What i lost in Rucheng

I only went to the entry city once.

　　I took out the courage to go to Guangdong alone back then.

　　Because there, there is a person I met in Guangdong.

　　Her name is Pingping.

　　The name is like the person, Ping Ping. But the person is not like the person, big eyes and big face, big hands and big feet, no big personality. I like a small woman who is understanding, but a small woman with big hands and feet, I only met one, and that was her.

　　My sister introduced us to each other. Before we could meet, she knew there was a colleague who had a brother, I knew my sister had a colleague named Ping Ping, and then I went to Shantou to make a living. She remained in Dongguan. At that time, Dongguan, the road is crowded, motorcycles often brush by, the sound of the horn unrestrained, the street dust, car exhaust, garbage burning, the smell of gutter water, the smell of fried noodle shop, the smell of factory exhaust port of rubber, the smell of Tianna water, mixed together, is all. I didn't leave Dongguan because of these. I couldn't find a job in Dongguan, and I couldn't find a job that was suitable or unsuitable. Dongguan's factories, 99% do not welcome men. Shenzhen also can not go, I just came from there, when the security guards are not qualified. I can only go to Shantou to join my friends. Of course, I wrote a letter to Pingping, writing that I was working in a factory in Chaoyang, Shantou, but in fact, I was living in a friend's broken factory, with nothing to do.

　　No job, no income, being in a city of worries, it was affecting my mood, but it didn't stop Pingping me from developing a relationship with Ping.

　　What is the future like?

　　I don't know if I ever described the future to her. She was not sick of farming, and I, farming, was the nail in the coffin of the future. If I can't make a living working, I have to go back to farming in the east. It was a choice that had to be made, and a ready-made way to end the ideal. I'm planning when to end the ideal, or, perhaps, after I marry Ping Ping.

　　To talk about marriage, you have to go to Rucheng.

　　If I don't know Ping Ping, I really don't know which side of the sky Rucheng is on.

　　After I met Ping Ping, I had to research Rucheng.

　　Rucheng in the southeast side of Chenzhou, Guangdong, Hunan, Jiangxi provinces at the junction, the famous chicken sound three provinces. Yongzhou hometown Zhou Dunyi wrote "Love Lotus Sayings" there, and Chairman Mao and Zhu Laozi stayed there. Of the ten towns and nine villages, hot springs are the most famous. The three major academies, Lianxi Academy, Baishi Academy and Yuntou Academy, make Rucheng's humanities comparable to Chenzhou, a major town in southern Hunan, where "Chenjiang River is fortunate to be around Chenshan". Pingping's gentle, subtle and introverted temperament is perhaps the result of her childhood exposure to this traditional and rich humanistic history, right?

　　Ningyuan is in the south of Yongzhou, surrounded by two mountains, Jiuzhu Mountain and Yangming Mountain, which were known as the land of miasma in ancient times. Leaving Ningyuan, a car ride is like a boat ride, all the way at the tip of the wind. What about Rucheng? On the way to know, is also a mountain with mountains, the road like a belt, sometimes in the mountains in the pine forest, sometimes in the fields, those villages afraid to grow taller and grow up, at the foot of the mountain dodge, like a ragged liberation shoes abandoned in the grass. Rucheng is an old area, a national poverty-stricken county, but in reality, it looks similar to the rural areas of Ningyuan, with tile houses and mud and gray walls, so you can't see where the poverty is. Or, this needs to enter the house, need to check the accounts, need to ...... is not my walking around to understand? Looking out of the car window, the scenery is not strange at all. But the whole car, the only one I a foreigner. They do not know. Looking at their ink-black face, the anxious look of the rush, I also have no sense of loneliness wrapped around the heart. I was also anxious to see Pingping, her parents, her sister and brother, and her seven aunts and uncles. Do you have the capital to go back to your mother's house in the future?

　　When I thought about this, I was torn.

　　My father kept forcing me to get married. The family is poor, but I have to borrow money to get married. This year twenty-eight, next year twenty-nine, if you do not get married, you will be left. My father's generation did not have bachelors. If I become a bachelor, well, hit the face of my father's generation. I will not hit the face of the fathers, because I have Ping Ping. You have it, pick it up. I didn't think of money, I didn't think of the future, I didn't think of any difficulties. Two people have agreed, willingly, consensually, and there is still a need to envision difficulties? In my imagination, love is able to go through fire and sea. Marriage is a piece of iron that can withstand all kinds of forging.

　　Thinking about this, in a car full of people, although I a foreigner, but did not feel lonely at all. When I got off the bus, I could see Ping Ping, see familiar people, there is a dependence, see lovers, there is warmth.

　　The bus stopped into the small steam station in Rucheng, all the passengers carrying large and small packages out the door, I just came down alone empty-handed two feet. I did not bring anything, Ping Ping also said: buy something, you can buy in Rucheng. To be honest, I do not know what I can bring, what I have at home can bring. When you get to Rucheng, Ping made the call that is.

　　Out of the bus station alley - Rucheng than Ningyuan, what is smaller one, the house is short, narrow alley, the city is also small. However, I am the East Dryfoot, Rucheng than the East Dryfoot territory is mostly. Pingping thought I was just talking on the phone, may not be true, so did not come to pick up the station first. And reassured, while knitting sweaters, while slowly pretending to walk as if nothing happened, pure luck, but also perhaps in the cover up it. I wandered around the entrance of the alley at the station for a while, and if Pingping didn't come again, I would board the bus back to Chenzhou.

