Why self-love is so important after having a baby

My partner and baby have just gone out for a long walk to the beach and I was a bit indecisive about going with them. Why?

I love spending time with my girl, even when I'm exhausted. Being around her and playing with her fills me with so much love and happiness! Also she needs the stimulation, to learn, grow and continue developing on the right path. It's Saturday and my partner isn't working so he always spends a lot of time with her at the weekends, which she LOVES. A lot of laugher , games and kisses! So during the time their spending together, I finally get a chance to do a few things....uninterrupted.

I so wanted to go with them, see her enjoy the beach and spend time as a family. BUT. I also wanted some alone time. My heart was pulled in both directions. I miss her already and it's only been about 15 minutes. I had to take a minute and think, I need time for myself even if it's just a couple of hours. It may seem like an obvious and easy choice but for me it's hard. I hate missing out and being apart from her.

Self-love. Choosing time for yourself is giving yourself self-love. I mentally need it. It's a lot, taking care of a baby. I am a constant entertainer and milk provider. I'm tired, maybe even a little exhausted. That is the honest truth. Taking care of a baby is exhausting. In between early mornings, play time, feeding, walks and the odd house duty - there is not enough time in the day!! You know they say "sleep when your baby sleeps". Yeah I can see where they are coming from but honestly...is that REALLY realistic. There are other things I do when she has her 30-40 minutes naps. Shower, wash the bottles, do a few dishes, do the laundry, hang up the laundry, put away the laundry, hoover...it's never ending and constant. Now I'm not complaining, it is what it is but it's exhausting. Where can I find time to sleep? It takes me 15 minutes to fall asleep and by the time I do that she's awake! haha So yeah, a nap isn't always going to be realistic for me. I think it takes time, to get used to juggling so many things and I'll get there but right now I'm tired.

So, weekends really are my times that I get to have a few hours to do what I want. That's why today I chose to stay home. Just sat here, in silence, wind blowing through the windows, sippin' on a coffee and writing this. I will have a cheeky nap later too! YAY!

P.s. I wouldn't change my life for the world. I love my daughter, she is my world but mamma needs some down time too. I can only be the best for her if I feel my best. So taking a couple hours to myself lets my brain and body relax, recharge the batteries so I'm ready for another week of fun! And it is fun, watching her grow, laugh and explore! It's the best....well I think everything she does is the best really!

Self-love isn't just taking care of yourself physically but also mentally. I struggle with anxiety and feeling overwhelmed when things become too much. I panic and stress more and more and it gets my mood down. It took me many years to try to change my mentality. I had to really learn that sometimes there isn't a need to stress so much, things will be fine and some things aren't even worth stressing about. I know that when I'm tired, I'm grumpy and grumpy me is a stressed me. That's not good for me, my baby or partner ( bless him ). So these quiet times to myself allow me to reflect and breath.

Here are some things to try to help destress/decompress that I found helpful

- Put your baby somewhere safe and secure and step into a different room for 5/10 minutes. YOU NEED this, do not feel guilty if they cry, they are fine!

- Let your partner help when they offer and ask them to help as well if you feel you're becoming overwhelmed.

- Have a bath, pamper session when you can. Light those candles, get a nice going vibe- CHILL

- Remember, this is all new to you. Don't put too much pressure on yourself. You'll get there. I promise it gets easier!

-Put some calming music on, it may even help calm your baby too.