Why an IVF Nurse Became a Surrogate: Teale Kelley’s Surrogacy Journey

As Told By Teale Kelley, RN, ConceiveAbilities Egg Donor and Surrogate

Teale Kelley is a remarkable woman who is helping others navigate the complex world of fertility and surrogacy. With a unique perspective as an experienced surrogate, an experienced egg donor AND an IVF nurse at Shady Grove Fertility in Denver, Teale has become a voice for others thinking about surrogacy.

Her empathy to help others who are struggling with infertility and her desire to empower and educate others led her to become a TikTok surrogacy influencer.

Teale’s background gives her a comprehensive understanding of the physical and emotional aspects of the surrogacy process. She draws from her own experiences to offer invaluable advice, debunk surrogacy myths, and address common concerns that surrogates and intended parents may have.

With a growing following of now over 135,000 on TikTok, Teale’s authentic and compassionate approach has resonated with people from all walks of life, providing them with a glimpse into the profound impact of becoming a surrogate can have on individuals and families.

Listen as Teale joins Nazca Fontes on All Things Conceivable: A Surrogacy Podcast to share her goal of empowering surrogacy journeys.

Meet Teale Kelley: IVF Nurse, Egg Donor and Surrogate

NF: When did you know you wanted to become a nurse?

TK: I had my daughter, Ella, when I was 17, so I was very young when I had her. I always knew I wanted to be a nurse, so I went to nursing school and I was quite the struggle. But I prevailed and I graduated when she was just starting kindergarten, which was perfect timing.

From Nursing School to Egg Donation

NF: How did nursing inspire you to become an egg donor?

TK: I started working at a children’s hospital while I was in nursing school. While I was working in the NICU, one of my patient’s parents shared that they were using an egg donor and how grateful they were to her for bringing them this beautiful little baby. It really just sparked my interest and I thought, “I should be an egg donor” and I started looking into egg donation. I looked at lots of different clinics and egg donor agencies and I just researched everything. I was in the middle of nursing school, so it was interesting to read about the egg donation side and know what they were talking about. I applied to be an egg donor and I matched fairly quickly for my first one. And it was a local donation.

How Egg Donation Led Teale to IVF Nursing

NF: Your egg donation journey then inspired you to become an IVF nurse?

TK: I was working with the clinic for that egg donation locally and I made a really good connection with the nurse that was in charge of my match. During that donation, I got ovarian hyperstimulation, so I was in close contact with the nurse and the whole team. After graduating nursing school, I was working as a pediatric nurse. I saw a position for an IVF nurse at the clinic I had donated at and I knew I needed to apply.

Two hours after applying, the nurse that was in charge of my egg donation reached out and told me she wanted me to interview. I started two weeks later and I’ve been there ever since. It’s been about three years now. I love IVF nursing. I love the impact I’m making on patients. I love making families and building families.

Why an IVF Nurse Became a Surrogate

NF: How did your IVF nursing experience then influence your decision to become a surrogate?

TK: I had one very special patient who is very near and dear to my heart. They ended up having to use a surrogate after a bunch of failed transfers and IVF cycles. And I just remember one day I was sitting with her and I was holding her hand and she was just crying and crying after their third loss. And she said, “This is just such a hard decision, but we are moving to surrogacy. I can’t safely carry a baby and I need to move on and let someone else carry it for me and help me build my family.”

That close connection and the words that she said to me stuck with me and I knew I could become a surrogate. I could help someone else build a family and help their dreams come true. I have the ability to do so and I would love to do so.

What It’s Like to Experience IVF as a Patient

NF: How does your nursing perspective help you with your surrogacy journey?

TK: It’s definitely given me a very different perspective, but I think being on the patient side of it as an egg donor and as a surrogate, it’s definitely helped me be a better nurse. I think the day-to-day life of an IVF nurse is very busy.

