What to Expect When She's Expecting
What you should do for your partner during the First Trimester
Congratulations! You are going to be parents! Good on you two!
Okay mate, I’m going to call you mate because mate, things are never going to be the same ever again… And by never again means before the little one or ones arrive.
What I mean by this is this statement is that your partner, your amazing partner who you love beyond anything on this earth, is about to go through nothing you will ever physically understand. A natural process which will push her to limits unseen before and mate, it will test your resolve too. Take it from someone who has personally gone through this with my pregnant wife. Your role is no longer comical whip or snuggle-bunny, no, no, no, you are going to be the guy who changes deodorant, so she doesn’t hurl into your lap during a morning car-ride to work. You will cook her meal separate and quite possibly cook and eat your meal alone in the garage, so she doesn’t hurl again. You are going to do all the food shopping, washing, tidying up, entertaining and of course, be the mental rock for her during the lowest of lows. Because as she goes through these mind-boggling, cell-developing, physical changes, she is going to look to you for stability and support. So, buckle up, put the game on hold and become the best coach she is EVER, going to have.
Week 1-4ish or 5ish of Pregnancy
You’ve probably come home mate to find your partner in crime has an excited, but hidden look upon her face. Or perhaps you’ve awoken to the smell of a fresh cup of hot soy-mocha & a side of freshly cooked croissants (aka ‘French Boomerangs) with something else on the side… In both scenarios, you look upon the pregnancy test closer and focus your eyes to see those two pink lines. You look back to her and the stick before you utter the words ‘What does this mean?’ Mate it means you and her are going to become parents. Yes, two pink lines mean positive. Yes, she has taken a second test to confirm that. Yes, it’s positive. If you were anything like me, you are filled with this other unexplainable sense and moment of pure joy. You embrace each other, kiss, hug or in some instances from watching Insta-Reels, collapse on the floor from hearing the news. Hopefully it was from over-joy rather than shock. Because we all know how it happens so, it really shouldn’t be a shock when you, you know, do it…
Personally, I was in bed when my lovely wife walked through the door holding the stick and said, ‘You see it right? You can clearly see it? It’s not faint is it, it’s there!’ My first initial reaction was – ‘Oh my, oh my it is two lines… We’re pregnant!’ The second initial reaction was – ‘Oh my, I’m holding something she peed on, don’t touch your mouth with that hand’. It was magical to say the least though, we embraced, she cried, I teared up and then we laughed & then it hit me. ‘I know absolutely nothing’. Granted we had discussed about the idea of having kids and I had had a look online and YouTubed a few videos here and there, but I really didn’t know what was going to happen.
We wanted to start having children but didn’t know if we wanted to start right away or just wait. After discussing with each other whether we wanted to start trying and whether it was good time, we both agreed that there was no harm. We would try but not put a pressure on the fact that ‘We must get pregnant right away!’ But that is one of the best things though about trying, you never know when it will happen, and when it does your whole world is turned upside down.
Now, when you do find out, it turns out you are already several weeks ahead. The first few weeks everything is pretty much under the radar. She feels pretty good, especially now more than ever since finding out she is with child. And you are now aware that she is pregnant but can’t really see a difference, yet.
Usually within the first four weeks of pregnancy according to biological health professionals, medical journals and the Wikipedia page, nothing really changes for the mother except for the growing baby. But when asking people who have gone through the motions, they will tell you otherwise, especially vloggers on YouTube!
Did you know that a woman is considered pregnant when she has missed her period? Well hopefully you’re mature and you do know that. But did you know that when she is confirmed positive on the pregnancy test from those soon to be roaring HCG hormones, she is already several weeks along? And when I mean several weeks, I mean, several weeks since her last period. Yeah, so when you find out, she could be a week into pregnancy or five-ish weeks along already! You know what else that means mate? You’re already 1-5ish weeks behind the little baby, time to play catch up. That means move SPARTAN GO-GO-GO!
Now when I mean catch-up, I mean get your head already prepped into pregnancy-mode. And no, that doesn’t mean you go out and buy the baby seat & nappies, no dude. It means you start to learn and expand your knowledge on what happens week-by-week in the first trimester if like me, you didn’t already fully know yet. Because at weeks 4 to 5, the little thing growing in your partners uterus is the size of a sesame seed or maybe slightly bigger. Small as it may-be, that sesame seed in a week is about to grow to the size of green pea. And it will continue to double in size gradually week-by-week.
During these first four-ish weeks, my wife couldn’t tell the difference of pregnancy symptoms and her usual symptoms with her possible coeliac disease-causing heartburn and irregular periods. Heck, we wrestled in the backyard re-enacting the Bledisole Cup revival between Australia and New Zealand before having the test confirm her late period (Australia won which caught me be surprise as New Zealand was weak for some reason).
NOTE: If your partner seems a little off their game and you ask them if they are late, go get them a pregnancy test and offer it to them.
So, little sweet-pea is looking more like a tadpole in your partner’s stomach right, but it will be causing a whole lot of extra hormones to be released in her. Which may not affect her immediately or as severely as she would have suspected, do not take this as a welcomed sign of relief. She might be fine one moment before hurling in the kitchen sink because you opened a pack of four-burger patties. You mate, must be as flexible and ready to throw, remove or give-up things to make her comfortable. Don’t worry it’s not permanent, just until the aversions subside or in nine months, whichever comes first. ‘Bah, but it’s not fair, it’s just a burger’ , big no, no, ahem, that is not a good enough excuse mate. She has already started growing a brain, heart, spinal cord in those small weeks and currently developing macro lungs and a digestive system for someone. You now mate must look after her as she is already preoccupied.
I wasn’t like this to my wife by the way. I already learned within the first 48 hours from YouTube videos and vloggers on what to expect and how they were feeling. So when my wife had a discomfort, it was removed, no if’s, but’s or can I have the last of the coconuts, no, no. That was all pushed aside for her, and I was happy to do so.
Nothing is permanent, everything and everyone goes through a season. Just have a little patience & love…
Thankfully those first few weeks weren’t bad though. Little did she know though what was to come week 6 onwards. She was currently experiencing what all couples first experience during a relationship, the ‘Honeymoon Phase’. Week 6 was about to bite her in the butt hard and test my metal & 48+ hours of pregnancy knowledge.
About the author
When life gives you lemonade, make lemons. Life will be like, "Whaat?"
Never doubt your knowledge or ability to anyone, your gifts and talents might be the key to their success, and so would theirs to you
Australian Writer / Aviation Lover
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