"We can do it"

The story begins in the small city of Bling; Bling has a population of 5,000 people, and it is miles away from the capital. Many in the town refer to this country as the hunger games; no one in the city of Bling can enter the capital if they do not have the financials or the ability to assist the wealthy in their gains. Jonicia's mom Jenna dreamed of going to the capital since she was a child. It becomes a reality with her child's birth and successful life cycle, regardless of the relationship between both parents. What are life cycles, you must be asking? It is the nine stages taken towards living within the norms of society: this tool allows professionals to explore the successful integration of their clientele. The life cycle is essential to share, as it highlights how one can derail but return to the tracks when willpower is present.

What are these cycles? "1) Commitment: Assume spouse roles; separate from family of origin; establish relationships, and divide work. 2) Developing New parent roles: Assume parent roles, expectations, and more; Assume child-rearing responsibility; ready for a change in work, recreation, housing, and relationships; and Establish rules regarding children. 3)Accepting the new personality: Continue development of parental roles; Allow development of new individuals; Relate to developing personalities; make new space arrangements. 4) Introducing the child to institutions outside the family: Expand parental roles; support child's first separation, accept child's developing autonomy and accept changes in the family organization; make or show a connection between outside institutions. 5) Accepting Adolescence: Deal with the emerging sexual identity of a child; accept the increasing influence of peer groups; promote differentiation and autonomy of the child. 6) Experimenting with independence: Deal with increased striving for independence; facilitate greater participation of child decision making; Participate in the education and career planning; Accept lessening of ties to the family of origin. 7) Preparing to Launch: Accept independent adult role; plan for separation; face own middle-age transition. 8) Letting go and facing each other again: Rework spouse roles; Face unresolved issues of the past; work out separation problems around the children. 9) Accepting Retirement and old age: Develop role transitions and new lifestyle; develop activities other than work and family; Face the physical and emotional problems of aging; deal with losses; and begin your life review. (Vanier College, family systems)."

The commitment began when Jenna, Jonicia's mother, left her parent's home to develop her own life. On her first night of living alone, Jenna meets James. Jenna returns home with James after a party for tea and talk, as she grew interested in dating him. When it was time to sleep at the end of the night, James refused to leave and forced himself onto Jenna. Jenna does not report James and gets herself checked for all sexually transmitted diseases and infections; they all came back negative, but her urine shows that she was pregnant since she waited a month to get tested. Jenna, close to her family, was ashamed to tell her parents a lie about the pregnancy; she said she had a one-night stand because she did not want to inform them that she was rapt. When Jonicia was born, she brought joy to Jenna's life; Jenna promised herself James would never be part of their life. Young Jonicia grew a fascination for the wildlife and outdoors, as the owner's wife gave Jenna the okay to bring her. The wife would bring Jonicia for her daily fruit hikes while Jenna worked the farm and fields. Upon their return, Jonicia was asked to draw or paint her favorite thing she saw on the trail. This system was working well until the owner's father had fallen ill, resulting in them selling so they could be closer to him, who was millimeters away from the capital. They offered Jenna a job and said they could only double her salary and could not provide housing; as a result, Jenna opened her own cleaning business, as she could not afford the cheapest housing in the area. The money was good, and it provided Jenna and Jonicia with a lifestyle that allowed Jenna to push Jonicia towards art.

On Jonicia's seventh birthday, she is surprised by James, who came unannounced and uninvited. The entire family, including Jonicia, questioned who he was, and he responded, "the father of Jonica." The family, in shock, goes to ask Jenna, who has gone mute with a blank stare: James walks up to Jenna, taps her on the shoulder, and says, "see you in court," and slides papers for a custody case for Jonicia. Therefore, resulting in the inability for Jenna to provide the lifestyle provided initially due to the court and lawyer fees. At eight years old, James is granted full custody of Jonicia, and Jenna would have her on the weekends. The family grew furious, and the grandparents tried to counter sue for custody. The only way the grandparents could win was by Jenna admitting Jonicia is a baby born from rape. Admitting the rape would be the only reasonable explanation for why James, a millionaire, was not allowed to be around Jonicia since birth; he argued that he had the right to be in the child's life. Jenna, as a result, was diagnosed with depression and turned to writing and drinking.

While Jonicia was living with her father, he continued to push her towards art: at the age of 15 years old, she sold her first painting for two thousand dollars. James took the money and invested it into trades under her name. Jenna was proud of all Jonicia's accomplishments. Still, she never grew accustomed to the co-parenting relationship due to the history with James never being handled but instead pushed away to avoid the pain of processing the trauma. Processing events are essential to one's healing because all traumatic events put the brain in a fight, freeze, or flight mode. How? "cortisol" is released into the brain, and that indirectly re-wired your brain to respond more quickly should you be in the present, see, smell, or feel anything similar to the traumatic event. Luckily Jenna would only return to the 'current stress' phase of the seven steps to process trauma when seeing James. She wanted to remain strong for Jonicia but was also balancing the depression of losing her daughter full time, making co-parenting harder for the two because Jenna would avoid James or ignore him when picking or dropping off Jonicia. The relationship between Jenna and James does not go unrecognized by Jonicia, and it's something that will later affect her future relationship, as she perceives their love for one another to be within the norms of society. Researchers would call this Secondary trauma, as Jonicia inherits the trauma by assisting her mother through hers when seeing her; what are the seven steps? "1) Traumatic event: Leaving someone in the states of not feeling safe or having control over what can occur. 2) Changes in the brain: The event becomes something unprocessed; therefore, the emotions are contained. 3) Current stress: Something that reminds the person of the trauma: it could be a song, smell, food, ANYTHING. 4) Painful emotional state: The person experiences feelings of sadness, depression, anxiety, and other things like fear. 5) Self-destructive action: Suicide, self-harm 6) Destructive Behavior: Inflicting pain onto others 7) Retreat: Isolation (Vanier College, …Mental Illness)."