Being on the patient side of it, I know exactly what they’re going through. I don’t have infertility, but I definitely am going through the surrogate IVF procedures. So it gives me a lot more patience and it just really makes me appreciate what they’re going through. I’m really grateful that I get to be a part of their journey during that process.

NF: Does being an IVF nurse help you navigate the surrogate IVF process and surrogate pregnancy?

TK: Definitely. I feel like I have the answer to a lot of my questions that I frequently get asked by patients like progesterone and oil injections, and the best way to do those. I have all the tips and tricks, so I’m really grateful that I have those. So I do think it helps sometimes, but other times I’m still human. The other day, I was bleeding and I know it’s completely normal and I know it can definitely happen, but I was freaking out. Everything was fine, but at the end of the day I still get nervous sometimes.

What Intended Parents Should Know About the Surrogacy Journey

NF: What other unique perspectives do you have for other intended parents who are going through the challenges of infertility who may need to work with a surrogate?

TK: I think a lot of them are just scared and they’re nervous. The biggest thing I see is they want to be able to bring their own child into the world by themselves. And I think sometimes people get to a point where surrogacy is the best fertility treatment option after a challenging infertility journey. I think it is helpful for them to know that babies come into the world in all different kinds of ways and just because your route may look a little bit different than the traditional pregnancy, it doesn’t mean it’s the wrong route.

Finding the Right Match With Intended Parents

NF: How did you match with the family you were meant to help?

TK: I didn’t quite know what to expect from the matching process. For egg donation, you are on a registry and then someone picks you and a lot of times you don’t know anything about the person you’re matching with to donate your eggs.

So surrogacy was a very different process, and I quite enjoyed it. ConceiveAbilities uses the Matching Matters™ process to find the most compatible partner for your surrogacy journey. I liked knowing that the people that were going to be picked for me were picked because we had things in common and that we would be compatible.

I liked that it was a mutual relationship; they wanted to match with me and I wanted to match with them. I was very open with the kind of couples that I would match for and open to carrying for really anyone. But I don’t think I could have matched with a better couple for me.

During our very first match meeting, we got along very well. We had the same goals and perspective on what we wanted from the surrogacy relationship and how we felt about surrogacy in general. I matched with the very first couple that was presented to me and we still get along fantastically.

Building a Relationship With Her Intended Parents

NF: How has your relationship with your intended parents grown?

TK: We get along very well. I think we text probably every single day. We do check-ins once a week, whether it just be through text or a phone call. When I went travelled for my workup and for my embryo transfer, we all hung out the whole time I was there. We have great conversation. It’s never awkward when we’re just sitting there. We just jive.

My daughter won a scholarship to a summer camp at the end of the month and it just so happens to be in the state my intended parents live in, so I’m planning on spending some time out there with them while she’s at camp. And then she actually met them when they came here for my first ultrasound last week and it was very sweet. I think it brought everything like full circle for her, but we all get along fantastic.

What Teale Looked for in a Surrogacy Agency

NF: We recently surveyed 600 experienced surrogates really to understand what they valued most in the process. Matching was number one priority followed by compensation. What mattered most to you when choosing a surrogacy agency?

TK: I had done all my egg donations through ConceiveAbilities and I had a really great experience doing those. I did interview with different agencies when I was looking into surrogacy. I felt like ConceiveAbilities All-In Surrogate Care and Compensation Package offered a comprehensive package for the surrogate with everything included.

With other agencies, surrogate pay was a little different and the way they split things up was interesting. There was a very wide range of compensation. You would get your base compensation. Then you would get X amount for this if you had to do this and Y amount for maternity clothes. And the math just sometimes was a little difficult to manage and a little confusing to be honest.

So I liked that ConceiveAbilities’ compensation was all-in-one, inclusive and transparent. You are very upfront with it and the surrogate can use it for what she wants to use it for. I liked that you offer support for surrogates with the surrogate support groups. I think that’s really important.

