Till Death Do Us Part

Two guys who met on a gay website and one of them made a formal request for dating, right there in front of the other’s building, on the same day they met for the first time. Ricardo answered yes to my request. Since then, we have been together. My last day with him in this life was Friday, March 26th.

Ricardo was in an excellent phase of life. He was spiritualized and more supportive of big causes than ever. You could see that Japanese boy with his eyes shining when he was going to do things he loved, like listening to Dua Lipa several times on the same day, playing with the dogs, or putting food for the birds. He was so excited about the birds that he already knew a lot about the birds here in Pennsylvania after a while feeding the food in two places installed in the yard. He explained to me about woodpeckers, showed me the difference between the various types.

Ricardo is funny, and he used to be expelled and talked a lot to the squirrels going to steal the birds’ food. I loved that. Because of the pandemic, we spent almost a year without leaving home. Every day together. From good morning to good night, for a year.

It was one of the best years of our life together; we laughed and had the most fun. It was a happy year that started shortly after our separation. He asked me for a divorce on March 17th, 2019. I had never suffered so much in my life. We broke up because the fire was over, and there was brotherly love. So we got divorced; I went to live in a studio apartment. I stayed there for six months, but we were always together when he was out of travel. With the pandemic, I came back to our home. I thought it was better, and he had already insisted on it. I like to remember him telling me that we should get through the pandemic together. Maybe you think this divorce story is heavy and sad, but we were very civilized besides the suffering. We don’t fight over anything!

We looked for new music on Fridays. Every day we watched videos by Anitta and Dua Lipa; we watched all the lives of Geraldinho Neto, a medium and writer and a Chico Xavier friend. Geraldo Lemos Neto always talks about changes on earth and life in the spirit. We watched these lives glazed on TV like people who like soap operas and do not want to miss any chapters. We learned so much in these lives and videos. He sent these videos to his mother, and they always talked about the subjects that we saw. Now I understand that it was a spiritual preparation for what I am going through now.

He was working to be a better person for the world. We stopped eating meat, started to do meditation, started reading the Spiritist Gospel, and every time one was complaining a lot about life, the other said — Look, Chiquinho is watching. It was our way of saying — take it easy, and follow what Chico Xavier taught.

American Citizen

After Trump became president of the United States, Ricardo started watching everything about politics. The TV was on CNN all the time. I am very proud that he expressed himself more about it. He followed Joe Biden’s entire campaign and was happy when he won.

Ricardo recently became an American citizen. He was super excited because it would be one more vote for Democrats. He was horrified by the barbarities of Bolsonaro and resigned to people believing in these remedies for Covid-19 that are useless.

Recently we sat outside to see the sky at night. We bought a telescope, and after several attempts, we let it go. People laughed at our failure as astronomers. Ricardo loved all the documentaries about beings from other planets and secrets to be revealed. We watched all available.

Every night he called Cidinha, his mother. And she eagerly waited for him to call. It is the most beautiful mother and son relationship I have ever seen — pure love. Ricardo is a fantastic guy, and I say in the present because, for us, death is only the physical body; the spirit continues.

March 26th, 2021

When I heard the tree breaking, I ran close. I found Ricardo unconscious but breathing. I don’t know how long it took the 911 people to arrive. It usually takes less than five minutes, but it felt like hours. I could see that it was severe, and I didn’t believe what was going on — him in my arms, and I asked him not to leave.

The police arrived, then the ambulance. The cops asked me to leave, and in a short time, I was going to the hospital. It happened around six in the afternoon. At 10:15 that night, a doctor came to tell me that the love of my life did not endure and passed away. I never considered this situation.

In our conversations, we concluded that we know each other from other lives, that we are two spirits who love each other very much, and that we were together in this life to evolve together, helping each other. That is exactly what we have done since that 31st of August 2009, the day we met.

Even devastated by his death, I know that nothing happens by chance and everything follows the natural flow. It comforts me to know that he is now in the spiritual world and that real life is eternal. One day I will meet my love again. Until then, I follow my mission with more love than sadness because I will take Ricardo forever inside my heart. 🖤