TURN IN A BAD HAND

TRUE STORY

TURN IN A BAD HAND

I WAS BORN DECEMBER A WEEK BEFORE CHRISTMAS. ALL I CAN REMEMBER IS FIGHTING SCREAMING AND CRYING. I COULD NEVER SLEEP PEACEFULLY. MY DAD WOULD COME HOME DRUNK AND START PICKING ARGUMENTS WITH MY STEPMOM. I HATED WHEN HE CAME HOME. WE NEVER KNEW WHAT TO EXPECT. AT THE AGE OF 4 MY DAD TOOK ME AND MY SISTER AWAY FROM MY MOTHER. AND MOVED US IN WITH A LADY THAT SOON TURNED OUT TO BE MY BROTHER'S MOM. SHE KNEW MY DAD WAS MARRIED AND HAD 2 DAUGHTERS AND SHE STILL ALLOWED HIM TO BRING US TO HER HOUSE AND HAVE A ALREADY MADE FAMILY. DURING THEM YEARS LIFE WAS SO CONFUSING WE NEVER KNEW WHO WAS WHO AND WHAT WAS WHAT. MY DAD USE TO BEAT ME. WHEN I WAS 9 ONE OF MY OLDEST COUSIN MOLESTED ME. I KEPT THAT A SECRET UP UNTIL HAD ENOUGH SECRETS TO SELF DESTRUCT. BY THE TIME MY DAD WAS TIRED OF THE STEP MOM HE MET A VERY YOUNG GIRL .AND HE DECIDED TO LEAVE HER AND GO SHACK UP WITH THIS YOUNG GIRL. SHE DIDN'T WANT A ALREADY MADE FAMILY SO MY DAD DECIDED TO GIVE US BACK TO OUR MOM. BY THAT TIME MY MOM ALSO WAS SELF DESTRUCTING IN AN ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP AND USING DRUGS. AT THE AGE OF 14 MY MOM DIED FROM AN OVERDOSE OF HEROIN. THAT IS WHEN MY LIFE TOOK A TURN FOR THE WORST. BESIDES MY MANY SECRETS AND ALL THE ABUSE AND ABANDONMENT I RELIVED MY MOTHER'S LIFE. I CHOSE ABUSIVE MEN I STARTED USING DRUGS.AT THE AGE OF 17 I HAD MY FIRST CHILD. SHE WAS EVERYTHING TO ME. HOWEVER MENTALLY AND PHYSICALLY I COULDN'T FIND THE LOVE I SO DESPERATELY WANTED TO GIVE HER. AT THE AGE OF 18 I WAS SENTENCED TO 1 YEAR IN JAIL. MY GRANDMOTHER RAISED MY DAUGHTER BECAUSE I WAS SO BOUND BY MY SECRETS AND HURT I REVERTED BACK TO WHAT I KNEW SO WELL. AT THE GE OF 27 I WAS SENTENCED TO 81/2 YEARS IN BEDFORD HILL CORRECTIONAL FACILITY WHERE I THEN WAS ABLE TO WORK ON MYSELF AND GET THE TREATMENT I NEEDED TO UNDERSTAND WHY AND WHO WAS AND WHAT WAS MY PURPOSE IN THIS THING CALLED LIFE. I MET A MAN THAT TREATED MY LIKE A PERSON A WOMEN HE TAUGHT ME THAT I WAS BETTER THEN MY CHOICES BETTER THEN MY SECRETS AND BETTER THEN MY HURT. THAT WAS MY SON'S DAD. IN 2004 HE PASSED AWAY. I FELT THAT EVERY HAND I WAS DEALT WAS THE WRONG HAND,, WHY ME. I THEN MET A MAN THAT I FINALLY FELL IN LOVE WITH AND MARRIED, I HAVE BEN MARRIED FOR 13 YEARS I HAVE MY OWN APARTMENT MY SON HAS GRADUATED HS AND IS SOON LEAVING TO THE MILITARY. TODAY I AM A PROUD MOM AND I LOVE MYSELF MY FAMILY AND MY LIFE... IF I COULD DO IT SO CAN YOU!!!!!

immediate family
Jolinda Brown
Jolinda Brown
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Jolinda Brown
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