Too much suspicion of the man should not be

　　What kind of love object do you meet? What is in the mind of the lover? In the end how to deal with him ...... these puzzles are like the Da Vinci Code, must often haunt you in the relationship. From 2021, your new best friend "bright eyes to know people" column will accompany you around, hand to teach you how to know people, identify people. A monthly lecture, to help you become a little love master, the master of running a marriage.

　　He likes to check your cell phone, when you and your friends party, hate to call a dozen phone check; he always love suspicious, you and other people talk more than a few sentences, he suspected that you have a hidden relationship; he always do not believe that your love and loyalty to him, suspect that you have private money, suspect that you have a basket of past love history has not been clearly explained to him ......

　　In many people's inherent impression, easy to suspicious of the majority of women, but in actual life, there are actually many suspicious of the male.

　　One reader is going crazy with her suspicious husband. Her husband's mother cheated on him when he was a child, and would bring other flirtatious men home in front of him when his father was not home. Those men would buy him candy and tell him to behave and pretend he didn't see anything. But the child's precocious heart actually knew everything. After growing up, the seeds of suspicion took root and he decided that his wife would also cheat on him. So, he called his wife that a strict defense, not only firmly forbade her to interact with strange people of the opposite sex, but also from time to time to spy on his wife's cell phone, and later even to the point of secretly stalking his wife.

　　"I feel as if he is addicted to stalking, trying to find ways to watch me, very exuberant." The reader's feeling is correct, her husband is as if back to the scene of "catching" mother as a child, he actually does not really care whether his wife cheated. What he really wants to do is to try to turn this suspicion into reality, he can get a different kind of "sense of accomplishment", and their relationship with the couple, also step by step towards the breakup. This kind of suspicion disease, need to receive timely psychological treatment to get rid of.

　　Suspicion disease, there are light and heavy. Light, is to eat jealousy, love to look through each other's cell phones, love to past love history to the bottom; heavy, it will develop to control each other's every move, suppression, tracking, and even restrict each other's freedom of movement.

　　How to determine if he is a suspicious man? You can observe him from some of the following aspects.

　　Does his father love to suppress or control his mother in his family of origin? Are his parents divorced and are they cheating on each other? Does he like to look through your phone, diary or social media, intentionally or unintentionally, when he is dating you? Is he particularly concerned about your past love history and prone to incessant questioning? Does he have a sensitive personality and is prone to suspicion of injustice even at work? Is he the kind of man who constantly asks "Do you love me? Does he always ask you to report your whereabouts? If you do not receive his phone calls, he will persistently chase?

　　Generally speaking, if the above performance more than 3 points, this person is generally susceptible to suspicion disease. Small suspicion is pleasant, big suspicion hurts. Perhaps he is insecure in this relationship, the man's face is afraid to admit, then you need to see the essence through the phenomenon. Sometimes, a warm hug, repeatedly express "I love you", timely report on the whereabouts of the track, are to let him quiet down, reduce anxiety and suspicion of a good way.

　　But from the small suspicion of love, to the big suspicion of hurt feelings between, often only a step away. Some men from the beginning of the small suspicion, slowly developed to the point of cynicism, derogatory suppression and even control tracking, you have to think, he is not a psychological problem?

　　If you are not doing anything wrong, but he just likes to control everything in the relationship in his own way: for example, no socializing without his permission, asking you to delete all other contacts of the opposite sex, etc.. These behaviors may be out of macho psychology, think women should be dependent on the man, your world around him is enough; perhaps out of inner self-confidence, to put it bluntly is the fear of comparison with other men, fear of other men than their own better. Whatever the psychology, it will make you feel suffocated. This is when you have to establish a sense of bottom-line thinking and communicate with him seriously about which moves are absolutely unacceptable to you. Control may stem from suspicion, but the essence of it is not love, but something wrong inside.

　　With suspicion in the heart and at the mercy of emotions, people get into situations that hurt them, such as angst and anger. Suspicion requires looking within and healing the inner trauma, realizing exactly which traumas have formed the pattern of the mental script of suspicion.

　　It's not scary to have a suspicious mind. When his suspicion comes, all you have to do is soldier on. First categorize his suspicion and distinguish which kind of situation his suspicion belongs to. The small suspicion as a life you to my love, big suspicion to communicate and even analysis and treatment. Only then, your feelings will not be because of the suspicion of the flood of reef.