To the parent that has lost a child. You are not alone!!❤️❤️

Im candi and just wanted to write to all the parents out there that may be struggling from the grief and pain they feel from losing a child or children. I know personally how hard and painful your journey is. I lost my son 20 years ago at age 7 from an AVM, it stands for atrial Venus malformation. It's like an aneurysm but this kind sends a chemical off in the brain so they dont suffer. I never thought i would experience anything like this in my life. It is definitely not a club i wanted to be in thats for sure. I wouldnt wish this on my worst enemy. I was angry for a long time when people would say, just get over it or they are in a better place. I finally came to understand that they dont know how we are feeling because they have never experienced such loss and pain and it wasnt their fault that they hadnt and that it was ok. Im glad they havent. It took years to feel that my son is in a better place than being on this earth in a world were people are cruel,mean and full of hatred. They dont have any love and compassion like they used to. I know it has turned your whole would upside down and leaves you in a deep dark place in life. I used to call it my black hole. Its a pain and helplessness that you cant just switch off,even at times I wished I could have. I just want to follow my heart and the Holy Spirit to write a short story and maybe help someone that is hurting and let you know I'm here just to encourage you that your not alone and there is some that is on the other side of that pain and despair. I was tired and miserable of being depressed and feeling my life was over, even though I had two other children that was depending on me to be a mother. I stayed secluded and isolated myself in my room for months without ever wanting come out. I didnt want to be around anyone,talk to anyone and i was just existing, i was physically there but mentally i wasnt. There was so many triggers that would set me in a crying mood or panic mood. I couldnt drive for along time either. I didn't want to live anymore because that pain was great and I didn't know how to control it or make it ease a little bit so I tried drugs,alcohol and whatever I thought that would numb that pain or fill that void so I didn't feel it anymore. Of course doing things my way,of the flesh didn't work. I got on my knees one day and cried and begged and pleaded to God to heal my brokenheart and fill that void because I knew He was the Only One that could. Im 5 years clean and sober now and living the best version of myself I possibly can. So if your tired and miserable and want a way to peace and comfort then I would say pray to the God of the universe, The One who Loves You unconditionally. His word says in Psalms 34:18 "The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those crushed in spirit". Jesus loves you. Never give up. There is a light at the end of this life and we will see our sons and daughters again. God has a plan and purpose for us all and we just have to surrender our all and follow the Holy Spirit and obey the Word of God. If this has helped please leave me a comment, I personally read them all and will write you back. I pray whoever reads this that God will give you Peace and Comfort and Happiness and Love