do. Until you give birth and become a parent, your true education doesn't start until you are on the job. I am so extremely thankful for the many books to assist with the ups and downs and the "Oh no, what do I do now?" moments as a parent.

I recently noticed I was down on myself, questioning "Am I a good parent? Is there such a thing as a perfect parent? I am doing this parenting thing right?" Many times I have told myself I would never parent the way my parents parented me. Yet I found myself responding and reacting the same as my parents did stemming from the most readily available resource, my memory. Most people rely on the way they were parented as a guide, which is great if you believe in the way you were raised, others may have had an abusive upbringing or broken home that involved multipleparenting ways. Either way, what is important is that you find a way of parenting that works for you, your spouse, and your children. This is where it can become tricky. Take a deep breath, think bigger, and find a way.

When you take the time to evaluate everything as a parent and understand that it is okay if you are not perfect, because it really does not exist, you can embark on a journey of becoming a great parent. It is extremely important to stop and ask questions, listen and keep trying. When you realize you handled something poorly, correct it, be honest with yourself and those involved, especially your children. Let them know you made a mistake and responded poorly. You can even work out the problem differently together with a more positive approach which will result in an even better resolution. There are always a variety of ways to respond or react so when you stop and think before responding impulsively you will find your reactions become a little more pleasant and the responses become a little less combative.

It's okay to let your children know that you are doing the best you can and that even then you are always trying to do better. In being honest and including them in on why you may have responded the way you did and how you may have handled something differently, you will then be setting an example of the following.

• Being honest with yourself and others
• Forgiving yourself and others
• Constantly trying to improve when needed

Something you can take from this is that you are being a great role model!

Stop trying to be a perfect parent, instead, be the best parent you can be and continue to find ways to do so.

Please be sure to look for more parenting tips from me if you feel this has helped you in any way.

Rochelle Hasselbach