Until You

In our Asian culture, FATE is God's arrangement. What we owed in a previous life, will be paid in this life, or in the next life. Depending on how you live in the present life, depending on your perception of Kamma, and depending on whether you know how to make changes to change your life or not. There is a saying “If you want to know the cause and effect of your past life, look at the RESULTS of this life. If you want to know the RESULTS in the next life, look at the CAUSE that this life is sowing.”

Maybe, in my past life, I was some kind of swashbuckling, bohemian romantic, and I've hurt many women, so in this life, in love, I've always been treated badly, not being respected and loved by them… even though I treat everyone with all my heart…

14 years ago, I met and fell in love with a man through an online dating site. He is very sweet, understanding, especially know how to treat people and is very religious. I fell in love with him through that. In the days close to Tet, he sent me $100 to buy fruits and vegetables ... to make offerings to the ancestral altar, Buddha Dharma. About 3 months from the date of knowing each other, although we have never met in person because of the geographical distance between VIETNAM - USA, but he proposed to me and we started planning the wedding ceremony that would take place. in 2 months, when he returns to Vietnam to visit me. The wedding dress has been ordered, the wedding dress is the same, the card has also been printed… The restaurant has also finished choosing the dish… But,…. Life always has BUT that no one anticipates…

He usually goes to work at 8am. That night, I called him about 4 times, then he answered the phone and said:

Him: I'm going to a friend's party today, I'll call you tomorrow!

Me: You drink less!

The next morning when I woke up, I called him on the phone:

Me: Did you have fun at night?

Him: It's fun, it's been a while since I've had a chance!

Me: What time do you come back from playing?

He: Well, I played until 5am before coming back….

Hearing this, I started to feel uneasy. I thought to myself, I go to work at 8am, but come back at 5am, I don't have good health to go to work. Thinking that, I said “I don't want to talk to you”… So I hung up, not saying goodbye to him like I always do.

And… I didn't know that, after that hang-up, the storm of my life began….

I kept thinking, it was just women and girls who were angry and aimless, looking forward to being patted and begged by their lover… But for the next 3 days, he never called me on the phone. Because I miss him so much, I took the phone to call him… the first time…. 2nd time…….100th time… Can you believe I made all 100 calls? I left a voice message saying, call me back and I miss you…. Yet, in response to my longing and longing was an eerie silence…. 2 days later, he picked up the phone I called, when I was calling unconsciously because I missed it, I could only hold the phone, call, call and call.....

Me: Thank God! You received my phone. Are you mad at me, why did you just pick up the phone today? I miss you so much bro….

Him: I've been thinking these past few days. I think I should break up with you. You seem short-tempered, I am afraid that you will get married later, we will be angry, quarrel and get divorced, the children will suffer...

I feel like I'm dying behind that statement. I still think I'm hearing wrong.

Me: Do you really want that? Do not! Let me apologize to you! I don't want to lose you, I'm just worried about you going out too late to come home tired, then get sick, how can I go to work...

Him: I've decided! Sorry to you!

Me: Please excuse me! I will use all my heart, love, devote, take care of you for the rest of my life…. Don't leave me, bro!...

Hanging up……

(continue)