Whale of a Time!

As a single father, I learned that the most meaningful moments of my life were the times I spent with my daughter during our annual summer vacations. Regardless of the destination or the time we spent together, those moments and memories will always remain priceless! This story is about the year I decided to take my daughter to Alaska, which yielded one of the most memorible moments in "our" lives. Little did I know, I would capture two incredible photographs, of which one holds no weight to the other.

There was no concept of time while we goofed around, explored obscure tourist traps, and navigated our way through each other's blissful enjoyment. I have watched my daughter grow up to be the softest, yet strongest, stunning young woman during these summer trips. It was in her strength revealed years later that really brought me to tears as I saw a photograph of her, as I was slipping in and out of consciousness.

This daily consciousness, or lack thereof became a focal point in my life moving forward.

This story is a reminder of how fragile life is, and how fast it can be taken away from you. I reflect back on all the years, and all the trips and little moments, and wish... I was just a little more present. I wish I was completely present.

THE PLANNING

I decided I was going to buy an expensive camera, telephoto lens, etc., and use this trip to Alaska as my entry into the hobby of photography. Oh, the learning curve was not easy, as I was taught about filters, shutter speeds, batteries, different lenses, etc. It turns out my favorite part of the hobby was the camera bags! That's another story for when I discuss my OCD. Those camera cases have so many pockets, I can spend days in there.

THE CRUISE

For some odd reason, I booked the cruise on the Princess Line, where no one was under 60 years old. I think I booked the singles cruise for the elderly, but we made the most of it! There's really not a lot to say about a cruise other than, eat, walk around, get ice cream, re-eat, get a snack, walk around ... and eventually make it to dinner, with a day that's topped off with a midnight buffet.

THE EXCURSION - SEARCH FOR WHALES

This particular day ended up being one of the greatest, lesson learning moments in my 52 years of life. Everything was going wrong that day. From the second we woke up, there was obstacle after obstacle. The toilet overflowed, my stomach hurt, the clouds were gray and the wind was not in our favor. I was at a familiar intersection, with two directions to decide on. Do I say, "yes let's go.. let's go for it!", or do I take the easy route and say, "No way, I'm not going out, this is gonna be a disaster!" The thought of getting in a little tender-type boat on such a nasty, overcast, and rainy day was not "tickling my fancy", to say the least. I was saying to myself (add angry NYer voice) "No way we're gonna see a F-ing whale! This is a scam, blaa blaa". Little did I know, these 3 hours on this little boat in who even knows what body of water, a microsecond would change my life forever.

After a 40 minute ride or so, we approach the area where the whales are supposed to be jumping, and flopping, and doing their thing. It wasn't but a few minutes later, the clouds worsened and the winds picked up. The rain began to come down in buckets. Every person on that boat went inside this tiny cabin and ate their money's worth of fresh smoked salmon, while one person with a bright yellow poncho was determined to capture a photograph of a whale breaching! This camera-toting, soaking wet- smelling, tourist was me.

At this point the crew is even laughing at me, and I'm saying to myself, "No F-ing way! I wanna see something... anything.. a tail?".

THE PHOTOGRAPH THAT STOPS TIME

It wasn't but a minute before I gave up, and succumbed to the weather Gods and ADD, when I looked up one last time and captured the above photograph. I realized at that very second, this quest for whales, was but a search for this smile. I succeeded!

A FATHER'S PROMISE

Years later, as I laid dying on life support, drugged and semi-conscious, the photograph of my daughter's face, not the whale found its way into my mind. I was motionless, timeless, and painless, yet I recall nothing but love and peace. It was this love, and the voice I was hearing so softly, that provided the will to survive and not let go. It was just another intersection, just like the decision to take that boat ride to possibly see a whale in the rain. I undoubtedly chose the right direction, and pray I never forget the will I possess to chose the same.

DISCLAIMER:

The above was a sounding board, and not a true reflection of my writing capacity. I still fight every day for life, yet EGO still remains. I have more work to do. -𝑔𝑒𝓇𝒶𝓁𝒹