To My Loving Grandparents

This feels a bit strange because I rarely post anything remotely personal about myself on the internet and I feel awkward, frightened, and vulnerable from associating anything from my real self to a potentially wide audience.

This also isn't a new thing where I have just suddenly had this urge and debate within my head and as part of a New Years resolution to take a risk to suddenly put myself out there. No. I've had this debate quite a few times in the past, and every single time, I've struggled to let go of my baggage, to truly free myself from my past and everything that defines me, to chase after my dreams in the land of the free that is known as: The United States of America or the U.S.A. for short.

My mentors are my grandparents and they essentially raised my little sister and I from a young age. They filled in the time and the gaps that my parents left as they went by their busy, weekly work schedules. I would remember from the age of 13 and below, there were quite a few summers when my little sister and I would spend at my grandparents' house. Those were the best summers of my life.

We would watch television for hours on end, switching between grandpa's Westerns, the Cartoon Network channel, the Food Network channel for grandma, and the Disney channel for more kids shows for my little sister and I. All in all, it was a pretty good deal because my parents could focus on earning money for the household and didn't have to deal with the constant energy drain from the two little monkeys they had while my sister and I had a blast at our grandparent's house, while also providing them with company.

However, if you thought that it was all just fun and games, you would be very wrong. Born into a strict, traditional, Asian household, there would be many daily, weekly, and to be honest, all the time expectations that we were expected to uphold and to keep in mind, in case we do something that might tarnish the reputation of the family or ruin the family name.

My grandparents were also traditional and had standards, I mean they were the ones that made it possible for my dad to come into being and in turn, created the opportunity for my little sister and I to also come into existence. But they taught meaning behind their actions. They didn't just tell us to do stuff just for the sake of tradition or because it was something that had been passed down for generations, but rather, they would thoroughly explain why some things were the case and have the patience to talk us through the steps along the way.

So we would bring our summer workbooks to grandpa and grandma's place and we would practice anything from reading, to learning about reading comprehension, to practicing our math tables: addition and subtraction for my sister and multiplication and division for myself. Also we had to help out in the yard whether it was to climb the ladder to pick the Asian pear fruit from the tree or tend to the rosebushes and rake the leaves, there was hardly a dull moment at grandpa and grandma's house. However, there was also the sense of calm, of peace, and of safety and that however rambunctious we were, there would be that protective blanket that enveloped the environment. Even our usual rambunctious and rowdy selves were calmed down from just being in such a loving and calming environment.

My grandpa would teach us the 3 D's: Dedication, determination, and discipline. In order to be able to achieve anything in life, first you have to dedicate yourself and really immerse yourself into learning everything there has to be learned about the field or obstacle you are trying to conquer. Determination: to be able to continue and put oneself through the right mindset where even if there are setbacks, you will be able push through the obstacles if you have the end goal in your sights and in your mind. And finally discipline; to have the discipline to finish what you started and not be distracted by any temptations that may crawl up upon your path.

My grandmother would be the support, but if anything, she was even stronger than my grandpa and would look out for each and every single one of her family members. Nothing escaped her, although sometimes she held back and would quietly pull you off to one side to check on you and check up on you to make sure you were upholding yourself to be a proper, outstanding citizen that both your family and society could be proud of. Regardless of your situation, grandma would always make sure you were well fed and although she didn't always say too much, she always said a lot through her food. Her language was food and it expressed her love and happiness she had for her family.

I hope and aspire to be even one-tenth of everything my grandparents were but I know they would want me to forge my own path and to trust in the path I create for myself. They had faith in me so it's time for me to put some more faith in myself and show myself off to the world. I want to do my best to also be unapologetically myself and to let the world know my story, my family's story, that we are here, and we have a right to be heard. I will continuously throw myself out there into the void and wait for the moment when the void gives me an answer. Until then I will continue to express and disclose snippets of myself in the hopes that I can help others through the power of words and their connectivity.

Thank you all for reading a small window into my life and I look forward to continue sharing myself with each and every one of you. Until next time.

Best,

Just Daniel