Treasure Your Grandparents

My Grandmothers were both wonderful women. Both grew up on a farm and had to work hard. My fathers mother was born September 6, 1907 and passed away June 23, 2008. She is the one I want to reference and tell you about. Grandparents aren't supposed to have favorites, but since I was the first grandchild, I was her favorite. She always told me growing up "momma couldn't wait until you were born." But my great grandmother died in August 1960 and I was born in November 1960. On the day I came home, her and my other grandmother got into an argument over who was holding me on the drive home. My mother's mother won that argument, but I won her heart.

I would end up spending nearly every weekend at her house as my parent's marriage started falling apart. As a child I would write her letters once a week and tell her what I was doing and how I was getting along. I was the only grandchild to do so. She would write me back. I would read and re-read her letters, just knowing my granny had written me. She always called me sugar lamb. Whenever I spent the night she would always say good night, sleep tight and don't let the bed bugs bite.

I didn't realize it at the time, but my grandmother would end up defending, protecting me and letting a lot of stuff slide. She never understood why I had boys coming to the house instead of girls. A year or so before she died she said I always knew you were gay. Why did you get married and make yourself miserable. I responded with I really don't know.

What made my grandmother so special to me. She was a wonderful woman as I have said. She went through life with only a third grade education. She was very smart with the limited knowledge she had. She could stretch a dollar, or as my relatives said she could pinch a penny until it bled. She insisted on paying for everything such as my father cutting her yard. After her second husband died, she too her old fifty-five Chrysler and traded it for a seventy-three Chevy Nova. I asked her one time how much she put down and paid monthly, she said, I paid cash honey.

Like many grandmother's she had many catch phrases. If you would describe gross scene in a movie, she'd say that's enough to puke a dog off of a gut wagon. Her biggest one was Lord have mercy on their soul.

My granny kept me in shoes and clothes all of my childhood and paid many of my school fees. If not for her, I wouldn't have made past the third grade myself.

My grandmother was half Dutch and half German. Her father died when she was eight. He worked for the railroad and fell off of the top of the roof. Her father was sixty-eight when she was born, her mother was thirty-three. Her father served in the Civil War as a Confederate Soldier. He enlisted in West Virginia, he was a corporal upon enlistment and a captain when discharged.

My grandmother lived through many historical events, cars, flights, the world wars, the great depression, etc. She lived through and experienced them. She knew hard times and learned from her mother to spend only when necessary. Before being discharged from the Army, I sent my last six months pay home. She stretched that into a years allowance for me.

After I was discharged from the military, I lived with her until I was married. My stepson just adored her as did my wife. My grandmother managed to see another generation grow up as in my children and she met her only two great great grandchildren. They were three and two when she passed away. One thing about my grandmother she still had all of her mental faculties about her when she passed away. She made the decision to end her own life, we didn't.

Despite the fact that I lived in Denver, CO I worked for Frontier Airlines. When my dad called and said that my grandmother wouldn't live until the next day, I took a free flight out and arrived at midnight. My stepmother picked me up at the airport and took me to the hospital. I was allowed time with my grandmother. I didn't know if she could hear me because she was unconscious. I kissed her on the forehead, grabbed her hand and said good-bye my sweet princess, I love you and you will be dearly missed. I turned and walked out of her hospital room. As I left I looked back one last time, taking in my final vision of her. As I walked out of the room sadness overtook me, but no tears came, As we were pulling out of the parking garage, the nurses called and said my grandmother had passed away. My employer sent flowers, which surprised me considering I had only been on the job six months.

I believe she held on until I arrived to say good-bye to her. For years my grandmother would ask me you are coming to my funeral. I would always say yes granny I am coming to your funeral. She would smile and say I know you will. That seemed to be a major concern of hers but I kept that promise. I have asked my grandchildren if they are going to attend my funeral and they said you we will paw-paw.

As we had the graveside service for her, they released a dove at the end. The choir sang Life's Railway to heaven. Then, I read this poem before she was lowered into the ground. Light After Dark by Nurul Naiimah

As I sat by my window,

Looking out at the grey sky.

Tears rolled down my cheeks,

As its finally time to say goodbye.

Goodbye to a friend

Who was always there.

Goodbye to a family

Who always showed care.

Someone whom I turn to,

I don’t know how to move on.

Someone whom I relate to,

But now you’re gone.

But then a blue bird came,

And sat by my window.

The sun starts shining,

And evaporated all my sorrow.

Good memories came

To wash away the sadness.

Mended my heart

And filled it with gladness.

I wiped away my tears

And now that you’re gone.

I can’t give up now

I have to move on.

It has been thirteen years since my grandmother passed away. There are time when my sister and I will be talking and I will use a phrase that my grandmother always used and my sister would say, granny used to say that. I miss her something fierce, but I know we will meet up again. I know she was my best friend. As I have delved into genealogy, I have found that the city I was stationed in in Germany is where about forty percent of my German ancestors originated from.