And I liked how ConceiveAbilities has support for postpartum fourth trimester care. So after you deliver, someone’s going to follow up with you and make sure you’re okay and recovering well. I think working in IVF and working in a clinic, I have seen lots of different agencies and I feel like sometimes the communication can be lacking or surrogates really aren’t understanding what’s going on or where they’re at in the process. And I think that’s something ConceiveAbilities is really good at. I love my match managers. I feel like they guide me through everything extremely well and any questions I have, they know the answer.

I really like the surrogacy legal support as well. I think I would have no idea what to do or how to find a reproductive lawyer, what questions to ask them and what needed to be in my contract. So I’m really grateful I’ve had the help with that. I think that’s been very important and probably my favorite thing.

How Teale Plans to Use Her Surrogacy Compensation

NF: Many of our surrogates share how their surrogacy pay changed their family’s financial future from buying a new home, paying down student loans and debt, or setting up a college fund. Do you have this compensation earmarked for something special in your own life?

TK: One of my daughter’s requests was a dream trip to Disney World, so we will be visiting the Magic Kingdom. I will probably also use my surrogacy pay for student loans. In addition, my daughter does competitive cheer; we do travel quite a bit for that and it is quite expensive so it’ll probably help with that. But my thought is most of it will go into creating a savings nest egg for the future.

Understanding Surrogacy Restrictions

NF: You were recently featured in an In The Know article about surrogacy restrictions that you have in your surrogacy journey. Can you share some of those?

TK: I don’t have many restrictions. I feel like I have the same restrictions as most pregnant people. Like I shouldn’t eat deli meats, I shouldn’t eat sushi, anything like that. And then I can’t travel to three states that are not surrogacy friendly, that’s in my surrogacy contract. But, other than that, I feel like I really don’t have that many restrictions. I just need to treat my body the best I can possibly treat it while I’m pregnant and be safe. I’m not allowed to have any new sexual partners. But other than that I feel like I don’t have many restrictions.

Sharing Her Surrogacy Journey on TikTok

NF: You also were very candid with your intended parents upon matching that you were going to share your journey on TikTok and they’ve been perfectly supportive of that. Is that right?

TK: I really love educating the public on IVF and infertility and I had the idea to share my entire surrogacy journey as well. A lot of people do not know the ins and outs of surrogacy and I want them to be able to see it. I made sure, even in our initial match meeting, that they were okay with it. They just thought that was so awesome and so we made sure to put it in our legal contract that was okay.

What Teale Wants People to Know About Surrogacy

NF: In addition to being a nurse and a mom, a lot of your TikTok page is about surrogacy education, not just your own life. What do you want people to know most about surrogacy?

TK: It makes me so happy to know that I am helping someone in such a big way and making such a big impact on their lives and helping create a family for them. I don’t think I’ve ever felt so grateful to be a part of an experience like this and I just want people to know that it’s not all rainbows and kittens, but it is such an amazing experience and I love what I’m able to do for someone else.

NF: And I know you’re still relatively early in your pregnancy, you’re still in the first trimester. But, so far, can you point to something that’s been incredibly rewarding?

TK: On my very first ultrasound, I saw the intended parents breakdown, crying tears of joy and happiness seeing their little one’s heartbeat on the ultrasound for the first time. That really stuck with me, knowing that I was able to bring that joy to someone and seeing how happy it made them. It’s making their dreams come true.

What Teale Would Tell Women Considering Surrogacy

NF: What would you tell other women who are thinking about becoming a surrogate?

TK: I get a lot of comments from people who are saying they want to do surrogacy but they’re worried that they would get attached to the baby. I would tell them a surrogate pregnancy feels very different in comparison to how I felt with my daughter.

I feel love for this child and I want it to go on and do fantastic things, but I also know it’s not mine. I wouldn’t want them to be concerned that they would get attached because it feels more like babysitting. When you’re babysitting, you love them and you care for them and you do what you can during that time that you have them, then you send them off with their parents.