We Didn't Have Much, But We Had Enough

Last week I told you I felt a strange peace in the middle of all that fear. I said more was coming.

The Peace That Made No Sense

Despite all the fear of the unknown I was dealing with, I felt a peace that made no sense in my body.

The state benefits program told me I had to sell the truck I had, because I was only allowed to own one vehicle, even if the other one was broken down and not running. Then they told me I had to remove my name from all the joint bank accounts in order to apply for, and hopefully get approved for, assistance through their program. I had to do it and wait 30 days to hear if they would give us food and cash assistance to keep a roof over our heads while we waited for a child support order and housing help.

That meant I had to find a way to provide for my kids all on my own for 30 days. I didn't have a job or a way to work, being a sole parent of young children.

But with all the support I had from my church community, I was able to keep a strong faith that God had me and would provide. And he did!

How the Support Found Me

Before I filed for divorce, I started volunteering at my church's food ministry as their pig farmer. I would take all the scrap waste left over at the end of the food pantry event and bring it home to my pigs for food. I went from being the food waste pick-up person to actually volunteering as a worker. I helped set up on Fridays and Saturdays and worked with clients while they shopped.

God himself put this volunteer position in my life at the very moment I needed it. He heard my cries of wanting to go to church and needing a support system. I feared going to church, or most places alone, back then, and my husband is a non-believer and against it. God found a way to put me on the path to knowing him. He knew exactly who I needed in my life and where that would come from.

They introduced me to an all knowing, all loving, and all providing God through that ministry. They all prayed for me and supported me emotionally through this whole divorce. They became more than just fellow volunteers.

There were two people from the ministry who were the most supportive for me. One is my now best friend, Britt, and the other is Eric. We had so many people there that I have become friends with. I was actually friends with Britt long before I filed for divorce, so much so that we hung out at her house with the kids, went kayaking, and so much more. She knew me very well and saw what I was going through.

Each week, at the end of Friday night and sometimes Saturday morning, we would all share our prayer requests. People would help pray for my health struggles that were impacting my potential work future, and over my marriage. I didn't want divorce, but I also didn't want the abuse anymore.

The Gift Card

They put a gift card together for me, and Eric gave it to me when he invited me to go biking with him one weekend my kids were with their father. I didn't want to accept it, but I did, and it made me cry. I was so grateful, but I also felt a lot of shame for not being able to provide for my kids on my own. It took a lot of time for me to learn that it was okay to accept help.

My kids had no knowledge of the gift card, but I always told them all the ways God was working in our lives. God has humbled me so much over the years.

My ex-husband was also ordered to pay temporary child support every week until we went through mediation. I was also allowed to shop at the food pantry as a perk of being a volunteer. We didn't have much, but we sure did have enough.

Forgiving Quietly

One of the greatest gifts was God teaching me to forgive all those who had hurt or abused me. When I did this, that was one of the things that brought me the greatest amount of peace. I never told those people that I forgave them. All I did was forgive them quietly.

They taught me that putting my faith in God and following what he asks of us leads to true peace and so much more. They taught me that God provides all we truly need.

I've learned so much over the past few years that has changed me so much as a person. I want you to see how compassionate God truly is, and how he can heal your soul from the damage of the people who hurt you.

If you need support, or you just want to talk with someone who has been there, reach out to me. Reply to this post or message me on Instagram @Melissa_Rich_Peer_Support. I’m a certified peer support specialist, and I’d love to hear where you are.