Tiny Hearts

I took a breath and let another giggle past my lips. It is the morning of February 14th, 2021 and I am mesmerized by my daughter's angelic face as we swing and shake to Pharrell's energizing voice in the song "Happy". My heart overflows with love as I let the fact that she is my very own happiness in a world of uncertainty, wash over me.

🎵Pharrell Williams - "Happy"🎵

Valentine's Day had never felt so peaceful, joyous or rejuvenating. For many years, it had solidified its place in my life's history, as a day to frantically scramble for gifts or complete acts of romance that rarely illuminate the true state of a relationship. Now, divorced for two years shy of a decade, I watch the other singles in my life mope around, feeling sorry for themselves and their missed Instagram-able moments. So many people are generally burdened by tasks of gifting or self-loathing on this day, but, I chose long ago, to recreate the focus of Valentine's day: highlighting love for whoever was present in my life. There are so many people who bring meaning to my life in many different ways, but this year the pandemic encourages introspection and attention to your loved ones who are closest. For me, that is my little brown skin girl, whose love came into my life just when I needed it most, and who has influenced my model of self love for eight amazing years! So this Valentine's Day and all others, we start the day with singing and dancing to our favorite songs and creating our own Anti-Valentine's Playlist in celebration of self- love!

🎵Beyoncé - "Brown Skin Girl" (Lyrics) ft. St John, WizKid, Blue Ivy Carter🎵

I never miss a beat or opportunity to tell my daughter I love her. She is beyond beautiful inside and outside! Stronger and more resilient than I could ever hope to be. On Valentine's Day we start the day with her favorite cereal separated with love and in the form of a heart. We crank up the volume on Alexa and sing at the top of our voices together! This is something we do without occasion, because if you can't already tell music is our everyday love language. So as Alessia Cara's voice blends with ours, and the words of "Scars to your Beautiful" flow through our home, I pour milk into the bowl of the red froot loops and smile with contentment. Making my daughter believe in herself, her uniqueness, her beauty, and her intelligence is a passion I live fulfilling. Her tiny heart meant the world to me, from the day I first heard her heartbeat, and will take precedence in my life until the last beat of my own heart.

🎵Alessia Cara - "Scars to your beautiful"🎵

Self-love demands that we show up everyday in our authentic skin, whether that is our exhausted, frustrated selves, or our jolly, adventurous selves. Our emotional intelligence must be perceptive: knowing who we are in all situations, for that is the path that leads to our acceptance of self. Not many girls are taught that all their sides, corners, and curves are gorgeous. Not all girls are taught to look in the mirror and tell their reflection that they are beautiful in mind, soul and body.. But Idina Menzel and Evan Rachel Wood used a popular children's movie to announce this message. Even if you don't have a child and you're looking for a moment of mindfulness. Or if self-loathing is your current reflective behavior, hitting the link below and letting the lyrics of "Show Yourself" from the movie Frozen Two wash over you, will change your life! Idina Menzel and Evan Rachel Wood is nothing but inspiring in this song about self-acceptance, self-love and self-confidence! Forget romance on Valentine's day...let's have a conversation about what love should feel like, without waiting for Prince Charming. Our children need us to normalize understanding how to love yourself as you grow and mature so that you have enough love to share with others when the opportunity arises.

🎵Idina Menzel, Evan Rachel Wood - "Show Yourself" (From "Frozen 2"/ Sing-Along)🎵

In her book "More Than Enough", Elaine Welteroth affirms research that shows that a girl's confidence may peak at approximately age nine. But for us 90s babies of middle class families, what were we doing at age nine and prior that ever allowed us explorations that produced a sense of confidence? I most certainly wasn't involved in any conversations or activities that made me feel confident about my body, uniqueness, or culture. But the lesson I learned is one I intend to use to the best of my ability, to prevent the next generation from suffering the same fate. As a mother and educator, I strive to pass along the possibility of acquiring dreams and being amazing in your own skin, to the tiny hearts I inspire. I aim to do this in a way that allows the younger generation to eventually develop "herd immunity" to self-loathing. The goal is to empower them to skip the lightning: the flash and flare of social media fabrication and become a boom of "Thunder": making an impact on the world through courage, confidence and dedication.

🎵Imagine Dragons - "Thunder" (Lyrics)🎵

Therefore, it is important that I teach them to embrace authenticity and love who they are without comparison to others. For my daughter, that means encouraging her knowledge of her West Indian and African culture with a spin, hop and dip from the popular song "Jerusalem" which reminds us that faith is important, belief is rewarded and joy is attainable. Also, because no black playlist is complete without a signature line dance that brings the community together in a tangle of moving feet, swaying hips, and the laughter of young and old.

So after attempting once again to follow the line dance movements for this popular song, my daughter and I fell on the couch in an almost rehearsed tangle of arms and legs, laughing heartily, and holding onto each other; ready to begin a day that we will always know is filled with love. Even if either one of us must spend a Valentine's Day on a deserted island, this love we cultivate for our authentic self will remain strong. It's a love that is too strong to be negated by society's expectation for one day of the year!

🎵Master KG - "Jerusalem" ft Nomcebo🎵

So every Valentine's Day please be sure to celebrate the love you do have for yourself, friends, family or children. Whether you do that through dance, hugs or time together, know that February fourteenth is not exclusive to couples and the giving of gifts. It is a time of expression and gratitude.

I express today that I am, a term my daughter coined very eloquently, "a single pringle", happily marinating in my can with a dance of flavors. And if you are also single in this season of your life, remember, that it is important to love yourself fiercely, no matter the season! Practice and model self-love everyday of the year, because what you think and do today matters, for your well-being and for generations of tiny hearts to come. So practice "The Greatest Love of All": the Whitney Houston classic for the person in the mirror.

What's that I hear? Did someone ask for a classic love song about self-love? Give Whitney a listen...she never disappoints!

🎵 Whitney Houston - "Greatest Love Of All"🎵