At the age of eighteen years old, Jonicia is a well-known painter worldwide, resulting in her painting a family portrait of the royal family at their granddaughter's baptism, which the family later bought for the entrance of their home. The painting went viral online, resulting in multiple interviews and flights out of town. The painting going viral was the first step to the healing of Jenna. Jonicia would often bring her mother on her trips, making Jenna's dreams of going to the capital and getting published a reality. On one trip, Jenna had her completed novel "The single," and the interviewee asked if they would be okay with her giving them a copy so they could show it to their cousin who is a publisher and has published many writers who have New York's best-seller titles. Jenna agrees. Upon their return, Jenna gets a call from Johnny, Jonicia's boyfriend, about his relationship with Jonicia. He says she is distant but he knows she loves him. He was worried something had happened and feared speaking to James, as he would approach Jonicia right away. Jenna explains this was what she learned to be within the norms of society because of the relationship she holds with James. Johnny responds he will remain with Jonicia but questions the level of love because he fears asking for her hand in marriage will end their relationship because she is already so distant. Jenna excitedly shouts, "Marriage, say no more, my boy, you guys are coming over for supper and invite James." Johnny says, "no problem," and then hangs up. The moment he hung up, the phone rang again, and it's the publisher telling Jenna they're ready to print and dispatch 10,000 copies of her book and more if the sales go well.

Jenna dancing begins to cook and sing. Later that night, Jonicia and Johnny arrive for dinner, and Jenna says, "What about James?" James then exits the parked car and says, "present." The two look at one another, and for the first time in many years, Jenna smiled in his direction. Jonica instantly looked at Johnny and raised her brow, and Johnny lifted his shoulders and whispered, "I don't know." They all wash their hands, then sit at the table and start to eat: Johnny announced he wanted to purchase a new home to flip and hoped everyone would be open to a family project. Jonicia laughs and responds, "you don't know my family? This our first dinner together, since I was born, pushing it much," Jenna responds in saying, "whoa, whoa, in life, your biggest traumas can bring you the best years of your life afterward. We were lucky to have you, but that event was scary, and I had to push your father away for my sanity' James begins to cry. Jenna continues, 'But we stayed in contact because we wanted the best for you, we might not be like you and Johnny, but we do love you and baby, I know you can love better and accept your father and me trying to grow something through the love you two share. Just look how far we already made it, yes, the first dinner of the many to come, show us how to love baby, love your man with all you got. I'll try to care for your father." Jenna then looks at James, who is crying, and says, "we will try and build this home with our daughter. We are taking the steps, James, but I know you remember and know, I'll never forget; I forgive the entire situation because I see the regret in your eyes, let's flip this home, we can do it." James wipes the tears from his eyes and says, "regrated it the following day, I liked you, I lost myself on the drugs, but this will be something for us to fix after or during the process of flipping this home if you're open to it?" Jenna smiles and responds, "We can do it."

The four flipped the home and merged their companies. Johnny in construction, James in engineering, Jonicia in interior and exterior design, as she began to study the field, and Jenna for cleaning. Their company was in such high demand that Jenna forgot about her book; once as she left a property, she received a call letting her know that the first 10,000 copies were sold within a week, and the additional 20,000 books released were sold out within two months. They required a new contract signing for other books to be published, as she may be a best seller by the end of the year. Jenna begins to jump and shouts, "yesssssss" James runs out of the house with Jonicia and Johnny behind and says, "what's wrong?" Jenna hugs him for the first time, and she says, "I forgot about my book; the publishers just told me all the ones published are sold out, and they are seeking to publish more. They believe I am going to be a best seller." Jenna then hugs Jonicia tightly and says, "baby, we made it; I love you and your courage throughout these years; I have you to thank; I am truly blessed to have you as my child." Jonica smiles and responds, "I love you too mom."

Johnny's cell then rings, and it's a new client; he takes the details and tells the client he'd call back. They would be flipping a mansion, and everyone would work closely, as they want it done within three months. James looks at Jenna, spreads his two hands, and says, "can we do it?" Jenna takes him by the hand and says, "we can do it," and then lets go of his hand. The project turned into the city's biggest museum, and it brought James and Jenna to speak more outside of work and in therapy. James and Jenna getting along brought forth a massive breakthrough for the family, especially for the relationship of Jonicia and Johnny. As a result, Johnny asked for Jonicia's hand in marriage, and the two are expecting their first child in a few months. We can do it; it is time for a new cycle!

SOURCE: 1) Class Notes: "Working with family systems". Vanier College. 2015 2) Class Notes: "Substance Abuse and Mental Illness". Vanier College. 2015