Visiting My Younger Self

If I could sit down with my younger self for just a few minutes, there are so many things I would want to tell her.

First, I would tell her to stop worrying so much about what people at school think. When you're young, friendships, cliques, popularity, and fitting in can feel like the most important things in the world. You spend so much time wondering if other people approve of you and whether you belong.

What you don't realize is that most of those people will eventually become distant memories. The opinions that seem so important now won't matter nearly as much as you think they do. Looking back, I only keep in touch with a handful of people from high school, and life turned out just fine.

I would tell her to be herself. The things that make you different are not flaws that need to be hidden. They are the very things that make you special. Don't waste so much energy trying to blend in when you were never meant to be like everyone else.

I would also tell her that life is going to surprise you.

Some surprises will bring incredible happiness, the kind you never saw coming. Others will bring heartbreak, confusion, and pain. There will be moments when you feel lost and wonder how you'll ever make it through.

But you will.

Every difficult chapter will teach you something. Every challenge will reveal a strength you didn't know you had. The struggles that seem impossible in the moment will eventually become part of your story, helping shape the person you are meant to become.

Most importantly, there is something I would tell her that she doesn't know yet and it may be hard to hear at her age, but it is important that she know. Not only because it is the right thing to do, but also for health reasons.

I would tell her she was adopted and no one will tell you until you are 57. The sense that she felt she may be were absolutely correct.

One day, you will learn a truth that changes the way you look at your life and your family history. There will be questions. There will be emotions you never expected to feel. There will be moments of searching, reflecting, and trying to understand where all the pieces fit.

But learning that truth will not change who you are. You can still love your parents but learn about your other family as well.

You will still be the same person you were before you knew. You will still be loved. You will still belong. The discovery won't take anything away from you. Instead, it will add another chapter to your story and help you understand yourself in a deeper, more meaningful way.

Be prepared starting in 2018, you will begin to lose those very close to you over the next nine years. Grief will be hard to address as you take care of your mom after your dad passes. You will finally address it when you seek counseling in 2025.

If I could leave my younger self with one final message, it would be this:

Life isn't going to unfold exactly the way you planned, and that's okay.

Some of the most important lessons, truths, and experiences will come from places you never expected. The twists and turns, the unanswered questions, and even the painful moments will all have a purpose.

So keep going. Keep believing in yourself. Trust that you are stronger than you know.

One day, you'll look back and realize that every challenge, every surprise, and every piece of your journey helped shape the person you've become. And that person is far stronger, wiser, and more resilient than she ever imagined.