Victim

I come from wealthy middle class family. 3 brothers no sister, the second eldest out of the siblings. I was a kind person who would say yes to everything. Very easy going, understanding , loving and a door mat.

Early 2000 my parents found a “prospective groom”. The guys family came to see me. One of his family member asked me to walk. I thought how silly is this. They asked few questions and I left the room. I can hear them agree to everything make arrangements for the engagement date. After all this my parents sent my cousins husband who I’m not close with at all or hardly talk to him. To ask me what my opinions is. I said what’s the point of asking if you guys have fixed everything with out asking me first.

I remember the engagement was on Mothers Day. Yes, I got engaged, but so much anger and hatred was building up. After the engagement I approached my cousins husband told him I don’t want marry the guy. He said he will have a word. He invited the guy, but nothing happened.

It was getting closer and closer, I decided to approach the guy and tell him to back off. I said it will be easier from his side to do it. Next day, my mother consulted me and the emotional blackmail started. I had to give in, because I didn’t want to be a cause of my father’s ill health.

In mid 2000 I was forced into arranged marriage, which I came out of within 3 months of marriage. It was extremely difficult to keep that man off me. My marriage was not consummated, thank God for that. Only I know how I managed to keep a 6ft man off me. As I could not stay with the man, my parents disowned me and lost touch with all my family member. I was forbidden to stay in touch with them.

In 2003 I got married to love of my life, that’s what I thought. This relationship was a long distance relationship, from two different countries. I used to travel to see him every three months and stay with him for about 3 to 4 weeks. We had our ups and downs. He was the one who wanted call it off. To this date I have no idea why he broke it off, but I do have a feeling that he has medical issues. He knew how much I love children. I know he has been married for the last 10 years and has no children. Got divorced at the beginning of 2007. I was in touch with him even after divorce. When I told him I was getting married, he was like if it doesn’t work with you and your husband will you come back to me. I said no, when you spit something out you cannot take that back.

My parent's took me back then got me married to illegal immigrant end of 2007. I had not fully recovered from the divorce, but I was happy with the man, as I got speaking to him before our marriage. Obviously you can tell why he got married, yes that’s right for passport.

In 2015 become a victim of domestic violence, this is when things got out of hand and my friend who had witnessed everything called the police on him. I had restriction orders. Prior to this blow up a few times he had laid his hands on me before.

We are now separated. I have 2 wonderful kids whom I’m actually living for. He tries to get back, but I have no feelings nothing at all. I think I hate men in general now. We argue at times, calls me all sorts makes me feel so worthless.