　　When I was looking anxiously at both ends of the alleyway, Ping Ping appeared with an unhurried look poking half a sweater. I called out, her that big face suddenly flew full of red haze, even her eyebrows to find. She hurriedly rolled up the half sweater and held it in her hand, while saying that she was surprised that you really came. After a pause, only to say: go home.

　　Rucheng county streets on both sides of the house painted with foreign gray, the alley or stone roads, stone footings, or the old look. Not far away, is the river, the river willow, only just arrived in spring, golden mixed with dark gray branches, has not yet sprouted. The river is silty and black. And this side of the house, there are three or two stores, selling daily necessities, selling fruit, selling electrical appliances. By the door, there is also bacon. The bacon in Rucheng is not baked, it is sun-dried. The day is good, every household sun bacon, under the wall, under the eaves, on the tiles, bacon, chicken, fish, together, like in the shoes composted two months of stinky feet. When I went to the store, I bought this, and Ping Ping said I had it at home, and I bought that, and Ping Ping said I had it at home. Finally I took it upon myself to buy a box of apples. The county committee will enter the door of the compound, walking across the wide paving slate road, I was impatient: Ping Ping's family actually live in the county committee family building!

　　Pingping said his father works in the county committee.

　　Well, love has nothing to do with his father.

　　Pingping said her mother is at home.

　　Well, love is something that we both do.

　　I consoled myself one by one, went upstairs, entered the door, saw his father, was calm, said hello and went out. See his mother, gave me a colored face, did not say a word, went into the kitchen busy.

　　There is still some time before dinner, Ping Ping said: let's go outside for a walk, there is a park in Rucheng, it is worth a visit.

　　When I got out of the door, I found it a lot easier.

　　After crossing the stone bridge with carved railings, along the elm tree boulevard, half a circle around a square, you will arrive at the park gate, the park east a grass, west a yellow soil. Looking up, at the top of the park's hill, there is a lonely octagonal pavilion. Along the mountain and the stone steps, parked in twos and threes, the stone path, into a flower vine.

　　Our affair, my mother disagreed, saying that the two places of Ningyuan Rucheng are too far apart.

　　What about your father?

　　My father said young people's business, their own ideas.

　　What about your attitude?

　　I am afraid that my mother can not think.

　　It was a smooth journey, but I didn't expect to be tied up in a knot when I arrived in Rucheng. Pingping did not have his own attitude, I stuttered and lost the language.

　　Give me some time, I'll get through to my mother.

　　How long?

　　A year, two years. You wait for me for two years.

　　In two years, I'll be thirty. For a man in the countryside, the family economy relies on a few acres of land, after thirty, it becomes a veritable headache. I started to calculate my own little thing. Or two months can work. Or, we elope together and go directly to Guangdong to work.

　　Pingping is a kind girl, not interested in my adventurous plans.

　　East Dryfoot no longer looked like a loving mother and became a liability. I also lost my pride in the few acres of orange groves I owned, which I had planned to finance after marriage. However, in Rucheng, in the family building of the county party committee compound, the rural acres of orange orchards were too thin and pale. What else do I have? I don't have anything that I can bring to the table to impress or convince Pingping's mother. What would Pingping take to convince her mother? To package a poor man as a meat and potatoes? I took a look at Ping Ping, such a simple girl, lying is not her strong suit. I can't teach her, and bragging is not my strong suit either.

　　What the fuck should I do?

　　There is no fucking place or object.

　　Evening dinner, very depressed. I don't know what to say. Pingping's father also drank two cups with me, after all, he is a parental official who has seen the world, can not do the appearance of a small chicken belly. Pingping's mother has refused to confront me, directly picking out her dissatisfaction with me.

　　Considering that Ningyuan is two hundred kilometers away from Rucheng, at this time I am like a group of fish in mid-air with no legs to lean on.

　　This is more difficult than unemployment.

　　Her father is winding me up with false feelings.

　　I'm talking out of my ass.

　　Ping Ping is like a sandwich heart.

　　Am I too eager to get things done? Or do I think too highly of myself? Or, am I too wishful thinking?

　　I asked myself a number of no's and left myself out of the bottom of the barrel.

　　I spent the night in his brother's bed - his brother never showed up. After breakfast, I had to say goodbye. The first thing I did was to say that I was a little maid. When I got to the station, the sun was shining. The car to Chenzhou, the car to Guangzhou, the car to Dongguan, the car to Shenzhen, laid together. Let's run. I said half-jokingly and half-seriously.

　　I ran, my mother can not think, it will be a big deal.

　　Mom's love, can not doubt. Mom's choice, and may not be 100% wrong.

　　I solicitously went to the ticket window and bought a ticket to Chenzhou.

　　Pingping said: I'm sure I can convince my mother. She is a reasonable person.

　　I hypocritically said, "Okay," left her behind and got on the bus. I wondered how I could give my father a reasonable explanation. Is it the right family? This is good, the love of the right family, there is a whole family of support, in order to maintain. Love is the most unstable thing. Long distance love, no love. Just like the woolen clothes in your hand, how to poke, are a hole.

　　The time to go to Rucheng, fearful. When you leave Rucheng, your heart is at a loss.

　　Fortunately, the day began to rain, the early spring rain, wisps, the sky is dark, a gray, and unhappy with the melancholy very match.

　　The car to the point of departure, the car out of the alley when I look around, but also did not see her.

　　I realized at that time, I like to travel on the road, but also like to be alone. A person's feelings, the most appropriate, is to hold in the heart, and then, look at what, have a heart to heart feeling.

　　Rucheng, the last is a bus left in the air in the ears of a whistle.