With Respect for Imperfect Girls Make Perfect Role Models … Important New Book for Teen Girls

Take it or leave it … my teacher’s opinion. I’m furious about what is happening to our teenage girls and the “rampant perfectionism” imposed by social media. Finally, there are new stories about real girls around the world who pursue their passions and build their self-confidence and success along the way. How wonderful for all teen girls to have this opportunity to see them as role-models!

There is no other demographic other than teen girls of whom so much disadvantage is taken in our social media culture. Such unrealistic expectations, more vulnerability, less rebuttal, limited voices on media; just more escalating research about high rates of depression, anxiety and acting out to fit into adult standards and hyperbole.

At 15, they are not suitable guests on talk shows to explain how their adolescent brains do not mature with logical deductive thinking skills until ages 21 or so. There is nothing news-worthy about managing their developing brains subjected to physical and emotional changes, peer pressure, socialization, and growing independence. However, from their early vantage, how can they explain that an entire generation is falling apart because of constant need for perfection and instant gratification?

When I was a teenager the only mirror that saw my face hung in our bathroom and my real friends were neighbors who liked my responsibilities and efforts and it didn’t matter how I looked. Now the social media Selfie mirrors expose the innocence and curiosity of youth to unfiltered, unattainable standards to be happy in a perfect life or suffer hopelessness, self-doubt, lack of self-motivation and self-esteem or self-confidence.

Following the media mentality, they don’t complain in compliance. Nobody hears their sorrows in media and nobody except psychologists seem to question how abnormal this rite of passage is or offer solutions, until now.

It is with greatest hope and respect that I wish to introduce a very important book:

Living the Confidence Code: Real Girls. Real Stories. Real Confidence. Katty Kay, Claire Shipman and JillEllyn Riley

Ordinary is extraordinary

“Helping girls to see the extraordinary in the seemingly mundane is also a powerful antidote to unrealistic expectations. Everyday heroes, who don’t get noticed, have special impact.” Dr. Zucker

This book explains how self-confidence develops through actions based on 30 true stories of real girls with different personalities who pursue their passions with perseverance. Sometimes they struggle, stumble and fail, but along the way they also figure out how to build their own special brand of self-beliefs.

There are many important reasons for teen girls (and family members) to read these real life stories to connect with capable women and their achievements, many for a community benefits.

• read stories about high achieving female leaders in government, sports, science and other areas
• note how many leaders struggle to reach their goals and how to set a map of perseverance and motivation of what is actually possible
• understand that successful role models start as “works-in-progress” with many variables, flaws and failures, but with compelling energy and self-confidence to overcome problems
• accept that failure can be contained within realistic goals that are attainable with consistency and hard work
• find common characteristics, traits and values of these young women, not just their singular achievement, that can be used in personal endeavors.

Finally, along the way, everyone gets the chance to discuss what is a purposeful life and how to measure success. Living a gritty life with purpose is admirable. A sense of wholeness follows paths of fear and love.

“Helping girls to see the extraordinary in the seemingly mundane is also a powerful antidote to unrealistic expectations. Everyday heroes, who don’t get noticed, have special impact. Talk about the incredible values of a young girl who might be burdened with raising her siblings when her mother vanishes, for example. She might not have a splashy social media profile, but her bravery, her sacrifices, or her emotional labor, are, in fact, heroic.” Dr. Zucker

I am so impressed by this book for teen girls that connects to a growing global community of their powerful peers and their life lessons.

What an opportunity for girls to explore their natural freedoms, selfless motivations and write about their own experiences! Along the way, even temper those awful words “perfect” and “imperfect” to “self-potential” and change the title to How Every Teen Girl with Self-Potential Turns Self-Confidence into Purpose.

Imagine asking a teen girl you know about what she would like to do with hope and confidence. What kind of story would they like to write?

Annemarie Berukoff